Getting Better @ Life...

I sit here reflecting on my life so far, and I have to ask myself- Am I Getting Better at Life?

I think in some areas I am.... I'm a bit more cautious about taking on challenges, but if it's something I am determined to do, I certainly will take it on.

I have improved my housekeeping skills most certainly. I'm not sure why I thought that my partner and i would share all the responsibilities in our lives- call me naive or whatever, but when I was young I always thought that if a couple married or lived together- Life would be a big party of getting up together, going to our jobs, coming home and sharing cooking duties and taking care of the kids- swapping off chores- and during the weekends, sharing yard work, doing projects around the house and having a blissful time. The American Dream, right? And when things didn't go the way I thought all my life that they would, I balked and went on strike. Why was I doing all the housework and keeping the cars up and the yard-work when I had a partner that was just as capable as me?
Yeah- since then I've learned that's not the way it works. The way it actally works is- You get up, go to work, come home and then the woman works her ass off while partner gets a much deserved rest with his feet propped up for the rest of the evening.
At the moment I'm not working at a paying job- and doing most of the housework only seems fair- for now. But before this husband- my partners would do absolutely DICK ALL around the house. No matter I was working too- The house was MY responsibility- as were the kids(fair enough- they were MY kids after all and ultimately my total responsibility), but the cars and the the home repairs and remembering where everything is and always being responsible for knowing where everything is at all times- all the shopping- ME.
I dont know- but I'm pretty darned sure I didnt get married to have another child to look after- I got married because I loved and trusted that my partner would stand BY me- not sit down and let me carry the entire loads while he supervised and I highly suspect that's why those relationships didnt work out longer than a few years.
Present hubby and I have been married for 15 years come May and known each other for 20 come October. I'm not sure it's because it's that perfect or if it's because I finally decided to just live my life as tho I was alone on a deserted island and it is all up to me- but some things are taken care of by a magic helper. Either way, I'm happier with the status quo...He goes off to a job every day(until I get working- then we both will again), he pays the bills, I ask him once in a while to take out the bin bags and he does at least one load of laundry every weekend and hoovers occasionally without me even having to ask for help. He takes care of his G-pig (That was the deal tho- I didn't want a rodent as a pet but told him if he wanted one he was going to be SOLELY responsible for it all- cleaning the cage, bathing it, feeding and watering it. I dont like it- I dont go near it- except if he's laying in the cage and I think he might have died- That's happened twice to me- and yes I cried and once even had to call hubby home from work to take care of it cause I was so upset. I may not like them, but I do get sad when anything dies- even throwing out a dead plant upsets me.) If anything NEEDS doing and I need help- I know I can count on hubby to do it if I ask for help. I do try to be as self sufficient as possible tho. And while I'm not working I look for jobs and I keep the house tidy and I have his dinner waiting(or close to being done) when he comes in from work. We are good together. That part of my life is on point.
Some Other Areas, not so much.
I'm not living the healthiest lifestyle I could be. I do try to cook healthily, I know for a fact, tho, I don't get nearly the activity I need to during the day. I do a workout for at least 30 minutes a day- but I should do double that at least. I imagine I would be able to shift this weight if I did- and I will try to do as soon as the weather gets better over here where I live. Right now we have gale force winds and lashing rain and temps still near freezing so I'm not chancing going out and breaking my foot in 3 places again like I did a few years back. I visit the doctor way too often as it is without adding to it. I'm overweight, I have high blood pressure, I'm in the Type 2 Diabetic range and am hypoglycemic, I have arthritis in my hips and leg joints and I have gawd awful migraine headaches that put me in bed for a couple of days at a time. But I'm working on getting all that under control.

I have good relationships with all my family members- ACED that one!!

I have lots of interests. I bake, crochet, draw, paint, love to decorate, re-arrange furniture, craft, sew, do flower arrangements, I do a bit of photography now and then, and am learning to speak Italian and to play the banjo.
I love to write- I have three blogs and presently am working on writing four books- all in progress at the moment. I also have accounts with Facebook in which I admin several groups and pages, along with an account with Insta, Twitter and Snapchat -altho I rarely use the Insta or Snapchat.

