Double Shifts

 Double shifts this week... unless they get someone hired for 1st shift, trained, and vetted. 

Need the extra wages, but my body is already giving me the side eye after only 2 doubles. 

I'm tough... I can do it.

See y'all after the fire is out!! xx

Clayton ..Always In Our Heart. 1983-2007

You are missed. Our hearts are still broken.  The pain never leaves for any of us. 

Til we meet again. xxx Mama, Julie, Frank,

Dear Lord

 Dear Lord,

Give me Strength today.

Give me strength everyday- but especially today.

Hold us tightly in your hands because we are all at a breaking point right now.

Amen

Too Busy To Breathe...

 Long Story short-

New Job, sick kids, 

Two loose teeth that need to be taken care of, 

Loving the new job, meeting new people.

Hoping will settle into some semblance of a routine soon so I can get back to the fun stuff in life- 

ie, blogging, cooking, gaming, writing......

Trying to read blogposts and comment here and there, mostly reading before having to jump up and do stuff tho.... 

It will settle soon- I have faith.- and I pray- a LOT.

A New Beginning

 Yesterday was the first day at my new job. 

Let's just say this is going to be quite an adjustment.  At my previous job, I was 90 mph all morning, a short time where there was nothing to do unless I got a call (which I usually did) and then 90mph for the last two hours of the shift. 

It went from 90 to basically nothing. Second shift is more chill than first shift. My job duties at the moment are to sit or stand and watch for a blinking green light and then take two steps and open a door for a contractor. (New facility and they are still figuring out the standards.) I also make a foot patrol every two hours around the perimeter of the interior- exterior patrols have been cancelled until the yard is cleared up per the powers that be.

Of course, you know I was speaking to as many people as I could to get a feel for the place. About half at least said Hi but that will increase in the coming days, I'm sure.

In the work area, there is only fans, no A/C... but fans are aplenty there. every workstation, the security area and about 50 giant overhead ceiling fans above us. 

The other area is posh- of course you know it's the Office area- AC to the point of being chilly, and by the time I get there at 2pm everyone is getting packed up to head home....

The parking situation is atrocious for now. They are working on a gravel overflow parking area, but it remains to be seen if this will truly "fix" the issue. And best of all, Security doesn't have to deal with a single logistics issue for now. It may change in the future- but due to the business it is, I highly doubt we ever will EVER be asked to do more than log the drivers name, company, and truck numbers before sending them on their way in. There is only one way in and one way out and the company logistics team only touches or even sees the paperwork. LOVE that.

Bottom line, I absolutely love the new place- it's going to evolve as it always does- but Best news is- it's a stone's throw from the house compared to the other job and it's a lot less work for a tiny pay cut that will be more than made up for in Fuel used and wear and tear on my car. less headache meds, less muscle balm for the excessive driving cramps.... I don't think I lost one good thing except for the lovely people I was working with. And since Sister still works there, I feel confident I can still see some of those people from time to time if I take Sister lunch- or Dinner. Or just drop by for a chat.... 

All in all, I feel confident I made exactly the right move for my life at this time.

Happy Days!!!!

 Blah- Blah Blah... trying to figure out why my dadgum print size changed

That Took Forever....Cleaning it up.....

 

Well, after almost two entire months of working an hour or so every night to go thru over 300k emails to make sure I didn't delete anything important and deleting the rest- I'm finally finished.

That will NEVER happen again.

Now to download my books and work on them -and get at least ONE finished up before years end.

Saying Goodbyes

 Tomorrow is my last day at this job. You never know what life is going to hand you tho- so I'm saying my goodbyes today rather than tomorrow to all my favorite people who made me smile and gave me a little wave everyday and made my day feel not so long and tedious.  There are many. 

Sadly, I have actually cried today twice after doing so- in private of course, I don't want to appear unprofessional(I UGLY cry- not an ounce or inch of pretty to my sadness)....so I give a firm handshake and carry on with a see you around as we turn to leave.

However, there have been a handful who take the handshake and turn into a warm hug with a "we will really miss you!!" instead- which is perfectly fine with me as I am defo a hugger. 

August has always been a tough month for my family- for me especially at work on certain days. And this week is awful. 

