It's been a rough month and I haven't been very consistent with my blogging, but I will try to do better in future.
Went to the lake this weekend. Stayed in the water just long enough to take a quick dip and cool off...then sat in the shade watching my two kids and my youngest granddaughter splash around until they decided to get out. Was there a grand total of about two and a half hours, and I still got crispy fried because my meds I'm on make me super sun-sensitive. Even in the shade as I found out. Even tho I'm in misery right now- it was more than worth it to just be able to create more memories with my loved ones. I'd give anything to have the same opportunity to do the same with all my grandkids before my time comes. Plus- my daughter now wants to find a place with a pool- or us get a pool when we move to our own property. I'm 100% in agreement.
Silver Lining of the sunburn..... It looks super impressive against my brilliant white uniform shirts!!! Hahahahahaha.....
So, our house hunt/job hunt continues. So far nothing just right has come along. It will tho. God has a plan- we just have to have patience. In the meantime, my granddaughter will start as a high school Freshman at the high school in the county we live in now instead of the one we want her to graduate from. (Easley- it's a Family Tradition).... she's excited to be a highschooler no matter where it is. Her ADHD meds are working miracles for her. Thank God for the Blessings.
One of my Blogger friends, Spo , asked in his post today- or maybe yesterday- at what moment did you realise your adulthood? I gave him my response, but thinking on it- do we ever really actually believe we are adults- or are we perpetually children waiting for that moment to go on like a light bulb in our heads and then we have all the adult answers to all our adult problems? I know I'm adult- with adult problems that I have to solve, but in my heart of hearts I probably still be that child faking it until that light bulb goes on....Oh how I would love to go back to being a child- if only there wasnt all my little loved ones that I wouldn't be able to bring back with me.....
And speaking of aging....
...I just don't know about this..... So when I first moved back home I lost a load of weight and got a makeover and was told by quite a few ppl that I really looked good for my age. I've always looked younger than my actual age- up until about 10 years ago I still got carded when I would order a drink when I was out to dinner or at the ABC store to buy a bottle of wine or vodka. But in the last year I seem to have aged about 10 years. I'm not even joking. How is that even possible? Is it stress of having all the responsibility on my shoulders? That's the only thing I can think of that has changed for me.... Granted I did move 3x in the past two years, I left the man I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with because ..Reasons..... But you wouldn't think that would cause that kind of radical aging... or would it? It is what it is. I don't suppose it is logical to think staying younger looking would last forever- or until I turned 80 or 90... but I do wish I hadn't gotten looking better to have it ebb away so quickly either. That's a big ole danggggg wtheck in my book. I mean I'm defo not looking for another relationship- I don't think EVER again- but I would like to look decent just for photographs sake. LOL... Vain? Maybe- but I do have a little pride left even tho my ex-partners have tried to grind that confidence of mine down to nothing. Nice Try Guys- I'm stronger than you realise.
I'm still trying to get my schedule worked out so I can finish my books. I want to work on three of them for sure. One of them-Hunter's Revenge- I have to be in a certain state of mind to write, and I seem to have lost the biggest part of my rage for that one. I haven't worked on it for about 5 years. I've mainly been working on the story loosely based on my Daddy and on my Memoirs at this point- and hoping I get that one finished before I leave this world. If it's left unfinished, my family is gonna have a LOT of questions unanswered. LOL And that's why I started it to begin with. I wanted them to see I wasn't just Mama or Sis, I want them to know I have lived a full life, full of happiness and sadness and lots of cherished memories of them all.
I just want a simple life.... and I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.
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