My Birthday Week.... A Non-Fiction Post- the Short version.

 Well, this didnt happen the way we thought it would. 

My Someday 2 B ex celebrated his birthday MONTH. All Month. I'm not quite that ambitious- although maybe I should be. LOL

I only celebrate my Birthday Week.  And it was pretty good right up to the actual day of celebrations.

I actually took the day off and lost pay to do so- I felt I needed a fun mental health day and my birthday was the perfect reason to do so.

Well, the day before said day off- my boss needed me to cover a third shift post. sigh... so he let me leave early from first shift and I went home to get some rest before going back in at 11pm. 

My body said No. I might have gotten an hour total sleep time.  Got back to the site, worked all shift, then headed home. Nodded off at the wheel and bolted awake when I hit the "wakey-wakey-ridges" on the side of the pavement 4 times on the way home.  It was stupid of me not to pull over in a Dollar Gentral Parking lot to have a nap before carrying on. 

But I finally made it home. Yay- My Birthday- AND my day off!!!

My baby sister and I had planned to go out to brunch before she had to go home and get ready for work on 2nd shift. I laid down and slept the sleep of the dead for two hours before waking up and waiting on her to get there. Meanwhile, she was waiting for me to show up at HER house. Simple miscommunication that cost us our morning together. But she came up and brought me flowers and a bottle of my ready made cold brew before she went in to her shift. 

Meanwhile, my daughter had put on my fav dinner of Crockpot cube steak and gravy . She and my son and my granddaughter was planning on having dinner with me!!! My granddaughter made me a chocolate cake and we were going to have a green veggie and mashed potatoes with the cube steak.  YUMMM- I was so excited!!

Then my son's fiancée had to take their car to take her grandmother to the hospital to see HER son(Granny's, not Fiancée's) so that ran well into our dinner time plans. He finally called me and asked if I wanted to come pick him up, so I drove a half hour and got him. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my daughter had a blood sugar drop and ended up having to eat before me and son got back. Then once we got there my son got overheated and didnt feel up to eating either right away so I had to go ahead and eat by myself.(Granddaughter is an extremely picky eater(textures do her in) and she took one bite of the cube steak and went to make herself a sammich...smh)

Then my son got a call from fiancée saying she was stuck at the hospital with Granny and it would be after midnight before she was able to come by and pick him up. Son said he would walk back home because I was getting ready to go to sleep and had to be up at 4am to drive an hour to work for my normal first shift job. I was NOT going to let that man walk almost 30 miles after him refusing to let  my birthday go by without him coming to see me somehow-someway. 13 years with me in the UK and them being without me was the final straw for him.  So I insisted on driving him back home and drove myself back home and ended up back in bed at 1am. Up at 4:30am to be back at my job at half 6am.

Got to work   on Thursday(my busiest day coincidentally)and had a TON of things to do( lot of walking and driving back and forth) but I struggled thru and got it all done and then refused to drive any more the second half of the day.

Then I FINALLY got off work and drove to my bestie's house for my birthday dinner with her and one of my other long time sister/friends. Only our other friend had to cancel because she was feeling under the weather. Sigh.....

Picked up Reuben sammiches for me and bestie and opened her door and about cried. I put the food on the dining room table with out saying a word except the hi before I glanced around... then walked back to my car and went to park it in the visitors parking area- turned the car off and burst out crying.

She has lost all 3 of her sons, one to accidental OD one to S!c!de, and one to murder. She's also lost her Dad to Covid and her fiancée to a massive heart attack... all within the last 5 years. Her health is bad, she has awful vertigo and COPD and a bit of a weight issue- plus the added issues with mental health /Depression. Well, very recently she decided to adopt a tiny little puppy for company- even tho me and her mom tried, vigorously, to tell her with her health issues she wouldn't be able to take care of it and train it properly. Alas, she didnt pay the slightest bit of attention to our reasonings and got it anyway. 