Monday just was a sucky day altogether- nothing went right and by the end of the day I was to the point of walking off saying F-it- IDGAS ... and so I did. It was end of the day and clocking out I glanced away from the phone for literally ONE second and when I looked back it had gone to the home screen instead of the clock out page. I was like- wth- did the clock out go thru or not- the only way to tell absolutely was to log back in and if it clocked me out it would say I wasnt on schedule until- date/time.... but I was already aggravated and stressed and had HAD it..... so I just said above, put the phone down and left for the day.

Yesterday I got up, drove the 50 odd miles to work, forgot my lunch, and had zero amount to get any until my wages deposited into my bank account that afternoon... I pulled into the parking lot at work, let the windows down so it wouldn't suffocate/roast me when I got off work, and draped a towel over my steering wheel for the same reason. as I reached for the door handle to go clock in to work, I got a phone call from my eldest son saying he had been in an accident and could I meet him at the hospital.... so I ran in, told the Sergeant on duty I had a family emergency  and had to divert to the hospital... and I went back to the car. I shot off a quick voice clip to my boss letting him know and took off to my son........ and forgot to  click SEND to the voice clip.... two hours later I see a message from boss saying post was vacant(he prob thought I was just ditching work because it was my last days...-I would NEVER! Personal character and job ethic from my daddy in play there!)

I looked and sent another voice clip telling him I had send him a message explaining what was happening and apologised for forgetting to hit send on the first one. Understandable under the circumstances I think tho.... He(boss) said don't worry, just let him know if I wasnt going to make it in the next morning and he hoped son would be alright.....- He's hurt(My son)- but referred to a spine specialist...... Hopefully he will be fine in a few months.

Today would have been my mom's 90th Birthday. Missing her like crazy these days- even her ornery streak she liked to display on a quite regular basis...... Enough said about that.

Then tomorrow is my last day here at this job and I KNOW I'm going to miss these lovely people(except for a handful...there's always one or two that really just like to scrape on your nerves with a ragged dull spoon, isn't there?)  I don't make friends easily because- trust issues (Quality over Quantity I like to say)...... but here most everyone is just lovely down home good people. I will miss them.

On the 16th, my best friend(of almost 60 years) son passed away and her kids were like my kids brothers.... Bezzie and I did everything together on a parallel line... Our eldest two are only a year and a half apart...or middles were only 6 months apart, and our babies were 6 weeks apart.  They/We all grew up together and it was glorious times for me and her and our kids . Travis was the first of her kids to pass (Accidental OD), then a few years later it was her eldest (S I GS), then a couple years ago, her baby was murdered(Stabbing).  She also has lost her dad to covid during those years AND her fiance to a massive heart attack 3 weeks after her second son's passing.)I try to go spend time with her on those angel-versary days...

On August 26th 2007, I lost my youngest son to a MVA. I don't go to work that day, I don't eat that day- I don't get out of bed that day- I stay in bed and cry. I have tried a few times to go to work or get up and push thru the day- but it never works out. I fall to pieces that day. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to DO anything.  So I just don't.

So yeah- August is time for Saying Goodbyes... and it's hard no matter what the circumstances.

I just keep trying to convince myself that brighter days are ahead... New job with better benefits, Retirement funds starting in February.... hopefully finding a property to call our own rather than renting a place that the landlord isn't willing to fix when things go wrong with it..... Pay raises forthcoming, vacation days- no wait- PAID vacation days or PTO as they like to refer to paid vacation now..... Allowed overtime IF I want it!!! 

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel- it's tiny- but what I can see of it is bright!!!

(Sorry so long... I'm in a mood today, for sure.)

Getting Ready to Autumnize!!!!

 I can't believe the BER months are just a few short weeks away!!!

 If things go their usual way, September will start out with very little changes in the heat- but the nights will start becoming noticeably cooler. Then towards the middle of the month the days will start cooling off by 3 or so degrees every day until full chill factor is in effect for the daytime. 

Oh, I cannot wait!!!!

The cool crispness in the air- the smell of falling leaves after the color starts changing...... 

