Well that lasted all of almost 3 days.
A Peek Into The Misadventures of My Crazy Upside-Down Life.
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
What a Difference a Day Makes
Well, two days on and I am now gainfully employed.
Sunday afternoon just 5 minutes after posting my last blog post, I got an alert on my phone for a "Room Attendant" position at the Country House hotel literally 500 yards(maybe even less) from my front door.
WTHeck? I asked. WHY aren't they CALLING me?.... for you see, I had submitted my CV(Resume) TWICE for positions there already in the past two months. I also had went in person just last week to be told that all hiring was done via interwebs.
Now- I was a bit upset at this point- so I decided to go a step further. I looked up the phone number of the hotel and the next morning at 9AM sharp I cold called them...and, of course, I got a recording of my options- but one of the options (5) was to get thru directly to housekeeping. Hmmmmm.... So I pushed 5.
A very nice lady named Jayne answered and I explained who I was and that I understood they were hiring for Room Attendants position. She confirmed and so I went on that I had submitted my CV already on the website and that I had worked with a cleaning company in the states, and that I lived only a few hundred yards from their establishment. (Literally if a major league baseball pitcher stood on my back stoop he could probably hit the hotel with a baseball.) and I asked if there was anything she could recommend to me so I could get an interview and possibly come work at their lovely Country House Hotel.
She asked if I could come in for an interview the next morning at 10am and of course I said yes, indeed I could.
So I hung up- thrilled to have a face to face interview at last- and then I colored my hair and applied a gel peeling cucumber face mask and relaxed a bit.
This morning I walked over- it took far less time than I thought it would so I arrived about 20 minutes earlier than my appointment time- and so I sat down to wait after letting reception know who I was there to see.
I took in the loveliness of the place... all the rich, dark wood and the polished brass and colorful red and gold carpeting.... real old world charm it has- AND as an added bonus- it was already decorated for Christmas!! I was in Heaven!
Well, Jayne then came out and introduced herself and we chatted a bit. She told me about the position, asked me a few questions and we chatted about this and that- and before I knew it almost 45 minutes had passed and she asked if I would like the position and when I would like to start.. so I said Monday? and she said "Be here at 7AM and I will meet you and get your uniform and your paperwork done and you can get with Amelia to start your training! LOVELY!!!"
It's 30-40 hours a week at minimum hourly wage, but it's an active job not sitting at a desk for 9 hours a day and the people I will be working with seemed very nice, too.
So, I walked home (or was it floated) on Cloud 9- happy as a lark to have landed the job I first applied for and that was my very first choice in jobs after leaving my former employer.
This is what happens when you put it in God's hands and let him follow HIS plan instead of trying to force YOUR plan into action. Sometimes God has the same plan as you do- but he does it in HIS time-frame, not yours. So, I am gainfully employed again- Praise Jesus! Amen!!
Sunday afternoon just 5 minutes after posting my last blog post, I got an alert on my phone for a "Room Attendant" position at the Country House hotel literally 500 yards(maybe even less) from my front door.
WTHeck? I asked. WHY aren't they CALLING me?.... for you see, I had submitted my CV(Resume) TWICE for positions there already in the past two months. I also had went in person just last week to be told that all hiring was done via interwebs.
Now- I was a bit upset at this point- so I decided to go a step further. I looked up the phone number of the hotel and the next morning at 9AM sharp I cold called them...and, of course, I got a recording of my options- but one of the options (5) was to get thru directly to housekeeping. Hmmmmm.... So I pushed 5.
A very nice lady named Jayne answered and I explained who I was and that I understood they were hiring for Room Attendants position. She confirmed and so I went on that I had submitted my CV already on the website and that I had worked with a cleaning company in the states, and that I lived only a few hundred yards from their establishment. (Literally if a major league baseball pitcher stood on my back stoop he could probably hit the hotel with a baseball.) and I asked if there was anything she could recommend to me so I could get an interview and possibly come work at their lovely Country House Hotel.
She asked if I could come in for an interview the next morning at 10am and of course I said yes, indeed I could.
So I hung up- thrilled to have a face to face interview at last- and then I colored my hair and applied a gel peeling cucumber face mask and relaxed a bit.
This morning I walked over- it took far less time than I thought it would so I arrived about 20 minutes earlier than my appointment time- and so I sat down to wait after letting reception know who I was there to see.
I took in the loveliness of the place... all the rich, dark wood and the polished brass and colorful red and gold carpeting.... real old world charm it has- AND as an added bonus- it was already decorated for Christmas!! I was in Heaven!
Well, Jayne then came out and introduced herself and we chatted a bit. She told me about the position, asked me a few questions and we chatted about this and that- and before I knew it almost 45 minutes had passed and she asked if I would like the position and when I would like to start.. so I said Monday? and she said "Be here at 7AM and I will meet you and get your uniform and your paperwork done and you can get with Amelia to start your training! LOVELY!!!"
It's 30-40 hours a week at minimum hourly wage, but it's an active job not sitting at a desk for 9 hours a day and the people I will be working with seemed very nice, too.
So, I walked home (or was it floated) on Cloud 9- happy as a lark to have landed the job I first applied for and that was my very first choice in jobs after leaving my former employer.
This is what happens when you put it in God's hands and let him follow HIS plan instead of trying to force YOUR plan into action. Sometimes God has the same plan as you do- but he does it in HIS time-frame, not yours. So, I am gainfully employed again- Praise Jesus! Amen!!
