A Little Rest & Relaxation....

Yep- I can't wait til my last hour at work passes so I can go home and enjoy my long weekend.





I found out a really awesome thing tonight.........
YoVille has a FISHING GAME !!!!!
And a MOTORCYCLE RACING GAME....
AND a CASINO!!!!!!!!
And Furniture shops
and clothing shops
and a pet shop,
and a gym
and a widget factory with a real smart-mouthed supervisor who you can throw water balloons at as you walk out the door.

I love fishing games.

Some Things Never Change.......Re-Post from 2005

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Nut Case Monthly

WARNING- THIS BLOG CONTAINS MATURE AND INTIMATE SUBJECT MATTER- IF YOU ARE EASLILY OFFENDED- OR ARE A FAMILY MEMBER -BE ADVISED THAT IT MAY CONTAIN INFORMATION YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.

We women are nuts- absolutely certifiable.

Every month I go from sweet adoring wife who would do anything for her husband to mean obnoxious hag from hell in the space of about a day an a half.

I'm serious.
I have told my darling husband that after a certain date he should just get out the handcuffs, shackles and gag, and chain me in the basement for a week. I equate the whole process to becoming a werewolf. Actually, I think a werewolf could be a lot NICER than a woman on her menses.

I'll go thru this from time slot to time slot, refering to the dreaded time as GROUND ZERO.

One week before Ground Zero- I am fine. Typical conversation between hubby and myself as I arrive home from work....

Him:" Hi Sweetie! "
Me:"Hi Babe."
Kiss-kiss-kiss.....Hug-Hug-Hug.......
Him:"How was work?"
Me:"Work was work, as usual. How was your night?"
Him:"Fine- Worked on my book- played a few games on the computer, read about half a book"
Me:"Great! Glad you got around to reading the book- it's due Friday isn't it?"
Him:"Yep, and I'll be finished by then. Would you like some breakfast?"
Me:" That's sweet of you, but how about I make breakfast for you this morning since you made it yesterday?"
Him:" Okay, Love you!!"
Me:"Love you too."

Two days later....
Sittting together watching TV.
A program is on we both normally enjoy watching, but I am beginning to feel a bit antsy. I don't know why. I just want a bit more attention than he is giving me at the moment. I sit and stare at him for a while- hoping he will catch the hints I am obviously throwing his way.
He doesn't catch them.

I sigh loudly and turn back to the TV. I watch a bit more and then get up and wander around a bit, walking in front of him and the TV several times hoping he will catch the hints I am obviously giving him another chance to catch.
He still doesn't catch them.

I walk past him again and sit heavily back down on the sofa next to him and give another long sigh as I lay my head on his shoulder.
He looks at me and smiles. I am somewhat pacified and watch the rest of the show with him altho I for some reason find it nessecary to change positions several times to make sure he knows I am throwing more of those obvious hints for him to catch, but when the day ends, he still hasn't quite caught it- altho before the week is over he will certainly GET it.

Two days later........
I awake from sleeping, turn over and hubby is sleeping so sweetly beside me.
I snuggle up and he snuggles back- and falls back asleep.
This is frustrating........and a bit more than mildly irritating. How can he sleep when I want to cuddle?
I snuggle closer- wiggling quite a bit more than I have to to become comfortable. He sleeps on....
Dammitt- I want attention- I want it NOW- I "accidentally" wake him up- that ought to do the trick.
"Sorry" I say sweetly and cuddle back up. "S'ok" he says.
And promptly falls back asleep.
Loud sighs- gone unheard because he's back asleep........ I finally get out of bed and dress....of course I make as much noise as possible and have to climb over the side of the bed a couple times before I find my sneakers. I go to the kitchen and bang the pots and pans around - not because I'm going to cook anything, mind you. Just because I am feeling VERY antsy and cranky and I want someone else to give me some sympathy and attention and they can't because they are sleeping blissfully in the bedroom.......... I then go to the den and put the TV on- and knowing how he hates to listen to the DIY decorating shows- I turn the sound up to 3/4 volume. My reasoning?
If he can't sleep- he will come and do one of two things- either get up and come get me to go back to bed(therefore giving me the attention I want WHEN I want it-) OR- he will get up, get dressed and get me to turn the dreaded DIY show off and we will do something together(therefore giving me the attention I want when I want it).

i.e.- I get my way.