That's when I am in my element- jeans and boots, cozy sweaters, caramel and apples from our annual orchard visit (which we missed last year btw so this one will be doubly wonderful!!) Cinnamon Rolls for Sunday Brunch alongside the eggs and bacon and toast or biscuits. Apple pie just seems so much tastier in the autumn air, doesn't it?

I'm a bit ahead of my time already- I already put out my big autumn wreath on my front door last weekend. I was trying to trick my mind into believing the heat and humidity wasn't that bad. It might have worked- just for a few moments. I'll be resetting the front porch next weekend since my new boss decided to give me Friday as a PVD... first day there and It's a PTO day!! My God, I'm predicting I'm going to LOVE this job. 

Anyhow- so if you remember, I have a big dollhouse my sister gave me that last spring I redid into a dual season decor piece. Outside it's Autumn- painted black with all kinds of autumn touches to it... even though it's black, it's more autumn themed- I just add a few bits and pieces the couple of weeks before Halloween to make it scary Ish- then Nov 1st it goes back to just autumn until the weekend after Thanksgiving- then I open it up and it's full-on Christmas inside it!! I had so much fun working on that house!! 

I'd post photos, but I have got to figure out how to actually do that first. I'm so out of touch with how to do that kind of thing now. I need to get an SD card maybe?? I don't even know if this laptop has a slot for them... I'll have to look soon.

I also will be changing up my bedding colours and throws in the greatroom. 

Anyway, So I guess I'm going to get off here and go refuel my vehicle to get back and forth to my last days at my job next week. I'm just so utterly thrilled with the distance part of it!!  The rest of it- we will see how it goes-

...but so far- it's off to a GREAT start!!!!!

I just want to thank y'all who are happy for me and are supporting me with your kind words!!!  xoxo

Gah- Even More Changes!!!

 Well boss(present) called me today asking if I was at a point that I could break free and come have a talk with him. I said sure.

I then proceeded to pack all my personal  belongings into my Backpack because usually when you get called into the manager's office for a little chat- it rarely ends well for the "talkee". I was fully expecting to be told-"We're going to have to let you go today" and then be walked off property without being able to go back and gather my personal possessions from the office...I was fully prepared for that eventuality because I've had to execute that walk with other employees quite a few times in my career.

Well, I got to his office and turns out he just wanted to offer to let me go whenever was best for me- stated he had coverage if I wanted to make either today or next Thursday my last day on schedule instead of working out the whole two weeks notice. I declined today being the last day-, started to decline next Thursday as well just to be ornery- but then I thought to myself- "Self, Do I really want to cut off my nose to spite my face? Take the damn extra week instead of working the full notice, you dumbass."

So I did- and now I only have four days left to work instead of nine days! I contacted my future boss or my boss-in-waiting..lol. and he said that was fine- was actually glad to be getting  me a week ahead of schedule!!

So Good times!!

Changes Afoot!

 So yesterday I turned in my 2 weeks notice  at my job.

My boss was NOT expecting that.

At present I get up at 0445 to get dressed and drive 52 miles to work. Then I drive anywhere from 30-45 miles a day doing my actual job patrolling two different sites about 3 miles from each other. Gas prices plus wear and tear on my car is thru the roof for me.

At my present job, I get ZERO PTO/Vacation. Well saying that we can TAKE vacation days- but we take a hit in the wallet as it's not PAID vacation. We also don't get any help/offers on health and dental or life insurance. We are provided Uniforms, but we have to pay for our special footwear ourselves. Also, we have no help with the protective eyewear we are required to wear on the floor inside the facilities.  