Sunday, November 25, 2018
No Such Luck
Well, almost two months on and I'm still looking for paid employment.I was hoping to land a job within a month of losing my old one, but no such luck. I was also praying for even a smallish lottery win. Also no such luck.
I've submitted hundreds of applications and only have a handful of phone interviews to show for it.
Starting to get very frustrated. The Christmas Holidays are upon us and this couldnt be much more depressing than it is. I cant afford gifts for my family... I might be able to scrape together enough change to send them all a bulk package of Christmas Cards. And it's killing me. This is the first Christmas in their LIVES I haven't been able to give them ANYTHING..... What a sad state of affairs I have let myself get into.
All I can do this year is just keep on keeping on and pray something comes my way soon. Maybe decorating the house will make me feel a bit better...or make me feel a whole lot worse. It's a toss up at the moment.
The day before yesterday I was feeling low and depressed. Yesterday I was feeling really up and optimistic... Today I am feeling so depressed about it all I just want to go back to bed and cry.
Praying that next Christmas will be sooo much better than this one.
Damn any company that lets an employee go just before Christmas. Unless they deserve it- and I defo did NOT deserve to be let go like that. I'm pissed off. I'm also disappointed. I actually foresaw myself retiring from that company in a few years. It's the first time I actually could see myself staying with a company for long term.
Yeah- I whined about the job being so stressful, but only after they added another role into my already full job. If they hadn't added that on I could have happily stayed on for the rest of my working life. I hope they are proud of themselves- they lost a damn good employee.
I've submitted hundreds of applications and only have a handful of phone interviews to show for it.
Starting to get very frustrated. The Christmas Holidays are upon us and this couldnt be much more depressing than it is. I cant afford gifts for my family... I might be able to scrape together enough change to send them all a bulk package of Christmas Cards. And it's killing me. This is the first Christmas in their LIVES I haven't been able to give them ANYTHING..... What a sad state of affairs I have let myself get into.
All I can do this year is just keep on keeping on and pray something comes my way soon. Maybe decorating the house will make me feel a bit better...or make me feel a whole lot worse. It's a toss up at the moment.
The day before yesterday I was feeling low and depressed. Yesterday I was feeling really up and optimistic... Today I am feeling so depressed about it all I just want to go back to bed and cry.
Praying that next Christmas will be sooo much better than this one.
Damn any company that lets an employee go just before Christmas. Unless they deserve it- and I defo did NOT deserve to be let go like that. I'm pissed off. I'm also disappointed. I actually foresaw myself retiring from that company in a few years. It's the first time I actually could see myself staying with a company for long term.
Yeah- I whined about the job being so stressful, but only after they added another role into my already full job. If they hadn't added that on I could have happily stayed on for the rest of my working life. I hope they are proud of themselves- they lost a damn good employee.
Saturday, November 03, 2018
Bits & Bobs....2018
Well, this post is going to be a bit random....
First of all, since being out of work, I have got in the habit of three ways of doing things... either I get up and work on the house all day(this was the first couple of weeks I was out of work de-stressing...) or I get up and go straight to work sending out CVs.....or I get up do household things until 11 or 12 noon and after noon get to work on sending out my CV for work. This last one seems to work much better for me. Mainly because when I get looking thru the job lists first thing I get so caught up in sending out the CVs I will look up and it's already time for Paul to come in and I haven't even THOUGHT about cooking dinner or cleaning house. It's that engrossing and time consuming.
Well, after a day full of not hearing a human voice unless one of my family calls me on messenger for a quick chat, I'm ready for some conversation when hubby comes in from work. Needless to say after having people constantly talking to/at him at work that is at the top of the list of the LAST thing he wants when he comes home- to have another conversation. And having worked at the same place with him with the constant chatter and noise, I totally get that. So no arguments from me.
So, usually he comes in, sits down, and goes straight to the "Headphone Zone" and watches videos to relax. But I still want a bit of interaction with him.... I mean seriously- if we dont talk and only sleep together- what is the point of being married.
However- I have found that when he comes in from his day at work, if I have the TV on and playing the Virtual Fireplace and have his dinner ready to eat- then he tends to have a lovely conversation with me about how his day went, or whatever I have on my mind. I dont even have to ask. On the days I am still on the computer finishing up the CVs and the Virtual Fireplace isn't on and dinner isn't quite ready- he goes straight into the Headphone Zone and doesn't come out- til he goes to bed- even while he eats.
I'm beginning to see how a 1950s and before wife operated.
So At any rate- Yeah- I've figured that one out! Only took 14.5 years to do it too. There's a possibility I may be a little slow, but from now on- Virtual Fireplace on, dinner cooked and waiting.
The job hunt goes on too....I got a job alert from one of the sites I'm registered with. It said it was a PERFECT MATCH!!! I was really excited- and opened the alert- only to find it was for my old position with the former employer. Ummmm... I think I'll pass on that one. Altho I DID entertain the idea of applying for it just to see if I got an interview. But in the end I decided it would just be a waste of their and my time and so no.
I've applied for loads of jobs so far- hospital positions, hotel positions, security positions, cleaner positions... and one I REALLY wanted- working front line at a Cupcake Shoppe. Part time- 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, but I REALLY did want that one. So far nothing much- I've had a few phone interviews that fell thru because I don't drive, but I've been told that it generally takes at LEAST a couple of weeks or so before they even look at the applications/CVs that have been submitted so they have a few to interview and choose from. So it's been about a month so they hopefully will start coming in a bit more frequently now.