I try to keep as busy as possible because I also have serious depression. Brought on by several things. I lost my dad and my son within less than two years of each other. I've lost a home- one that was custom built to my specifications- and that incident contributed to some pretty serious trust issues in my life for sure....I've lost a job recently- from the first and only company I could see myself retiring from(but that wasn't meant to be, apparently). And I'm having a much more difficult time of finding another job than I thought I would. I'm 3500 miles away from my family-I really only have one friend over here and I dont drive anymore. I also lost two of my "adopted sons"-they were actually my best friend's sons who were as much as part of my family as a blood family member. I've known them since they were born and all our kids grew up together side by side like siblings.

I'm becoming a hermit.There are days I dont want to get out of bed- and sometimes I just dont. There are times I dont feel like talking with anyone- and some days I dont. There are some days I cry all day- And there are some days I just want to give up..... just go to sleep and never wake up- but on those days- I force myself to get up and do something- anything, because otherwise I know I'm lost.
I tell myself I am Strong- that this is NOT the worst day I have ever had- And I can make it thru this one- just like I did yesterday and the day before. And I will tomorrow. I am Goddess. I am Valkyrie. I am the daughter of strong people. I have a strong support system, people who love and care and will "talk me off the ledge", so to speak.
And so I go on. One foot in front of the other...

So....... in the grande scheme of things- I'd have to say yes- I am getting better at life... or at least working my way round it's obstacles.

And that's good enough- for now.
  

Basic Necessities.

There are  certain things I think every woman should own. Just because at some point in her life- she will come across a situation she will need them....

First let's go with the classics.

Jewellery
*A set of  pearls. Necklace and earrings in whatever style she likes. I personally own a baseline Just around the base of the neck) necklace and a set of pearl stud earrings. I also have a cage of 4  my sister gave me along with aforementioned earrings and I LOVE them. They are simple, elegant, and classic. Most girls in the South gets their first string of pearls when they turn Sweet 16 for that exact reason.
*At least one statement piece of Turquoise and silver jewelry of her choice. It pairs well with casual wear such as jeans and a casual top as well as wearing well with a business suit. I personally am still looking for my piece.
* A solitaire gemstone in the setting of her choice-either a ring, necklace, bracelet, or earrings. Perhaps a set of any combination or all of the set. Some women prefer Diamonds, some prefer other precious stones such as Sapphires, or Rubies, or Emeralds. Some ladies prefer semi-precious stones such as Amethyst or Topaz, or maybe they prefer Opals or Pearls or Onyx. Whatever their preference- that's what they should choose to have.

Clothing
*An LBD. Also LBPS. For those of us who are a bit behind in the times, an LBD=Little Black Dress & LBPS=Little Black Pant Suit. I have both. I also have them in Navy Blue. I pair the LBPS with a white or cream top(I have both) or in the winter I will sometimes pair them with a Black turtleneck.
*Blue Jeans and a white tee shirt. Dont hand me any line about after a certain age women shouldn't wear jeans-I call BS.
*A pair of LOUNGING pajamas. Whatever  style and texture you like. I personally like a fuzzy fluffy fleece set for winter and a silky set for warmer months. Some ladies like pure cotton. To each their own. The idea is to have a set you are UBER comfortable in to lounge around and relax.
*An outfit that flatters your figure and makes you feel like a MILLION BUCKS. It could be for dinner out- for a party- for going to the club or for a job interview. Just just have to have it.
* A Valkyrie Outfit. It's the outfit you wear when you want to feel invincible and bulletproof. This outfit could be anything from an LBD to a RED Body-con dress or a black leather outfit. or a hot bikini. I wouldn't advise wearing that one to an office meeting tho. Or maybe you would- who knows. You be YOU.
*A long flowing dress.  Every woman needs one for those scorching summer days.

Shoes
Okay this may be debatable. But please keep in mind I am putting a BASICS list together.
*A white or cram pair of heels.
*A black or grey pair of heels.
*A Navy pair of court pumps
*A Pair of RED heels
*A pair of white or black sneakers/trainers
*A pair of Western boots
*A pair of Sandals- some women like Gladiators, some like Birkenstock, some like Flip-flops(altho I wouldn't consider them sandals, per se.)
*A pair of house slippers.