One of the main reasons I'm leaving is my blood pressure has been steadily rising- and I'm ON BP medication and it's not doing a thing for it. That's the stress level I'm dealing with at the moment. Mainly that's because of a damn AI Monitor they have on the company vehicle. It hates me- and the feeling is mutual. I told my boss that it's a horrible idea because it only sees the numbers on incidents- it doesn't take into consideration human factors and it doesn't show rear views of vehicles hauling ass down the road behind you and almost rearending me because I'm slowing down to the seven mile an hour required for "approved cornering".  I told my family if I got killed while making a turn in that damn car that was grounds for a lawsuit. I don't approve of those monitors in vehicles- THEY are more distracting than anything else. heck- when I was wearing my compression glove for my arthritis in my wrist- every time I put my hand near my face the monitor screamed bloody murder that I was "DISTRACTED DRIVING!!!" because the glove was black it was reading it as a phone and phone usage in the company vehicle is a definite no-no and a fireable offense. I swear I get flagged at least a dozen times a week- one day a couple weeks ago I got flagged 6x in one DAY!!! And you get orange flagged for the distracted driving which includes eating, drinking, talking on a phone, seat belt unbuckled, looking at something outside the vehicle for more than two seconds-... I havent been flagged for the eating or drinking yet- I only do that when I'm fully stopped and in park, but the others I get flagged on regularly- even tho I dont do any of them!!!!! When she screams about the seatbelt one(at least twice a week, I just grab it at my shoulder and put it in FRONT of the damn camera so they can see that CLEARLY it IS ON correctly- then I mouth "effing idiot AI..." and look directly into the camera when doing so. 

The powers than send these clips to my boss have told him many times that mine are the most entertaining flags they get to watch. I'm glad someone is getting enjoyment out of them.... 

(Think GomerGober Pyle yelling Citizen's arrest!!! Citizen's Arrest!!! at Barney Fife and you have got how annoying getting flagged is....and when it screams at you in a dead silent car it scares the crap out of me.)

Any who- I'm going off on a tangent again- soz......

The new company is half the distance between where I live and where I WANT to move to soon as we can find affordable housing. It also offers PTO, All the insurances I mentioned (not sure about the footwear and vision stuff tho. But just gas and oil and wear and tear on my auto will more than make up for that.) I'm coming out better in the end. I'm moving from first shift to second shift but that's going to be a plus for reasons I can't explain on here at this time. LOL.... 

I am going to miss most of my peeps at the place I'm working now. There's a handful of special friends I've made too. 

There will be tears when I leave on the 13th. But we can stay in touch thru social media or phone. Right???

I'm actually quite excited about this next phase of my life. Quite Excited Indeed!!!

It's Happening!!!!

 Turned in my 2 weeks notice at work today!!

Changes are afoot...(but no- unfortunately I did NOT win the lottery.) 

Deets soon!!!!

Dedicated to Clay-

 I've been debating posting this life story from my memoirs...

It has to do with one of my sons (Clay)when he was around two and a half or three, and he's passed away almost twenty years ago so no one can rag on him about it. I don't think he would mind anyway as he had a great sense of humor and would always be telling stories to make you howl with laughter.  It's one of those stories that we can laugh about now as adults, but it wasn't a laughing matter in any way shape or form when it happened.... 

His Angelversary is coming up next month and he's been on my mind quite a bit, so Son, this one is dedicated to your uncanny ability to make us all laugh no matter what the situation was...

*****************

Back in the day, when parents decided to have an adult summer get together, we normal people had it at home, in the backyard or in the house after the kiddos were tucked away in bed for the night or conversely, we sent them to le Grandparents house for the night.

Well, Husband #2 and I decided to host one of those parties, and there were three stories from it that became legendary.  Le Grandparents had plans that night, so the kiddos got to stay home and was tucked away in bed for the night as our guests started arriving. There were the usual snacks and dips and such plus a huge cooler of PJ we had made up that morning. It was a simple party- just for gathering our friends together and creating some memories together. 

Now we were all enjoying ourselves, there was much storytelling and a bit of underlying shenanigans going on (that's a story for another time tho) and after darkness started descending, most of us went inside the house for the continuing fun. (Skeeters are HUGE and will try to tote you off into the woods for a feast of their own if you stay outside too long after dark here)...We were all about feeling the effects of the PJ by that time.

I periodically checked on the kiddos every half hour or so and they were always sound asleep, but when we moved inside when I checked on them, it roused Clay up enough that he wanted a drink of juice. I went and got it for him and then got him tucked back in bed.

Now Mind you- we had about 40 people in our home that night- and most of us were inside. So about 10 minutes after tucking him back in bed, I'm sitting on the sofa talking to our guests, and we hear a scream and the pitter patter of little feet running down the hallway heading to the living room with him wailing in pain- it was one of those screams that you KNOW as a parent.