And the whole house was destroyed. Puppy poop and pee all over the rugs, paper shredded over the entire house...my bezzie couldn't even take her trash out because when you open the door the little rascal zips out the door and is under your feet trying to trip you up. Not on purpose- she's just doing what untrained puppies do. But with Bezzie's health issues she couldn't manage to take the chance.(She lives very near a busy intersection)

Anyway, I cried for 15 minutes, then cleaned my face, put on my big girl panties and trudged back in to try to clean up in there a bit so I could eat without gagging and sit down to rest before I fell on my own face from exhaustion. It took an hour to clean up enough that I had a clear clean path to the bathroom as I was staying overnight there. While I was cleaning up I was honestly thinking about just going back home for the night although it was another hour and a half from her house to mine at that point. I couldn't just leave Bezzie there abruptly like that tho. It's not in my nature.

I don't know what to do about this situation. I know for a fact that Bezzie cant take care of her furry friend except to feed and water it, and I don't have the time or energy or resources to help her with it all. Nor do I have the slightest inclination to offer to do so if I'm perfectly honest. I have a cat- That is MINE to be responsible for- not the other 3 in my household that belong to other members of my family who also live there. And I'm not going to volunteer to take care of anyone else's pet either- no matter how much I love that person. I want to spend time with Bezzie- but not her pet. 

My problem is I'm literally stretched to my mental and physical and financial breaking point right now and ready to snap. I need to go stay somewhere that has NO PETS, but I honestly don't know a single soul that doesn't own at least one pet- and most own several of different species. Wait- I take that back- I DO know someone who doesnt have a pet- however- the DO have several unruly undisciplined kids which would be no mental rest at all........

 I know- I sound selfish don't I? I cant help it tho. I'm just exhausted and I need some downtime and I need it asap.

Thanks for letting me vent. Just that makes me feel a tiny bit less overwhelmed. And if anyone has any suggestions about the pet situation, please advise!!!! xx

Enough.....

 So I'm not greedy...or selfish...I share what I have with others who are trying to help themselves, just as others have helped me when I was trying but coming sorely short. 

I don't have high expectations- not from myself- nor from others. 

All I want in this life is Enough. 

Enough to be content. I don't care about over abundance. Over-abundance leads to complacency in my opinion.

I want enough money to pay my bills.

I want enough food in the house to keep my family from being hungry.

I want enough clothes to  keep me warm in the winter. In Summer clothes are an ...option. LOL Not really, but LESS so.

I want  enough work to keep all the above "enough(s)" going but not so much work that I don't have enough time to enjoy the rest of my life. 

I want enough privacy to have just a couple hours of quiet time occasionally to reflect on my life or pursue a hobby.

I also want enough family time to make precious memories for when the time comes that there wasnt  enough time left.

It's called Balance. 

We all need it- we all crave it. 

....And I haven't quite figured it out as precisely as I would like for it to be, but I'm getting there.

For the time-being,  I'm happy enough.

 

My Cup Runneth Over...... kinda.

 Okay, so in an office environment why is it considered to look unprofessional to have a fast food to-go cup on your desk in public view- and it not be the same for a coffee cup/mug?

Why is a mug more than acceptable- even encouraged and being seen as "hard-working and sensible adult" and a to-go fast-food cup with or without a straw being viewed as "immature"? 

I'm actually only posting about this because I realized I picked up a skewed view of the drinking utensils during my employment as an admin assistant when I was in England.

This morning I came in to my office, and hid my large McDonalds to-go cup of Sweet Iced Tea out of sight of the public and pulled out my coffee mug to put in easy reach and poured said sweet tea into the sensible mug. 

It's also acceptable to have those big travel mugs filled with the bevvie of your choice, but I rarely see someone over 35 using one of those. Mostly the "20 somethings". On my days off I usually will carry one, but I'm usually at home then and it's mainly to keep my cat Nu-Nu from sticking her paw in it- (She thinks anything I;m having must be shared with her- at least to try and I'm actively discouraging her from that. She's chubby...I mean "fluffy" enough as it is without her eating human food as well)

....I digress- sorry....

and even when I bring one of the travel mugs to work I tend to store those out of public view too. 