In other news....
I'm on a tight budget for the first time in a very long time. Food shopping is horribly stressful for me and Paul. What he considers luxury- I consider a staple for cooking. And since I'm the one doing the cooking, we had a discussion and I told him, just give me a budget of what I can spend on food a week and I will do my very best to keep it well UNDER that amount. So far it has worked beautifully. I usually make a grocery order up and, as I have until 11:45pm the night before to make as many changes as I need, I make it- add/change it thru the week according to what we run out of, then just before bed the night before Delivery Day I go thru it again and fine tune it for what I need most. And after doing that I can usually have a £ or two left to get a snack for him and a snack for me for the week. It's taken a bit more planning, but I have stayed at least £15-20 under budget for the past 6 weeks. We started a couple weeks before I was let go at work as a "just in case it happened"- which it did.
We're managing just fine, but I need to find work as quickly as possible- I can't do this 50s housewife thing for an extended period of time. I need to be independent. As much as I love and trust my husband to take care of me, life has taught me that I need to have a way to support myself should an emergency arise and I have to take care of business myself.
My sister sent be a trial run of the product she is selling for weight loss. I only got it Tuesday- but as of today (Saturday) I have lost 6 lbs. I am thrilled with it and it's only the detox tea I'm using. if you want to know more about it and the other fabulous products she has, get in touch with her directly at this link...
p://resolutiondrops.wixsite.com/teemiller?fbclid=IwAR01sA9DduWBkLFlj3Ljaa9Cc1WQVflGCe4kDr7QQ8fHwmYfYM4up0gR46Q
Or if you have Face Book this is her page;
https://www.facebook.com/groups/235855877104006/
As I said- I am thrilled with the results and I'm keeping account of it and will do a post at the end of the 30 days with all the details of my journey.
Hmmm... what else shall I talk about.......
Oh Holiday plans....
Well, This year is going to be quite low key due to a couple of things.
One..... the Brits don't do Thanksgiving. It's an American thing. So usually the way it works out is I invite the parents over for Thanksgiving dinner- and then we would go to theirs for Christmas Day dinner. But this year with our 2)financial situation and I'll do a roast Chicken with stuffing and Pumpkin or Apple pie for dessert as a nod to Thanksgiving. Then, his parents, I think, are going to Scotland for the Christmas holiday, so I will do a turkey crown with stuffing, broccoli casserole, roasties and a pecan pie or red velvet cake for our Christmas Dinner. VERY VERY low key again.
Next year I hope to be working again, so we will probably do our usual again. I may do a baked ham for Thanksgiving Dinner then.... Something different.
I'm still undecided about decorating for Christmas... on the one hand I think I may want to do it just to keep our spirits up.... on the other I may not see the point. But at the moment-I'm leaning towards decorating to the nines this year.
Lastly, I didn't do NaNoWriMo this year. I am, however, trying to finish one of my 4 books I'm writing. Wish me luck- and if I get it finished I'll let you know where to buy a copy when it's published.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. Til Next time, Yall!!
First of all, since being out of work, I have got in the habit of three ways of doing things... either I get up and work on the house all day(this was the first couple of weeks I was out of work de-stressing...) or I get up and go straight to work sending out CVs.....or I get up do household things until 11 or 12 noon and after noon get to work on sending out my CV for work. This last one seems to work much better for me. Mainly because when I get looking thru the job lists first thing I get so caught up in sending out the CVs I will look up and it's already time for Paul to come in and I haven't even THOUGHT about cooking dinner or cleaning house. It's that engrossing and time consuming.
Well, after a day full of not hearing a human voice unless one of my family calls me on messenger for a quick chat, I'm ready for some conversation when hubby comes in from work. Needless to say after having people constantly talking to/at him at work that is at the top of the list of the LAST thing he wants when he comes home- to have another conversation. And having worked at the same place with him with the constant chatter and noise, I totally get that. So no arguments from me.
So, usually he comes in, sits down, and goes straight to the "Headphone Zone" and watches videos to relax. But I still want a bit of interaction with him.... I mean seriously- if we dont talk and only sleep together- what is the point of being married.
However- I have found that when he comes in from his day at work, if I have the TV on and playing the Virtual Fireplace and have his dinner ready to eat- then he tends to have a lovely conversation with me about how his day went, or whatever I have on my mind. I dont even have to ask. On the days I am still on the computer finishing up the CVs and the Virtual Fireplace isn't on and dinner isn't quite ready- he goes straight into the Headphone Zone and doesn't come out- til he goes to bed- even while he eats.
I'm beginning to see how a 1950s and before wife operated.
So At any rate- Yeah- I've figured that one out! Only took 14.5 years to do it too. There's a possibility I may be a little slow, but from now on- Virtual Fireplace on, dinner cooked and waiting.
The job hunt goes on too....I got a job alert from one of the sites I'm registered with. It said it was a PERFECT MATCH!!! I was really excited- and opened the alert- only to find it was for my old position with the former employer. Ummmm... I think I'll pass on that one. Altho I DID entertain the idea of applying for it just to see if I got an interview. But in the end I decided it would just be a waste of their and my time and so no.
I've applied for loads of jobs so far- hospital positions, hotel positions, security positions, cleaner positions... and one I REALLY wanted- working front line at a Cupcake Shoppe. Part time- 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, but I REALLY did want that one. So far nothing much- I've had a few phone interviews that fell thru because I don't drive, but I've been told that it generally takes at LEAST a couple of weeks or so before they even look at the applications/CVs that have been submitted so they have a few to interview and choose from. So it's been about a month so they hopefully will start coming in a bit more frequently now.