Sometimes it works - sometimes it doesn't.......

Ground Zero- but before the actual menses show their presence......

Same conversation as a week ago. but in GZ time........
HIM:"Hi Sweetie"
ME:"Hey Babe."
He tries to kiss me- I give him a quick peck and go to the bedroom- all I want is to get these damn work clothes off- I hate work- I hate the drive every night- I feel like crap and I don't want anyone else to feel better than me.- And don't be so damn perky and smiley either, dammitt.
Him:" How was work?"
ME:"It was crap- I hate that damn place. Everyone is rude and obnoxious and I get crap for evrything- whether it's my fault or not......... Where the hell is my damn sneakers? Why is it that every time I come home everything is moved around?"
HIM:" I'm sorry work was bad baby- can I make you some breakfast? And BTW- Your sneakers are just inside the closet- I put them there when I hoovered last night."

Oh............Now you would think I would feel remorse for being such a bitch..... but I just want a good row right now...........

ME:" Well, you would think you would put them back where I had them- that way I wouldn't have to hunt for an hour after working all night. My back is killing me and I am so hungry I could eat a horse- the LEAST you could have done was had a pot of coffee waiting for me while I waited on breakfast, but nooooo--- I have to make my own damn coffee."
Cue me stomping off to the kitchen.....

He stands there looking at me with a look of pure bewilderment on his face, not knowing what the hell has happened to his sweet adoring wife- and probally wondering if he has any chance of making it to the door and locking me inside before I have a chance to rip him limb from limb and have his liver for breakfast.

He wouldn't have a snowballs chance in hell.


I then go to the kitchen and make breakfast myself, all the while making as much noise as possible (and mumbling under my breath about nothing specific- just all the sailor words I have learned and a few I have made up)- this time because I AM going to cook something, and cook alot of it as well, dammitt. I cut my finger and this absolutely infuriates me- so I take the knife and go outside and throw it into the nearest tree trunk....It quivers in the tree for two minutes after I go back inside. That ought to teach that bastard knife a lesson.....

I finish breakfast and take a couple of tablets. My tummy is cramping now and my back is hurting. I have a massive headache and ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING is pissing me off. And on top of it all- I am in need of a serious lovemaking session.

HMMMmmmmmmm...... Let me just say it's damn hard to convince your man to give you some loving when you can't find him because your man is cowering in the back of the closet of the guest-room holding his breath because he's afraid if he moves you will find him and dis-member him.

DAMN HARD.

Let me just say- I know what a nut case I am- I admit it- and am sorry for it- and if there was ANY way I could controlit - BELIEVE me- I WOULD!!!- But I can't- no matter how hard I try to control it- I know it's going to happen and I have TRIED to control those urges It's impossible- Honestly and truly, it IS.

So sweetie- Let me just say... From the first day I snap at you- give me three days- and then, while I'm asleep- get the cuffs out and snap them on as fast as possible- As a matter of fact- slip me a Mickey just to be safe so I don't wake up til AFTER they are on.....then drag me to the basement and shackle me to the pipes in the cage and lock it for 7 days- not a second before. And leave me there.....


Just for good measure, maybe you should load the gun with a whole clip of silver bullets.
Don't lay it down- and for God's sake- don't fall asleep til after the 7th day.

I am- after all- good as gold for the other almost three weeks of the month........

**************************************

So here it is- 4 years later and nothing has changed that much. I still get cranky-Okay- BITCHY, and whine and snap for not much of a reason....but Hubby is still here and alive and we are still married and we still love each other.......which just reinforces my point....some things never change.
:-)

Little Britain

It's nice to see my friends getting so much fun out of a series and characters I dearly love and my husband introduced me to.
My personal favorites- Andy & Lou, Sebastian, Margerie Dawes, Vicky Pollard and of course, Bubbles.
Long Live Little Britain.