Is it just me doing this? What is up with that?

I must be getting eccentric in as I grow older. 

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 So today is my double shift day.

Working 16 hours, drive home 1 hour and 20 minutes, shower, sleep a couple hours, then drive the 1hr 20 min back to work another 8 hours.

Thinking I might just sleep in the car in the parking lot and get more sleep and save gas....not to mention not driving that long trip on country roads with only two hours sleep. 

                                      "I'm getting too old for this $#!+"

                                                           The Immortal Danny Glover

I cant remember the Movie Title but THAT QUOTE I will never forget.

How It Went and other Such Nonsense.....

 Well,  yesterday didnt go quite as planned. Took Maggie to her surgery and although she drives much better- the rattling issue is still there. Mechanic said he didnt have time to complete that part of the problem and explained what was needed to fix it. I'll have to to reschedule another surgery to finish up. That's fine- I'll do whatever it takes to fix her issues. I need another mental health day anyway tbh.

She's a GREAT little car. So spending a couple hundred dollars to fix her isn't too much to ask. 

After I finish getting her stable, I can do some weekend work on my Ford Ranger. Me any my son are going to take that on as a project and really do it up right. 

Now Maggie is a brilliant Marine Blue color at present, and The Ranger is an Emerald or Forest green, but I'm thinking seriously about having Maggie repainted a beautiful Deep Candy Apple or Christmas Red. Her interior is all charcoal and black, so it would be relatively easy to change her to red. I'm not so sure about painting the Ranger red- it's green now and even the interior dash and door panels and such are green, so it may stay that color. You sure would be able to pick my house out around the holidays....or anytime to be honest!!! Right???

I know both are in dire need of some TLC- the Ranger much more than Maggie. 

Hey, but back to yesterday- Me and my sister rode to Hartwell to look at a piece of property she's been eyeing for a few weeks. I think it would be perfect for her. (And me as my second home). LOL.... Since I've moved back home she's looked out for me like she's my second mom- and to be honest, SHE got the ball rolling so I was able to come back home(along with my Baby Brother). I have the best siblings in the history of siblings!!!

Anyway, on the way home- we spotted a DAIRY QUEEN!!!!! I don't know of but one other one in the entire area. They are a blast from the past. I thought they were all but extinct by now- but apparently not!!!!! And  they have REALLY good fast(ish) food!!! O. M. Gosh!!!!

We stopped there for lunch and I got a 4 piece Chicken Strips Basket with fries and a MOCHA MOO-Latte!!!!

I hadn't had one of those in about 15 years and when I say I was in HEAVEN- you better believe it!!

My waistline is prob mad at me- but it can just Suck it UP(or IN in this case) for one day.

Is anyone Celebrating Lent? I'm considering it even tho I'm not of the Catholic religion.  I'm spiritual, and try lots of practices of different faiths sometimes just because I think it's interesting to learn about those type things. But is it realistic to think I can do it?-  because next Wednesday is my Birthday!!!  I'm not sure I have that kind of discipline on my Birthday or Christmas either ...unless it's a matter of life or death.

Anyway.... I reckon that's it for todays blathering. LOL..

See y'all next time!!!

Surgery Tomorrow and Other News.

 Maggie goes under the wrench tomorrow for some much needed work.

I'm taking her in to the auto shop early and praying they can have her ready to go by end of the day so I won't lose another days work. 

I'm actually not losing my hours tho- one of my teammates has agreed to work for me and pull a double shift tomorrow if I return the favor on Thursday.  Only bad thing about it is I will be pulling a double and then doing what is termed a "Turn and Burn". Pull a late shift(or in my case a double shift) working until 11p, drive an hour and 20 mins home to sleep a couple hours, then get back up at 4 to drive another hour and 20 mins back to work to be there by 6:30am. Imma be a zombie by the time Friday is done.

BUT- next week I will have Wednesday off for my birthday. Said buddy wants to do the double thing again, but I honestly don't think I'm up to doing that mess two weeks in a row. Boss already has my shift covered for my day off, so I think we just going to leave it at that. I need a mental health day anyway.