In other news....
I'm on a tight budget for the first time in a very long time. Food shopping is horribly stressful for me and Paul. What he considers luxury- I consider a staple for cooking. And since I'm the one doing the cooking, we had a discussion and I told him, just give me a budget of what I can spend on food a week and I will do my very best to keep it well UNDER that amount. So far it has worked beautifully. I usually make a grocery order up and, as I have until 11:45pm the night before to make as many changes as I need, I make it- add/change it thru the week according to what we run out of, then just before bed the night before Delivery Day I go thru it again and fine tune it for what I need most. And after doing that I can usually have a £ or two left to get a snack for him and a snack for me for the week. It's taken a bit more planning, but I have stayed at least £15-20 under budget for the past 6 weeks. We started a couple weeks before I was let go at work as a "just in case it happened"- which it did.
We're managing just fine, but I need to find work as quickly as possible- I can't do this 50s housewife thing for an extended period of time. I need to be independent. As much as I love and trust my husband to take care of me, life has taught me that I need to have a way to support myself should an emergency arise and I have to take care of business myself.
My sister sent be a trial run of the product she is selling for weight loss. I only got it Tuesday- but as of today (Saturday) I have lost 6 lbs. I am thrilled with it and it's only the detox tea I'm using. if you want to know more about it and the other fabulous products she has, get in touch with her directly at this link...
p://resolutiondrops.wixsite.com/teemiller?fbclid=IwAR01sA9DduWBkLFlj3Ljaa9Cc1WQVflGCe4kDr7QQ8fHwmYfYM4up0gR46Q
Or if you have Face Book this is her page;
https://www.facebook.com/groups/235855877104006/
As I said- I am thrilled with the results and I'm keeping account of it and will do a post at the end of the 30 days with all the details of my journey.
Hmmm... what else shall I talk about.......
Oh Holiday plans....
Well, This year is going to be quite low key due to a couple of things.
One..... the Brits don't do Thanksgiving. It's an American thing. So usually the way it works out is I invite the parents over for Thanksgiving dinner- and then we would go to theirs for Christmas Day dinner. But this year with our 2)financial situation and I'll do a roast Chicken with stuffing and Pumpkin or Apple pie for dessert as a nod to Thanksgiving. Then, his parents, I think, are going to Scotland for the Christmas holiday, so I will do a turkey crown with stuffing, broccoli casserole, roasties and a pecan pie or red velvet cake for our Christmas Dinner. VERY VERY low key again.
Next year I hope to be working again, so we will probably do our usual again. I may do a baked ham for Thanksgiving Dinner then.... Something different.
I'm still undecided about decorating for Christmas... on the one hand I think I may want to do it just to keep our spirits up.... on the other I may not see the point. But at the moment-I'm leaning towards decorating to the nines this year.
Lastly, I didn't do NaNoWriMo this year. I am, however, trying to finish one of my 4 books I'm writing. Wish me luck- and if I get it finished I'll let you know where to buy a copy when it's published.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. Til Next time, Yall!!
Sunday, August 12, 2018
I Want It The Way It Was.
I want things the way they were back in Mid-2004.
I say 2004 because everything seemed like it was so perfect back then. We had a few problems in our family, yes, but Daddy's cancer was in remission, my husband and son were still friends, and my youngest son was still alive. Our family seemed Charmed. Nothing really irreversibly bad had ever happened to us- other than losing our grandparents. Yes, we had had a couple of divorces but we all thought the worst life had to throw at us was over and done with.
How wrong we were. Late 2004 we realized that Daddy's cancer was back. That man fought like a demon to stay with us as long as he could- he tried every treatment- every drug they thought might help him beat that horrid disease but to no avail. Daddy lost the battle on September 24th, 2005.
That's when our family fell apart. Without our anchor we all began to drift. There wasnt a single member of our family that was spared. There was so many things that started going wrong. So many things. We were all lost in our grief. Then slowly it seemed like we were slowly regaining a bit of our footing- recognizing the path again- learning the signs Daddy would have looked for and pointed out to us. It seemed to be getting a bit easier going thru each day.
And then, on a hot August 26th 2007 early morning around 4am, there was a car in my driveway. It was my daughter in law and her mama. I opened the door and my daughter in law was holding onto a pillow. My original thought was oh dear their a/c went out. That was bad but we had a/c and they were more than welcome to camp out with us in the A/c'd living room. Which made no sense whatsoever now I think back on it because her mama had a big two-story 3 bedroom house a half mile from them, but at the time it did.
And then I kept looking out the door because Clay didn't show up but I thought he was listening to a song in the car which is sooo like me- I cant stop a song midway thru because it gets stuck n my head and he was like that too.
But then Mama J said "They was in an accident earlier tonight." Well, that's what I HEARD. It wasn't what she said tho. As Clay and that sweet girl had just found out a few weeks before that they were expecting their first baby, I immediately looked at my daughter in law and asked if she was okay. She just looked at me. I knew Clay had to be in the hospital and was thinking about how to be at the hospital with him and keep working to keep the bills paid- but never mind- I would figure it out and make it work no matter how long it took, so I started to grab my coat (yes- coat- hospitals are notorious for keeping the temps down in the Suitable For Penguins zone) and I asked "What hospital is he in?".
Mama J said something and I must have misheard her. I stopped and turned around and asked again- "Sorry, what hospital again? I didnt catch it."
