Not to mention BUSY!!!
I've had a bout of illness this week. It wasn't COVID (I took a test), but it might have been a nasty case of the flu- or possibly a tummy bug that has been plaguing this area for a couple of months now.
So, I went back to work Friday and then had yesterday off to ease back into my work routine again. Today I go in for my 12-hour shift from 6p tonight to 6a Monday morning, then come home, catch a few hours' sleep before having to return to work at 2pm on Monday afternoon until 10p that night.
I'm doing these extra 12 hour shifts here and there because I have a plan.
As some of my friends know, I have been looking for a place of my own. Not to RENT, a little patch of land to buy and own. I thought surely I would have that by this stage of my life, but it seems my exes had other goals in mind.
#1- he never grew up- he wanted to squander his money on partying with his friends (his treat, of course) rather than provide a future for his little family. I put his belongings out and told him it was over. My kids were not going to do without while he and his friends lived high on the hog. I mean when you have to resort to stealing(but is it REALLY) most of what's left out of his wallet after he staggers in drunk and high on Sunday night and passes out, just so you can feed and clothe your kids, I think the dream is over.
#2- he couldn't have children and after marrying him I realized that he resented mine. Sorry, but he knew I had kids when we married and that was a dealbreaker. I walked away.
#3- he was a very secretive control freak- had loads of money thru a trust fund but was so bad at managing it he had to go thru his mommy to do anything with it. He did manage to have us a home built on our first anniversary. We both had good jobs and split the bills, he only had to pay for the house mortgage, and his auto insurance (his car was paid off) and any weekend trips we took instead of a long two weeks vacations. I paid for my kids everything (I didn't get child support at my own request for reasons), my car payment and auto insurance, groceries, utilities and all gifts (B-day and Christmas except his to me) ... had the house a year and a half and then came home early while he was at a staff meeting and my kids handed me a piece of paper that the sheriff had delivered just before I walked in the door. I had actually passed by him as he left the subdivision as I turned in 3 minutes before. It was a foreclosure notice- a FINAL NOTICE stating we had 10 days left. I guess he had managed to intercept the two before it to keep me in the dark. So that was the end... he refused to let me see any financial records nor would he discuss the situation, so I chose to walk away.
#4- Although he said differently for the first 5 years we were married, he had ZERO interest in owning his own home. There was always a 'reason"(excuse) it wasn't obtainable. The real reason was he didn't want the responsibility of home ownership. Not for that reason alone (there was a few others I won't mention) I left the UK and moved back home to the USA. No animosity(mostly), just a clean cut... irreconcilable differences I suppose you could say.
I have given up on the idea of love and being a couple who works toward a common goal. I'm lucky to have witnessed many of my friends and family achieving that very thing, but it has alluded me and I'm done waiting.
Well, I've been working towards that goal on my own since moving back home. I thought that I would get a plot of the family place to put my home (my ultimate dream) but even though my Daddy had it set up in what he had been told was an airtight ironclad will/trust, somehow my mom managed to have it changed. We've thought about and discussed contesting it, but none of us are up to that kind of long drawn-out battle at this stage of our lives, so my sister-in-law rules the estate. I would say my brother, but it's not him...it's all her.
Anyway, I digress, I've been busting my butt to be a better person, to keep my eye on the goal and it seems to be working. I have a legal thing to take care of with #4, but then it's going to be full throttle ahead to realize my dream. It's in the works now, I'm just not wanting to jinx it by talking about it before it's a done deal. And what a deal it is!!!!
So anyway, all the OT hours and then the illness is why I was away for so long. As I said- I'm managing to read and sometimes comment on my blogger friends' posts, but I find it difficult, if not impossible, to write a post for here on my tiny little keypad on my phone.
Yall please pray for me and my last Bucket List item.
And Happy Fall Yall!!!!
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