Drama Queens?

I overheard a discussion last week about how .....ahem...."exciting" being married to/dating the "Miller Women" is . How we no sooner got over one crisis, than another one followed on its heels before we could take half a breath.
How being with the Miller women had driven the men in the family balding, gray, overweight, and even, in some cases, diabetic.
Well, I thought it was only ME that had so much drama in my life- I'm glad to be in such good company.

(And to all our friends(and my sisters).....this discussion was a funny one said with laughter and fun in their voices- not a bit of complaint and malice intended. I swear, so don't beat them up- and don't put any hexes or spells on them, either.)

Well, I suppose we ARE Drama Queens.....BUT it's certainly NOT by choice- I think all us "Miller Women" would WELL prefer to have quiet, NORMAL lives.......whatever THAT is! Chance and Lady Luck just seems to seek US out for all the crap stuff......The upside being that at some point one of us has GOT to win the lottery and change this streak we're on. (I hope.) I mean the laws of chance has got to be on our side that way, right?.......(if not then DON'T tell me/us that- just leave us our dream intact.)

BTW- August 5th is Sisters Day. I didn't even know it was a holiday til last year!!!

The One That Got Away.......

No- that's not it.......






Paul and I like, totally, kidnapped my son, Frank, yesterday.
We spent the entire day just spending time together catching up with what's been going on in each others lives. We went to Wal-mart and got Franks fishing license as Paul and I had gotten ours the day before.
Then we went to my & Paul's house and made breakfast and sat around watching videos for a while. Then we decided to go fishing since we could go somewhere other than Dad's Pond which was sorely understocked by the Big Flood of '07.
So we loaded up, stopped and got lunch fixin's and headed off to Highway 11 and Lake Oolonoy- a small lake which doesn't allow swimming or gasoline powered boats, but does allow small electric engine, sailboats, paddle driven boats and fishing.

Well, we got up there and lugged all our equipment down on the dock- not really expecting to catch much since there was a stiff breeze blowing, but as any fisherman knows- a bad day fishing on the bank and catching nothing is better than a day spent stuck in the house being bored stupid.

Well, anyway, we fished for a while, and then Paul changed his bait on his hook since his night-crawler was long dead, shriveled and white. Well, he finished baiting, stood up, drew back his rod and gave it a nice firm cast.......and the entire reel cup came off the base and went flying into the lake. Don't ask me how it came loose from the base that was still attached to the rod, but it did.

I had a good laugh watching those two trying to fish it out of the drink, But it was especially funny to me tho cause Paul had given me a HUGE hard time on the way up there about why I had brought four R&Rs with us when there was only three of us going fishing. I told him if we didn't it was just asking for trouble cause if you only have one each, something was BOUND to happen to one of them- sort of like when you can drive for thousands of miles in your car- and the second you take the spare out to vacuum the trunk but forget to put it back- That's the night you're gonna have a flat in the middle of nowhere where there's no one around for miles - and you can't get a single bar on your cell-phone to call anyone.

Lord Love 'em.........I had SUCH a GREAT day!!!!! My only regret is that we didn't bring the camera- nor the video camera. What a shame. Next time for sure!!!!

I Feel Good........FINALLY.

I really feel so much better today.
After going to bed at about 10 last night- I woke up at 4AM and just could not go back to sleep for the life of me....So I did what I usually do when I can't sleep....I got up and went into the kitchen and cleaned it.
Then when Paul woke up, I vacuumed the kitchen, hallway and living room.....something I haven't felt like doing in about a month and have neglected terribly.
I know, But I don't have kids around so things don't get bad or need cleaning nearly as often. So I let it go because I wasn't feeling up to it.