My daughter in law started crying and her mama said, "I'm so sorry Vada, He didnt make it."
I know I cried out for my husband but I dont remember much after that except thinking Not my baby- Not My Clay.
Later on, I convinced Mama J to take Kathy home to rest and take care of herself and I told them I would tell his brother and sister. I didnt think she could take much more from the look of exhaustion and grief on her face and their baby must be protected at all costs.
So they did, and we did. Other than actually saying goodbye to him, that was the hardest thing I have ever done -telling them.
Things have gone downhill from there. Bickering in the family, unkind acts, stealing, drug abuse, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, unemployment, homelessness, going hungry, inability to be in a normal stable relationship, being afraid to let anyone you love out of your sight, constant worry, constant stress- always so afraid it's going to happen again. You snatch bits of happiness when you can, but always afraid to be too happy lest it attract the attention of bad luck ad someone else you love is taken from you.
We are trying to get on with our lives, but we mostly are making such a pigs ear of it.....
I need my Daddy to come back and fix all this. Like he always did.
I say 2004 because everything seemed like it was so perfect back then. We had a few problems in our family, yes, but Daddy's cancer was in remission, my husband and son were still friends, and my youngest son was still alive. Our family seemed Charmed. Nothing really irreversibly bad had ever happened to us- other than losing our grandparents. Yes, we had had a couple of divorces but we all thought the worst life had to throw at us was over and done with.
How wrong we were. Late 2004 we realized that Daddy's cancer was back. That man fought like a demon to stay with us as long as he could- he tried every treatment- every drug they thought might help him beat that horrid disease but to no avail. Daddy lost the battle on September 24th, 2005.
That's when our family fell apart. Without our anchor we all began to drift. There wasnt a single member of our family that was spared. There was so many things that started going wrong. So many things. We were all lost in our grief. Then slowly it seemed like we were slowly regaining a bit of our footing- recognizing the path again- learning the signs Daddy would have looked for and pointed out to us. It seemed to be getting a bit easier going thru each day.
And then, on a hot August 26th 2007 early morning around 4am, there was a car in my driveway. It was my daughter in law and her mama. I opened the door and my daughter in law was holding onto a pillow. My original thought was oh dear their a/c went out. That was bad but we had a/c and they were more than welcome to camp out with us in the A/c'd living room. Which made no sense whatsoever now I think back on it because her mama had a big two-story 3 bedroom house a half mile from them, but at the time it did.
And then I kept looking out the door because Clay didn't show up but I thought he was listening to a song in the car which is sooo like me- I cant stop a song midway thru because it gets stuck n my head and he was like that too.
But then Mama J said "They was in an accident earlier tonight." Well, that's what I HEARD. It wasn't what she said tho. As Clay and that sweet girl had just found out a few weeks before that they were expecting their first baby, I immediately looked at my daughter in law and asked if she was okay. She just looked at me. I knew Clay had to be in the hospital and was thinking about how to be at the hospital with him and keep working to keep the bills paid- but never mind- I would figure it out and make it work no matter how long it took, so I started to grab my coat (yes- coat- hospitals are notorious for keeping the temps down in the Suitable For Penguins zone) and I asked "What hospital is he in?".
Mama J said something and I must have misheard her. I stopped and turned around and asked again- "Sorry, what hospital again? I didnt catch it."
My daughter in law started crying and her mama said, "I'm so sorry Vada, He didnt make it."
I know I cried out for my husband but I dont remember much after that except thinking Not my baby- Not My Clay.
Later on, I convinced Mama J to take Kathy home to rest and take care of herself and I told them I would tell his brother and sister. I didnt think she could take much more from the look of exhaustion and grief on her face and their baby must be protected at all costs.
So they did, and we did. Other than actually saying goodbye to him, that was the hardest thing I have ever done -telling them.
Things have gone downhill from there. Bickering in the family, unkind acts, stealing, drug abuse, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, unemployment, homelessness, going hungry, inability to be in a normal stable relationship, being afraid to let anyone you love out of your sight, constant worry, constant stress- always so afraid it's going to happen again. You snatch bits of happiness when you can, but always afraid to be too happy lest it attract the attention of bad luck ad someone else you love is taken from you.
We are trying to get on with our lives, but we mostly are making such a pigs ear of it.....
I need my Daddy to come back and fix all this. Like he always did.
Friday, May 18, 2018
Gone Fishin'......
I wish.
No, this week has been a solo holiday for me. I havent went anywhere- I've stayed home and basically focused on me and whatever I want to do for ME.
I did a bit of house organization, I practiced a bit on my banjo hubby got me for our anniversary, and I did workouts and got my eating plan back in order. I haven't even mentioned or thought about the office(til now and this will be the last time til Monday).
Stress free- except for yesterday when I went into the back room and tried some organizing in there. That venture ended in tears. So, I did what any sane woman would do in that situation- I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me. Out of sight- out of mind. Hubby says he will try to sort out his part this weekend.... if I'm very very nice to him. I'm not sure what that involves, but if it gets that catastrophe of a room cleaned up and organized- I'm allll for it.
I feel refreshed and rejuvenated. My mind has been free to wander where it will. I've talked to family members without having to worry about cooking while I do it or what time it is or about having to go to bed because the alarm clock goes off very early in the morning. I sleep in (if I want to which has been about 50% of the time) if I want- I go to bed when I want and I take a nap 1n hour after I wake up if I want.