Cosmetics
* A pressed powder compact, mascara and lippy colour of your choice. Also a QUALITY set of nail clippers and a pair of Revlon Tweezers.

Cook-wear
I know there is a LOT of stuff out there to choose from, but the most important things for a kitchen are...
*A Cast Iron Skillet.
*A good set of knives
*A good set of Saucepans
*A coffeepot
*A toaster
Everything else is negotiable.
Small Appliances I would  suggest as basic additions besides the toaster and coffeemaker would be a slow cooker and microwave. Possibly an Air fryer too. Time savers, stress savers, (and waist savers, too).

Furniture
*A Bed & TWO bedside tables
*A small sofa
*A dresser or chest of drawers
*Either a Small dining table or a coffee table suitably big for casual dining
*A Vanity/Dressing table
*A Bookshelf or Display Unit.

Misc...
*A Passport
*A Bank account in her own name
*A Driving License
*A way to make money and be independent
*A small tool kit. Hammer- Flat head and Phillips head screwdrivers, a small hacksaw and an adjustable wrench to start off with.
*An Emergency Cash envelope with a hundred pounds/Dollars in it that is IMMEDIATELY accessible at any time of day or night without having to stop at a cash-point.

Most Importantly
*At least ONE friend who is more like a sister than a friend.

It's a OCD Thang...

Get up, use bathroom, wash hands, wipe down sink after washing hands, then washing hands again to get any germs off that you might have picked up washing sink after washing hands.  Walk out of bathroom closing door behind yourself. Go to the bedroom and make bed. Gather clothes around the bed return to the bathroom and put on a load of laundry. Leave the bathroom, closing door behind you because the washer and dryer are loud and annoying.
Enter Kitchen, wipe down kitchen counters, fill kettle, wash up dishes and wipe out sink while waiting for kettle to boil(or on rare occasions-coffee to drip).... wash hands again and rinse out sink- again.
Grab favorite coffee mug, add one teaspoon instant coffee, one scoop of Coffee-Mate(No- other brands are NOT the same thing), and sometimes add one scoop of sugar. Add hot water to exactly 2/3 full and stir. Open fridge and add milk to fill mug to full. Put milk back in fridge , close fridge door, wipe counters down again, pick up full coffee mug and head to the living room.

Straighten up tabletops, gather empty chip bags and vape juice bottles and wrappings from hubby dropping them before heading out the door for work. Put everything in it's proper place in living room, gather cups and glasses and any snack plates and bring to kitchen and put in sink.
 Return to living room and dust.

Sit down, apply for jobs on the internet while drinking coffee.

Get up, transfer clothes to dryer and turn on.  Go out and close door.

Make another cup of coffee. EXACTLY the same way.

Hoover. Everything. Center of the room, edges of the room, under everything, in things.

Doing all the things.... all the day. Over and over and over.

Then going around behind anyone who comes into the house reminding them to pick up after themselves, wipe things up if they make messes and put things away- and dont forget to close the door behind you.

We know we're annoying- we annoy ourselves, but imagine what a messed up world we would live in if we wasn't so annoying - and vigilant.

Day 1- 2019

Well, 2019 has finally arrived.

I'm so glad that 2018 is over and done with- I was so done with it. 2018 is one of the most miserable in several years past and I really dont care to have a repeat of it.
None of that "New Year-New Me" stuff, tho. For me it's just going to be a year where I try to do better than last year in all areas of my life.
I'm going to try to eat healthier- but not diet per se- just make better choices in my way of cooking and eating.
I'm defo going to get out and exercise more- -I know this for sure because I'm out and about a couple times a week job hunting. Plus, housekeeping has been in my routine every afternoon and that is about 50x more active than my old job of sitting at a desk all day, coming home and ordering a delivery dinner and watching telly until time for bed, and only catching up on housekeeping on the weekends.
I rang in the new year at home with my hubby and we kissed at midnight and yes- I raised my left foot a second before midnight so I would start 2019 on the right foot.

There's a slight possibility I might be a little bit superstitious.

But that's it. I got nothing else for now.

Too Much Too Soon

Well that lasted all of almost 3 days. 