So why do women(ie...ME) feel as tho they/I have to clean house every day whether or not it needs it(other than the required daily cleaning like dishes and cooking and making the bed-which BTW- I think is a stupid idea because you just get back in it at then end of the day anyway. Beds should be made ONLY when company is coming, if you ask me. There should be a rule or something.).......?????
Why can't we just take a day or two off from housework without feeling like a complete and utter slob?
I dunno- but I think my problem is I'm a bit OCD and everything needs to be put in it's place for me to not feel as tho I should be DOING something.
Paul tells me I just need to sit back and relax and let it go a bit.....and you know what??????
I think I'm gonna listen to him and actually TAKE his advice more often.
He's a smart cookie, ya know.
I mean, I could go fishing, or I could go out and shoot my Glock...or Pauls rifle- maybe even take a try at his 12 Gauge even tho the LAST time I tried it, a 12 gauge put me on my butt, quite literally. I might have to go get a couple pairs of ear protectors tho- I have the foam earplugs, but they don't last very long in this weather. I could go hiking, or biking, or I could spend more time dancing- which I LOVE to do- even if it's just around the house. I don't have to be a Club-Rat to have fun.
Paul and I were thinking about what we could do to spend more time together. We both like our drives- but recently- we've had a hard time going anyplace we haven't already been without making it an overnighter.
I don't especially like shooting his long-guns- and he doesn't really like my hand-gun. I like to shoot hoops and pitch horseshoes, but he has problems with depth perception so that ones no fun for him.
We both like to fish- but until yesterday we didn't have a liscence and the pond needs to be restocked since the great flood of 2007. I was thinking abou it all afternnon, and I thought we might go to Rocks and Ropes, but I'm not sure Paul would enjoy that either. I've been a few times and it's nothing like real rock climbing, altho you can get the gist of it there.
I wish we had a pool.....Paul could teach me to swim better. I can tread water for a few minutes if I HAVE to, but pretty swimming has never been within my grasp- mainly because we never went or go swimming often enough for me to get good at it. And I only like Pool water. I like o be able to see the bottom and whats IN the water WITH me. Call me a Prima Dona........I'm used to it.
Gaming , I don't like to do much with Paul....he's a life-gamer and can beat my butt blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back while doing asplit standing on his head int eh wrong direction.
Tell me I'll have fun just knowing THAT! I also get EXTREMELY frustrated when I'm trying to learn a game, alone- let alone knowing I'm holding "The Pro" back while he's trying to teach me-altho he tries very hard to be patient with me....sometimes I can tell he's thinking "OMG- how can she NOT have gotten this by now???? We've been playing this for hours and it's just like she just seen a controller for the first time this very second." (MY thought of what I think he's thinking- not his).
LOL...Anyway, we got a ton of things to try out now......we just gotta find one that fits us as a couple, rather than us as individuals.

Best of News.

Back from hopsital and tests/procedures.

Top End- Ulcer, gastritis, and a hiatal hernia.- Took me off Prilosec and replaced it with Nexium.
Lower End-polyps(which were removed) and mild hemmoriods(which he "took care of").

He put me on a high fiber diet, changed my meds and gave me the news....No Cancer!!!!

Who knows......Maybe God heard my desperation and sent me a message.

Ahem............well.

So......First of all, let me apologise for the rant yesterday....I'm scared and stressed and completely lost it for a while.


That being said........ in 30 minutes I'll be going off to the hospital for my procedures/tests.

I'm bleeping scared out of my mind- which means that there's a 99.99999999999% chance everything will go okay and when they do the EGD they won't find anything more than the hiatal hernia and ulcer I already KNOW I have, and then with the colonoscopy, maybe a case of hemorrhoids that I didn't have til I took that darn laxative crap for the cleanse/purge.

Everyone told me that the colonic cleanse/purge was the worst thing ever. I didn't personally think it was that bad- certainly nothing worse than I've been experiencing on my own for the past month. No, it wasn't THAT end that bothered me.