The only way it could have been better is if hubby was with me (He couldn't get off work because he's an I.T. guy and deeply involved in the run up to the office move next month)and we were booked into a cabin in the mountains beside a body of water- be it a river, a stream, a lake or pond- or even a pool or hot tub.
Of course, you cant fish in a pool or hot tub.
Ahhhh... well, Maybe next time.
No, this week has been a solo holiday for me. I havent went anywhere- I've stayed home and basically focused on me and whatever I want to do for ME.
I did a bit of house organization, I practiced a bit on my banjo hubby got me for our anniversary, and I did workouts and got my eating plan back in order. I haven't even mentioned or thought about the office(til now and this will be the last time til Monday).
Stress free- except for yesterday when I went into the back room and tried some organizing in there. That venture ended in tears. So, I did what any sane woman would do in that situation- I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me. Out of sight- out of mind. Hubby says he will try to sort out his part this weekend.... if I'm very very nice to him. I'm not sure what that involves, but if it gets that catastrophe of a room cleaned up and organized- I'm allll for it.
I feel refreshed and rejuvenated. My mind has been free to wander where it will. I've talked to family members without having to worry about cooking while I do it or what time it is or about having to go to bed because the alarm clock goes off very early in the morning. I sleep in (if I want to which has been about 50% of the time) if I want- I go to bed when I want and I take a nap 1n hour after I wake up if I want.
The only way it could have been better is if hubby was with me (He couldn't get off work because he's an I.T. guy and deeply involved in the run up to the office move next month)and we were booked into a cabin in the mountains beside a body of water- be it a river, a stream, a lake or pond- or even a pool or hot tub.
Of course, you cant fish in a pool or hot tub.
Ahhhh... well, Maybe next time.
Friday, April 27, 2018
I Think Not.
This afternoon we sit here in my humble abode- it's chilly and just a bit uncomfortable.
As he was reaching for the fleece throw, I asked the hubby why he didn't turn the heat on. He said because it's "expensive" and the only reason he was cold was because he had just "walked home in the cold rain from the dentist appointment." I thought about that answer- and asked him then why was I cold because I certainly did not walk home from work in the cold rain. He said that I was always cold and as an "American" I had no tolerance for mild discomfort.
I beg to differ.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact I may or may not be an "American".
It has to do with the fact that I have lived my entire life in some sort of discomfort. Getting up before the break of dawn to build a fire in the heater or fireplace to wash and dry my hair before going out in the cold to stand and wait on the school bus to spirit me away to a school that was almost equally as cold first thing in the morning..... And so my little brothers and sisters could get up into a decently warm house(or at least a warm kitchen and family room) instead of shaking and shivering the 30 minutes while waiting for the fire to be built and the room to get warm.
It comes from not having A/C most of my life- of sweating and being miserable in the heat and humidity of the Southern Summers. Of having to rely on a fan in the window to pull in a bit of whatever air was outside to at least get a breeze until we got ceiling fans for each room and of lying in the bed at night with our faces in the window because it was so hot at night in the summertime you couldn't breathe if you didn't.
It comes from the early adult lean years when every spare penny of my cash went to feeding and clothing my babies when we had next to nothing because of- circumstances. Of going door to door asking the neighbors if they needed any yard-work done and then working til dusk on my own while the babies played in the yard while I did it, because I needed to buy formula or diapers or clothes for my little ones because of-circumstances. Of buying pre-loved toys and making then like new for them for Christmas because I'd rather stay home with them and enjoy those precious moments making memories growing up than go to work and miss out of those moments and be able to buy a load of crap they wont remember when they grow up. Ask my kids what they remember about Christmas at our house- I've rarely heard them mention what they got except for just a couple of really special gifts- but they can tell you all about how things looked and smelled and sounded and how those things now remind them of their Christmases at home.
So no- it's most certainly not because I have no tolerance for discomfort- it comes from deprivation and hardships and struggle- and now that I am older and able to pay for those simple creature comforts- I fully intend to have them and never deprive myself of them again.
I've earned it- and refuse to have it any other way.
End Of.
As he was reaching for the fleece throw, I asked the hubby why he didn't turn the heat on. He said because it's "expensive" and the only reason he was cold was because he had just "walked home in the cold rain from the dentist appointment." I thought about that answer- and asked him then why was I cold because I certainly did not walk home from work in the cold rain. He said that I was always cold and as an "American" I had no tolerance for mild discomfort.
I beg to differ.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact I may or may not be an "American".
It has to do with the fact that I have lived my entire life in some sort of discomfort. Getting up before the break of dawn to build a fire in the heater or fireplace to wash and dry my hair before going out in the cold to stand and wait on the school bus to spirit me away to a school that was almost equally as cold first thing in the morning..... And so my little brothers and sisters could get up into a decently warm house(or at least a warm kitchen and family room) instead of shaking and shivering the 30 minutes while waiting for the fire to be built and the room to get warm.
It comes from not having A/C most of my life- of sweating and being miserable in the heat and humidity of the Southern Summers. Of having to rely on a fan in the window to pull in a bit of whatever air was outside to at least get a breeze until we got ceiling fans for each room and of lying in the bed at night with our faces in the window because it was so hot at night in the summertime you couldn't breathe if you didn't.