He comes running into the living room, training pants down to the bottom of his butt cheeks and clenching his penis. All the Boy-Moms know immediately what has happened. He immediately spots me and runs over and sobbing and yelling "Mama, it HURTSSSSSS, Kiss it and make it better!!!!" and just keeps repeating it over and over while I'm trying in front of 40 guests to pick him up and comfort him whilst trying to explain to him that this is one Boo-boo Mama can't kiss and make better.

I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain what happened, but just in case, Clay was just over getting potty trained and new to using a regular sized toilet. He had gotten up to pee, raised the seat but not pushed it back all the way and then laid his little man part on the rim of the toilet in totally the WRONG spot. The seat was just far enough "not back all the way" to fall forward at the slightest bump and the little round spacer part that keeps the seat from touching the rim and stabilizes it fell directly ON said man part.  I wince now just thinking about it.

For their part- the guests were all quiet during this exchange- The men understood with sympathetic pain the gravity of the situation for Clay, the women understood my pain as well of having used the age old mama fix for boo-boos and having a child believe it was "mama magic" but not being able to use it on probably the greatest pain he had experienced in his short life. He wouldn't understand for years why mama just wouldn't use mama magic, but yes- he laughed about it a few years later.

So...

Moral of the story is: 

Think Before Starting the "Kissing the Boo-boo to make it all better" magic. Turns out that magic is very site specific.

SMH..... Kids.

(It wasn't too inappropriate, was it?)

Coffeeeeeeeee- In All It's Glory!!!

 Friday is my "treat" day.

If I can afford it, I usually stop at McD's and grab me a large Caramel Coffee-Extra Caramel please. (I want the 62 oz Big Gulp cup but McD's doesnt Supersize that big anymore. No, I dont like Starbucks- to me it tastes....plastic- too artificial. I do like Coyote Coffee but alas- there is not one close to me anywhere along my route- and I'm not paying that kind of money for a coffee anyway at any place. Maybe on a date or something, but seriously, give me McD's anyday. I'm a simple pleasures kinda girl.

Anyway, for the last two Fridays I've stopped at the McD's closest to my job and IDK what the deal is, but they haven't had it. Hot coffee yes- Iced Coffee no. ( I feel shades of ice cream machine coming on there...) So today I was NOT taking the chance. (I get MEAN when I dont have my REWARD for putting up with the Drudgery and Tomfoolery of Monday- Thursday- ask anyone who knows me) I stopped at the one in the little town of Belton and got it there. I may start making that my regular stop on Fridays instead of the one closest to my job because- well- the employees there must have found the secret recipe while other places seem to just throw different amounts in theirs because depending on who makes it- it can be too coffee-ish, (bitter tasting) or not enough creamer in it-(watery and bitter) or weak and sweet- too much ice, very little coffee and creamer- and WAYYYYY too much caramel syrup.

Belton McD's it doesnt matter who makes it- it has the purrrrr-fect amount of everything that blends together to make a large cup of Heaven.  Oh the JOY!!!!!

The only plus to grabbing it closer to work is I don't have time to drink it all before I get started on patrol. It last me all the way thru lunchtime when I finish it off at my desk and pat myself on the back for making it thru the week without ending up in CC Orange. 

If I ever win the lottery- I think I might start handing a $20 tip to the employees who make my iced coffee perfectly- and it will still be a Friday Treat.

LOL- I hope yall have a great weekend!! I hope we ALL do!!!

Are We a Different Breed?

 So speaking of online shenanigans and stuff...

Evan and I were commenting we were glad that we grew up in a world where not everything was recorded online for all and sundry to see. Being young you can make some serious misjudgements that could haunt you for the rest of your life- not that we did anything that horrifying- but it was a different time I guess.

Are we a different breed? Would we have cared more and been less... "rambunctious/mischievous" than we were if we had had every moment/thing put it out there online? I would have cared- and been way more discreet or less "troublesome" than I was. Even now I care what is known about me and how much everyone knows- to a sacred FEW- you know more about me that I would ever let out and you know who you are..... but today's kids - I don't think THEY actually care what is put out there what they do and what they say is beyond belief(in most cases). 

