Continuation of Valentines Post....

  ....My previous post was about Valentines Day.....

This post is inspired by Evan 's post.....

I totally agree with all he said- every single word, especially the part about it being a forced commercial holiday(I paraphrased a bit)- Go read his post- he said it much more eloquently than I could. 

I realized that holiday for what it was early on after I was married. 

First Husband and I were broke young adults and lord knows prices get jacked up on gifts of all kinds on ESPECIALLY Valentines Day and Mothers Day and almost as badly on Easter, Halloween and Christmas. (I've never quite understood why Fathers day seemed to be the exception to the rule on all that but it certainly seems that way to me.(I ramble- Sorry)....  So neither of us was upset if we couldn't afford to get each other anything.

Second Husband-  Still young and raising my kids and he brought me gifts on random days so if we forgot Valentines Day we didnt even notice...He only asked for his favorite meal with all the trimmings which I could usually make happen anyway, but gifts didnt make up for him being mean to my kids. Package deal buddy- you knew that before you married me. I think if he had been able to have a child it would have softened him, but he couldn't, so we will never know.  To his credit- he has apologized over and over and still holds hope that someday we might possibly get back together, but I'm 1000% positive that will not happen. We can be civil to each other but it's too much water under that bridge to go any further.

Third Husband- Gave me expensive jewelry every single Valentines Day and Christmas. He was a Trust Fund Baby. But to him giving me expensive gifts made up for being a total control freak(in HIS mind- not in mine.)  There was a "Final Straw " moment -coincidentally on our last Valentines Day that I may or may not talk about one day but that's for another day. *(I feel I can openly and honestly write about some of the things that happened with #1 & #3 -  Their families have forgotten about me and the husbands themselves I have outlived plus I don't get too detailed- just generalities that might help me work thru some of my real life issues- like the one I mentioned with #2...... and I don't mention names or get graphic- privacy does matter still to some of us in this day and age....)

Fourth Husband-Felt the same way about Valentines Day as I do- thinks it's over commercialized and socially expected. I cannot complain about his gifts and cards on Holidays. Impeccable taste. Sometimes we would do Valentines Day- sometimes we wouldn't- usually if we saw something we wanted we would buy it no matter what day it was and say-  consider this my Christmas gift- or Valentines gift- and it worked for us.  

 I sometimes wonder if someone actually does give me a gift - are they doing it because they actually feel some kind of way or is it out of a sense of Social pressure? Like those hated elementary cards Evan spoke of - honestly I hated them for the exact same reasons he did....and also I had the same method for distribution ...lol- great minds think alike, eh, Evan??  

My birthday is eleven days after Valentines Day and call it vanity- but I would MUCH rather have someone remember and celebrate THAT day rather than a socially forced holiday- no matter WHICH holiday it is. 

All those things you mentioned Evan are what I (and what we ALL should )consider the most important love offerings- the togetherness- watching a movie, going for a Sunday drive, holding hands, snuggles and laughter- and what my yesterdays post was about was My Very First Honestly Romantic Gesture- it was so simple and understated  and perfect.....and it came from my sandy brown haired boy who set the bar high in so many ways. 

"Firsts" are a very important part of our lives.