It comes from the early adult lean years when every spare penny of my cash went to feeding and clothing my babies when we had next to nothing because of- circumstances. Of going door to door asking the neighbors if they needed any yard-work done and then working til dusk on my own while the babies played in the yard while I did it, because I needed to buy formula or diapers or clothes for my little ones because of-circumstances. Of buying pre-loved toys and making then like new for them for Christmas because I'd rather stay home with them and enjoy those precious moments making memories growing up than go to work and miss out of those moments and be able to buy a load of crap they wont remember when they grow up. Ask my kids what they remember about Christmas at our house- I've rarely heard them mention what they got except for just a couple of really special gifts- but they can tell you all about how things looked and smelled and sounded and how those things now remind them of their Christmases at home.
So no- it's most certainly not because I have no tolerance for discomfort- it comes from deprivation and hardships and struggle- and now that I am older and able to pay for those simple creature comforts- I fully intend to have them and never deprive myself of them again.
I've earned it- and refuse to have it any other way.
End Of.
Thursday, April 12, 2018
The Tribe
Have you ever thought about your "Tribe"?
The women who support you?Well, I say women- but guys included sometimes.
Think about it.....
I have my Tribe. A core group that is larger than I thought it was... women who lift me up and support me and I know should I EVER need them for anything- they would BE there. No Questions asked- if I asked- they would come.
My list started out with a core few.
My Mom
My Sisters: Tee M & Valina M & my SIL Doris.
My Daughter and Daughter in laws: Julie H, Kathy R, & Marie H.(Even tho Marie isn't with my son anymore- I know I could count on her.) My Grand daughters- I have 4. Alyssa, Audriana, Bella and Katelynn.
My Best Friends: Rhonda B & Lisa B.
Then the Circle widens........
My Sister Friends... The chosen ones who are like a sister to me: Cece, Kimmy, Terry Topcat, Lois, Suzie Q, Stephi, Karen M, Sarah J, Kiki, Terry B, and Jennifer K.H, Mary, Ann, Martha, Joan, Pauline, Kath, Sarah, Yvonne
And the circle widens again: Lynn x 2, Linzi, Kerry, Stacey, Hope, Dessa, Mary Ann, Tina, And RIP HellKat.
The Guys...... Hubby, Frank, Thomas, Charlie, Edward, David, Anthony, Michael, James, Chris K, Chris B, TJ, Devon, CJ, Richard, Glenn, Bob x2, Dooley, Harry, RIP Clayton & Daddy
Okay, so that is my Core Tribe. the people I KNOW I can count on to be there when I need then.
61+ Strong-(since Daddy, Clay & Kat isn't here to participate but they are always in our hearts looking out for us.)
62+ if I count myself.
Now- That seems like a lot of Tribe, doesn't it?
Yet, that's not even close to my whole tribe.(& I know I left a few out- on purpose because they are more private than the rest of us.....)
Think of it. Each one of those people I named has their own core tribe- and each of those has their own core tribe.
How many tribe members do I have now? Thousands.
Its the ripple effect. The Circle widens with each person added.
You dont realize how very blessed you are til you think about it!!! You cant let those people down- and you have to be there to back them up when the call comes too.
That's a Lot of Love, people.
The women who support you?Well, I say women- but guys included sometimes.
Think about it.....
I have my Tribe. A core group that is larger than I thought it was... women who lift me up and support me and I know should I EVER need them for anything- they would BE there. No Questions asked- if I asked- they would come.
My list started out with a core few.
My Mom
My Sisters: Tee M & Valina M & my SIL Doris.
My Daughter and Daughter in laws: Julie H, Kathy R, & Marie H.(Even tho Marie isn't with my son anymore- I know I could count on her.) My Grand daughters- I have 4. Alyssa, Audriana, Bella and Katelynn.
My Best Friends: Rhonda B & Lisa B.
Then the Circle widens........
My Sister Friends... The chosen ones who are like a sister to me: Cece, Kimmy, Terry Topcat, Lois, Suzie Q, Stephi, Karen M, Sarah J, Kiki, Terry B, and Jennifer K.H, Mary, Ann, Martha, Joan, Pauline, Kath, Sarah, Yvonne
And the circle widens again: Lynn x 2, Linzi, Kerry, Stacey, Hope, Dessa, Mary Ann, Tina, And RIP HellKat.
The Guys...... Hubby, Frank, Thomas, Charlie, Edward, David, Anthony, Michael, James, Chris K, Chris B, TJ, Devon, CJ, Richard, Glenn, Bob x2, Dooley, Harry, RIP Clayton & Daddy
Okay, so that is my Core Tribe. the people I KNOW I can count on to be there when I need then.
61+ Strong-(since Daddy, Clay & Kat isn't here to participate but they are always in our hearts looking out for us.)
62+ if I count myself.
Now- That seems like a lot of Tribe, doesn't it?
Yet, that's not even close to my whole tribe.(& I know I left a few out- on purpose because they are more private than the rest of us.....)
Think of it. Each one of those people I named has their own core tribe- and each of those has their own core tribe.
How many tribe members do I have now? Thousands.
Its the ripple effect. The Circle widens with each person added.
You dont realize how very blessed you are til you think about it!!! You cant let those people down- and you have to be there to back them up when the call comes too.
That's a Lot of Love, people.
Sunday, February 11, 2018
Gadgets... and More Gadgets.
This morning I got up and turned the TV on while I tidied the living room- yes- it's the first thing I do in the mornings on weekends as hubby goes to bed AFTER I do and there is ALWAYS a bit of tidying to be done when I get up.
Do men even KNOW what a rubbish bin IS????