It was having to mix the Miralax powder with Bleeping GATORADE. I hate- and when I say HATE I mean HATE as in "detest & didn't care if it disappered from the face of the earth tommorow-wish-it-had-never-been-invented "type HATE Gatorade- it just tastes like colored salt water to me. And even tho I started out with the BEST of attitudes, even commenting that Gatorade must have changed their formula because it wasn't nearly as bad tasting as I remembered it, after only four glasses of the concoction- I threw up. Luckily, I had PLENTY of the stuff left to produce the "end" result required.

So now I'm headed off for a lovely morning of poking and proding and being stuck with needles and (the REALLY lovely part) being given a shot of Delauded.

I'm especially looking forward to eating after the procedures since I haven't eaten anything solid in over 35 hours and can probably add at LEAST 5 more hours to it by the time everything is done and I can eat again.

I'm thinking......Texas Roadhouse for some of their Yummy Sirloin tips and mashed potatoes.

I'll probably end up wih scrambled eggs and toast instead tho.
It's just how I roll.

Wish us luck....no- wish us GOOD luck.
(I'm being a bit more specific this time)......

Prove It.

When there is so much chaos and turmoil in my life- when I have prayed and prayed and PRAYED for help- to alleviate to this endless madness that keeps my life turned upside down, prove to me there is a God.
Why does all this keep happening? We no sooner get a half-breath from one disaster til the next hit's us square in the face.
What have we done to deserve this crap that keeps hitting our fan?
I'm sick of it- . If there was a God he wouldn't be putting us thru all this - time and time and time again.
Don't tell me "God doesn't put us thru anything we can't handle", don't tell me that "everything happens for a reason"...I'm not buying that crap anymore altho, once -upon-a-time, I believed it myself and would tell people those exact things.
My faith is gone- I'm defeated.
I don't wanna be the chief negotiator anymore.
I don't wanna be the peacemaker anymore.
I don't wanna keep praying and wishing and thinking things have got to get better- that they can't get any worse- because they do- and then they get worse again........
I don't wanna deal with any of this anymore.

I'm tired. I'm weary and I'm scared.....just let me be. Give me peace.

This Is Gonna Be Interesting........

Okay- so Paulius is Hyperglycemic- and I'm Hypoglycemic.

Isn't that a bit Jack Sprat-ish?

Look Into My Eyes........

Cue Kenny Craig(Little Britan)..Look into my eyes, the eyes......

You see, today Paul and I were at Applebee's grabbing a bite to eat between errands. He was talking to me and I was listening, but because of my job, in which I'm TRAINED to be observant, I wasn't looking directly at him while he was talking to me. I was people-watching, looking at the images on TV and looking for our food to come out of the kitchen so I could take my meds asap.......that sort of thing.
Mind you- I was listening to him and looking at him in between times of doing all the other stuff too. I wasn't completely ignoring him just to do all the other stuff.

He called me on it and so I tried to JUST sit and look directly at him and give him my undivided attention. I did it- but it was unbelievably hard to do- just for the five minutes til he finished his conversation, not because he's not interesting....he's one of the most interesting people I have ever had the pleasure to meet....but because my job requires me to be on alert and super observant at all times, it's so deeply ingrained in my persona that I can't NOT do it without breaking into a sweat. It just seems wrong to not be aware of what's going on around me all the time.

I also have a habit of seating myself so my back is never to the door or the cash register. You can usually tell a law enforcement officer from everyone else even when they are out of uniform, because they all seem to have that particular habit, as well. They also walk with one arm carried apart from their side more than the other......they're avoiding hitting their arm on the weapon that's usually on their side. They also wear a watch just above their wrist instead of on it.

Anyway, my point was......It's not something I do on purpose- I'm not ignoring him......It's just the way I am. I'll try and do better when I'm not on duty. But I'm not making any promises.

Well............hmmm...................sigh.

I............

today....................

well........


Okay................so.............


Ummmmm......never mind.
Maybe later.

Sigh.

It's A BOY!!!!....& Happy July 4th!!!!!!!