So Valentines weekend was mostly quiet. Friday I got a yellow rose from my daughter and granddaughter, and chocolates from my son. I slept in on Sunday, but Saturday saw me and my daughter and granddaughter going to Easley to the old homeplace to pick up a couple of things, then on the drive home we stopped at a couple of Mobile Home Sales lots and did a bit of comparison shopping and when we got home- Numbers Crunching.

I'm all for the family compound thing, Just me and her and my son. Daughter wants a ready made home- I want something I can redo- a shed, a shipping container, a old school bus.....I can work  and make anything a livable home. It just takes hard work and imagination. I have no idea what son would prefer- but we do need our own space. And my Number ONE Goal in my life is to own my own home/property before I die. So we can start with one thing and go from there.

Somehow- Someway- I'm going to make that happen.

Continuation of Valentines Post....

  ....My previous post was about Valentines Day.....

This post is inspired by Evan 's post.....

I totally agree with all he said- every single word, especially the part about it being a forced commercial holiday(I paraphrased a bit)- Go read his post- he said it much more eloquently than I could. 

I realized that holiday for what it was early on after I was married. 

First Husband and I were broke young adults and lord knows prices get jacked up on gifts of all kinds on ESPECIALLY Valentines Day and Mothers Day and almost as badly on Easter, Halloween and Christmas. (I've never quite understood why Fathers day seemed to be the exception to the rule on all that but it certainly seems that way to me.(I ramble- Sorry)....  So neither of us was upset if we couldn't afford to get each other anything.

Second Husband-  Still young and raising my kids and he brought me gifts on random days so if we forgot Valentines Day we didnt even notice...He only asked for his favorite meal with all the trimmings which I could usually make happen anyway, but gifts didnt make up for him being mean to my kids. Package deal buddy- you knew that before you married me. I think if he had been able to have a child it would have softened him, but he couldn't, so we will never know.  To his credit- he has apologized over and over and still holds hope that someday we might possibly get back together, but I'm 1000% positive that will not happen. We can be civil to each other but it's too much water under that bridge to go any further.

Third Husband- Gave me expensive jewelry every single Valentines Day and Christmas. He was a Trust Fund Baby. But to him giving me expensive gifts made up for being a total control freak(in HIS mind- not in mine.)  There was a "Final Straw " moment -coincidentally on our last Valentines Day that I may or may not talk about one day but that's for another day. *(I feel I can openly and honestly write about some of the things that happened with #1 & #3 -  Their families have forgotten about me and the husbands themselves I have outlived plus I don't get too detailed- just generalities that might help me work thru some of my real life issues- like the one I mentioned with #2...... and I don't mention names or get graphic- privacy does matter still to some of us in this day and age....)

Fourth Husband-Felt the same way about Valentines Day as I do- thinks it's over commercialized and socially expected. I cannot complain about his gifts and cards on Holidays. Impeccable taste. Sometimes we would do Valentines Day- sometimes we wouldn't- usually if we saw something we wanted we would buy it no matter what day it was and say-  consider this my Christmas gift- or Valentines gift- and it worked for us.  

 I sometimes wonder if someone actually does give me a gift - are they doing it because they actually feel some kind of way or is it out of a sense of Social pressure? Like those hated elementary cards Evan spoke of - honestly I hated them for the exact same reasons he did....and also I had the same method for distribution ...lol- great minds think alike, eh, Evan??  

My birthday is eleven days after Valentines Day and call it vanity- but I would MUCH rather have someone remember and celebrate THAT day rather than a socially forced holiday- no matter WHICH holiday it is. 

All those things you mentioned Evan are what I (and what we ALL should )consider the most important love offerings- the togetherness- watching a movie, going for a Sunday drive, holding hands, snuggles and laughter- and what my yesterdays post was about was My Very First Honestly Romantic Gesture- it was so simple and understated  and perfect.....and it came from my sandy brown haired boy who set the bar high in so many ways. 

"Firsts" are a very important part of our lives.