Anyway, I digress..... when the TV came on it was on a channel with an infomercial showing and as I wasn't watching I didn't bother to turn it off or change it over. Now, the infomercial for today was a newfangled gadget called a "pressure cooker".
I know- I know- those things have been around for many many MANY years, right?
Well, this one is even better. The Pressure King Pro 3L can cook a meal in under 30 minutes instead of an hour or two. It has a time delay on it(convenient for those of us who both work all day-and it has different settings for different foods.
AND it comes with a recipe book- AND it has three different sizes that you can choose from. (I'd go for the smallest size, personally, for me and hubby). And I do actually want one now. Not ANY pressure cooker- defo not a stove top one- THIS one. in silver.
My problem is- I have a postage stamp size kitchen. Anyone who has ever been to my house has thought I was joking when I said that- but when they see it- they see I most certainly am NOT. two people cannot be in my kitchen at the same time. Unless one stands in the doorway and even then it's kind of iffy.
Okay so anyway- I was playing MineCraft yesterday (I promise this is going to make sense in a very short time) and designing my kitchen in it- and I found myself designing it around what I have on my wish list for my real life kitchen.
I put in loads and loads of cabinetry in the top and bottom. Top ones had glass fronts to show off all my beautiful dishes- both old and new, and my glassware and stemware along with my brew mug sets. And let's not forget my baking sets and mixing bowls!
Yes- My fav place to relax is my kitchen baking.
I put in a pantry for all the foodstuffs and installed a MASSIVE fridge/freezer for cold foods. And I added a lovely DOUBLE sink.
Now the bottom cabinets were closed in- for saucepans and baking pans and casserole dishes and holiday serving pieces, and last but certainly not least- to house my growing set of cooking gadgets such as the one described in the infomercial.
I have the basics- a Kettle, toaster, hand mixer.
I also have a stand mixer, a more deluxe food/bread mixer with a dough arm, whisk and mixer attachments. I have a George Formby Grill(Thank you #PeterKay!!), a Bullet(type) Smoothie blender(it doubles as a food processor when I need something chopped), plus a slow cooker, and as an added bonus- an Air Fryer and I THINK we have a Panini maker too- I cant remember. And lets not forget that all important Microwave Oven!!!!
And all but the most basics are packed away because we have a kitchen the size of a POSTAGE STAMP!
The only thing I absolutely keep out that isnt basic is my smoothie blender because I use it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
And now to add insult to injury-I want the pressure cooker gadget now- and a WAFFLE iron!!!
Okay so-
Why do we even HAVE cookers/stoves anymore? And why are THEY still the standard in a kitchen when we have so many convenience appliances?
If you absolutely had to choose- would you choose to keep all the convenience gadgets or would you take a bog standard cooker/stove?
Decisions- Decisions.
Do men even KNOW what a rubbish bin IS????
Anyway, I digress..... when the TV came on it was on a channel with an infomercial showing and as I wasn't watching I didn't bother to turn it off or change it over. Now, the infomercial for today was a newfangled gadget called a "pressure cooker".
I know- I know- those things have been around for many many MANY years, right?
Well, this one is even better. The Pressure King Pro 3L can cook a meal in under 30 minutes instead of an hour or two. It has a time delay on it(convenient for those of us who both work all day-and it has different settings for different foods.
AND it comes with a recipe book- AND it has three different sizes that you can choose from. (I'd go for the smallest size, personally, for me and hubby). And I do actually want one now. Not ANY pressure cooker- defo not a stove top one- THIS one. in silver.
My problem is- I have a postage stamp size kitchen. Anyone who has ever been to my house has thought I was joking when I said that- but when they see it- they see I most certainly am NOT. two people cannot be in my kitchen at the same time. Unless one stands in the doorway and even then it's kind of iffy.
Okay so anyway- I was playing MineCraft yesterday (I promise this is going to make sense in a very short time) and designing my kitchen in it- and I found myself designing it around what I have on my wish list for my real life kitchen.
I put in loads and loads of cabinetry in the top and bottom. Top ones had glass fronts to show off all my beautiful dishes- both old and new, and my glassware and stemware along with my brew mug sets. And let's not forget my baking sets and mixing bowls!
Yes- My fav place to relax is my kitchen baking.
I put in a pantry for all the foodstuffs and installed a MASSIVE fridge/freezer for cold foods. And I added a lovely DOUBLE sink.
Now the bottom cabinets were closed in- for saucepans and baking pans and casserole dishes and holiday serving pieces, and last but certainly not least- to house my growing set of cooking gadgets such as the one described in the infomercial.
I have the basics- a Kettle, toaster, hand mixer.
I also have a stand mixer, a more deluxe food/bread mixer with a dough arm, whisk and mixer attachments. I have a George Formby Grill(Thank you #PeterKay!!), a Bullet(type) Smoothie blender(it doubles as a food processor when I need something chopped), plus a slow cooker, and as an added bonus- an Air Fryer and I THINK we have a Panini maker too- I cant remember. And lets not forget that all important Microwave Oven!!!!
And all but the most basics are packed away because we have a kitchen the size of a POSTAGE STAMP!
The only thing I absolutely keep out that isnt basic is my smoothie blender because I use it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
And now to add insult to injury-I want the pressure cooker gadget now- and a WAFFLE iron!!!
Okay so-
Why do we even HAVE cookers/stoves anymore? And why are THEY still the standard in a kitchen when we have so many convenience appliances?
If you absolutely had to choose- would you choose to keep all the convenience gadgets or would you take a bog standard cooker/stove?
Decisions- Decisions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)