Yesterday Marie had her labor induced. Then she had an epidural. I visited her- she was doing fine, but the labor was running slow....she was at 3-4, and not hurting at all, they figured it would be hours (Kathy went for 36 hours before having CJ), So I went to do errands and she was still fine.
So I came home and Paul and I settled in for our long awaited "date night"....the first since our ill-fated camping trip. And I made the mistake of letting my guard down and relaxing and having a few drinks- the first in several MONTHS.......
Our cable system went down for a while....a few hours, and during that time, Paul and I had a couple more drinks to pass the time...Just chatting, and snuggling and catching up.
Then the phone rang about the same time a knock came at our door. It was Julie on the phone, and my brother at the door.
The baby had went into distress (they lost the heartbeat) and Marie had been rushed into have an emergency C-section. The baby was fine- Marie was in surgery for a couple of hours being taken care of.
I missed the birth of my last grandchild. I missed the Birth of my first as well, for the same reason. Julie had been admitted to the hospital for Toxemia and T.J. had went into distress as well and Julie had asked me to go get her husband at work when they told her she was being admitted to the hospital. Before we could make it back- she was rushed into surgery and T.J. was born.
I suppose it's only fitting..............it's come full circle now.
Anyway, Elijah James, born July 3rd(don't know the exact time yet) weighed in at 6 pounds 14 ounces and has a tiny bit of hair!! I'll be going to visit him and his mommy later this morning.
*****************************
In other news...........
Paul and I decided to try out the air-mattress in the living-room idea last night.........Let's just say it was NOT a rousing success. We had to re-inflate it several times during the evening and when I woke up this morning, it was flat on the floor.

Paul has been throwing up all morning long.
He has had an unquenchable thirst for about three weeks now(since the weather got completely unbearable) and when he drank anything this morning, he ended up throwing it right back up ...so it was walk from the kitchen to the bathroom, ad nausem.........quite literally.

Do you SEE now why I don't relax and enjoy life any more than I do????? The last time I let my guard down, I ended up with a 4AM visit from Kathy and her mom telling me my son was gone....this time it was an emergency C-Section when everything was going so smoothly.

Dare I try and take a nap? I don't think so.
Happy 4th Of July!!!!!

Summertime Blues

Man this heat index is about to kill me and my hubby.
Every morning when i get home, our bedroom is so nice and cool....so we go to bed and sleep til about 10AM....and at that point, we begin the journey. Up and down, awake and back asleep as the temps climb throughout the day.
Eventually we get up and make our way to the Living-room to sleep under the coolness of the ONE AC we have in the house.
Well, actually we have two, but one is a TINY one in the kitchen that's been put PERMANENTLY in place in the window (wasn't us- we have NO idea WHY either...)and does us no good except when we're actually cooking in the summertime.
If it didn't involve taking a window permanently out of the bedroom I'd go buy an a/c special for the bedroom, too.
All this waking and going back to sleep is really making me exhausted.
I don' know WHY we haven't moved the bed- or at least the mattress into the living-room already........well, actually I do...it would take up half the living room floor space and the only open spot is directly in the CENTER of the room's floor and that mattress weighs a ton- even sliding it, so it would STAY in the living room floor.......... ALL. THE. TIME.
It's not that we're too lazy to move it- it's just that it seriously weighs a LOT LOT and if you saw the hallway and obstacles we would have to manipulate the mattress around to get it back and forth from the L/R to the B/R, you would understand why it would be impossible to move it back and forth every day.
Besides that, everyone would be walking on it, and sitting on it, and crawling on it and , I'm sorry, but I'm one of those REALLY ODD people who cannot stand the thought, let alone the actual ACT, of anyone but me and my husband being on/in our bed. It actually makes me retch to have it happen...seriously.

We're thinking about taking the camping airbed mattress and using it during the summer- it's MUCH more lightweight than the actual bed mattress and we could put it in the bedroom when we aren't sleeping............only problem is...it's made of that heavy gauge plastic rubber stuff, and we have a kitty-cat who just LOVES to scratch ......anything but his scratching POST we got special for him, that is.
I can see that ending badly.