What a Difference a Day Makes

Well, two days on and I am now gainfully employed.

Sunday afternoon just 5 minutes after posting my last blog post, I got an alert on my phone for a "Room Attendant" position at the Country House hotel literally 500 yards(maybe even less) from my front door.
WTHeck? I asked. WHY aren't they CALLING me?.... for you see, I had submitted my CV(Resume) TWICE for positions there already in the past two months. I also had went in person just last week to be told that all hiring was done via interwebs.
Now- I was a bit upset at this point- so I decided to go a step further. I looked up the phone number of the hotel and the next morning at 9AM sharp I cold called them...and, of course, I got a recording of my options- but one of the options (5) was to get thru directly to housekeeping. Hmmmmm.... So I pushed 5.
A very nice lady named Jayne answered and I explained who I was and that I understood they were hiring for Room Attendants position. She confirmed and so I went on that I had submitted my CV already on the website and that I had worked with a cleaning company in the states, and that I lived only a few hundred yards from their establishment. (Literally if a major league baseball pitcher stood on my back stoop he could probably hit the  hotel with a baseball.) and I asked if there was anything she could recommend to me so I could get an interview and possibly come work at their lovely Country House Hotel.
She asked if I could come in  for an interview the next morning  at 10am and of course I said yes, indeed I could.
So I hung up- thrilled to have a face to face interview at last- and then I colored my hair and applied a gel peeling cucumber face mask and relaxed a bit.
This morning I walked over- it took far less time than I thought it would so I arrived about 20 minutes earlier than my appointment time- and so I sat down to wait after letting reception know who I was there to see.
I took in the loveliness of the place... all the rich, dark wood and the polished brass and colorful red and gold carpeting.... real old world charm it has- AND as an added bonus- it was already decorated for Christmas!! I was in Heaven!
Well, Jayne then came out and introduced herself and we chatted a bit. She told me about the position, asked me a few questions and we chatted about this and that- and before I knew it almost 45 minutes had passed and she asked if I would like the position and when I would like to start.. so I said Monday? and she said "Be here at 7AM and I will meet you and get your uniform and your paperwork done and you can get with Amelia to start your training! LOVELY!!!"
It's 30-40 hours a week at minimum hourly wage, but it's an active job not sitting at a desk for 9 hours a day and the people I will be working with seemed very nice, too.
So, I walked home (or was it floated) on Cloud 9- happy as a lark to have landed the job I first applied for and that was my very first choice in  jobs after leaving my former employer. 

This is what happens when you put it in God's hands and let him follow HIS plan instead of trying to force YOUR plan into action. Sometimes God has the same plan as you do- but he does it in HIS time-frame, not yours. So, I am gainfully employed again- Praise Jesus! Amen!!

No Such Luck

Well, almost two months on and I'm still looking for paid employment.I was hoping to land a job within a month of losing my old one, but no such luck. I was also praying for even a smallish lottery win. Also no such luck.

I've submitted hundreds of applications and only have a handful of phone interviews to show for it.

Starting to get very frustrated. The Christmas Holidays are upon us and this couldnt be much more depressing than it is. I cant afford gifts for my family... I might be able to scrape together enough change to send them all a bulk package of Christmas Cards. And it's killing me. This is the first Christmas in their LIVES I haven't been able to give them ANYTHING..... What a sad state of affairs I have let myself get into.

All I can do this year is just keep on keeping on and pray something comes my way soon. Maybe decorating the house will make me feel a bit better...or make me feel a whole lot worse. It's a toss up at the moment.
The day before yesterday I was feeling low and depressed. Yesterday I was feeling really up and optimistic... Today I am feeling so depressed about it all I just want to go back to bed and cry.

Praying that next Christmas will be sooo much better than this one.

Damn any company that lets an employee go just before Christmas. Unless they deserve it- and I defo did NOT deserve to be let go like that. I'm pissed off. I'm also disappointed. I actually foresaw myself retiring from that company in a few years. It's the first time I actually could see myself staying with a company for long term.
Yeah- I whined about the job being so stressful, but only after they added another role into my already full job. If they hadn't added that on I could have happily stayed on for the rest of my working life. I hope they are proud of themselves- they lost a damn good employee.