I think most of them these days do attention grabbing stuff just  for that reason- they want to be thought of as extreme or unique- The more extreme the better, that's the way I see them acting.

And so it continues....

 So I need some paperwork that has been sent to my email. Only my email wont let me forward it to another address to be printed out. 

That sux. I got one last day- today- to respond and get this paperwork to the powers that be. 

Wish me luck. I'm going to try taking my phone in with me to get it taken care of- maybe some tech savvy 6 year old can conjure it off the phone and onto paper.

LMBO.

SMDH.....

So- A Bit of Drama...

A bit of drama that may make you chuckle or you may choose not to peruse at all.... I usually don't succumb to drama at the office, it's water on a ducks back to me 99.9% of the time- but this just hit me the wrong way so I'm indulging....

 There's an ongoing battle at work between me and another anonymous officer..... (I honestly don't know (nor care tbh)which officer it is and have a handful to choose from)

Someone on weekend shift  is trying to be bossy about the shared computer. 

They wrote a nasty little passive aggressive note saying 

"DONT TOUCH(arrow to volume icon) ...

The Volume is PERFECT...little hearts all over the perfect part. then in parenthesis  (I will find you.)"

I'm sorry but no- I wrote back- 

"It's a SHARED computer- adjust as you need to. :) "

To which they replied

"This isn't simply a preference. No Passive-Aggressive Smiley Faces, Veda. " ( They can't even spell my name correctly.)

 I wrote back "It's VADA. :) "

I know- childish of me, but it is what it is.

THEN they wrote a whole thing about how it's bad for the computer and it's irritating to have to "fix the system." (For volume adjustment?- if the system is THAT delicate I don't think it needs to be used tbh)

 I just wrote back that 70% is too damn loud for a shared office space on first shift. 

I'm so damn sick of having a battle with these juvenile snowflakes(30+ y/o ones at that.)

It's a moot point tho- 

I'm just going to ride this one out to the end of my stay here which hopefully will end soon.

I'm not going quietly tho- I'm going to choose this battle to die on, so to speak. I've had enough mollycoddling grown ass humans.

A/C or Window?

 I'm taking auto, yall.

My dad used to refuse to use the A/C in our cars because he swore it made them use more fuel.

I think it's the exact opposite- I think having the windows down creates drag and the car is less streamlined, therefore THAT combination makes a car less fuel efficient. 

Or is it equally so for both?

What say Ye? 

(I know I could probably "GIGGLE" the science and get an answer- but I like human interaction.)

Finally!!

 This weekend was just perfect for me... well, 99% anyway.

I didnt do but 2 productive things all weekend. I cooked supper on Saturday and I put up a clothesline in the backyard. And when I say put up a clothesline I mean I got some cording and strung it between two trees. It's a temp fix and because it's nylon cord will have to be tightened up ever so often- but I'm going to have fresh air clean bed linens again if it kills me. 

The rest of the weekend was devoted to sitting and talking with my son, daughter, and granddaughter.

When it was bedtime for granddaughter, I went to my room and played RANCH SIMULATOR with my sister until we got tired enough to go to bed. My son usually went to the basement to work on his go-cart rebuild and chatted with his buddy who is temp staying with us a couple weeks til his new place is ready, and my daughter sometimes watched a few videos or played with me and Sis on the game. We make a hella team!! 

I was tempted a few times to clean my room, but I kept reminding myself I needed a work free weekend.

I honestly didnt realise how hard it would be to NOT do anything productive - especially Friday afternoon and Saturday.

By Sunday I was pretty much into the work free mindset and enjoying the heck out of it!! 

Maybe I need to set one weekend a month as a Production Free Weekend for some good old R & R.... 

Most Heartbreaking Scene...

 For some it's the scene from Bambi. For others the scene where Old Yeller dies. And for others- it's the scene from Grey's Anatomy when they realize who 007 is- or when Derek dies.

For me- it will always be the scene from M.A.S.H. when Radar comes into the operating theatre and reads the telegram about Henry Blake's homebound plane.

"Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. 

There were no survivors."

I still sob when I even just THINK about that scene. 

Powerful and Heartbreaking.