Nervous Nellie...

 

My entire life I have had predictive dreams(nightmares)- and they have usually come true with a scarily high percentage of accuracy.

So, a couple of years back I woke from a dead sleep thinking "My DoD is going to be October 29th 2029."... and that one thought has preyed on my mind in October ever since. It's cost me sleep and as October 29th draws closer every year I find myself getting more and more anxious. It's not my favorite month of the year, for sure and certain.

I know the date was October 29, 2029...but what if it was just October 29th...and I inserted the 2029 part subconsciously? 

It could be ANY October 29th.....Upcoming in near future- in a few days or in 2029, or when I'm 79- or 109.

It's really affecting my mental health stressing about it. I drove to work this morning crying and praying for the Lord to help me stop stressing about it. 

Yesterday when my son showed up for our Sunday visit, when he got ready to leave I gave him an extra long hug and burst into tears when he drove out of sight. Same with my daughter- before I toddled off to bed I have her an extra long hug and kiss and told her I love her sooo much. And again, I cried when I got to my room.

I know no one but God knows when we will be called home, but that certainly is not being much of a comfort in my situation.  

The weekend went well tho, On Saturday me, my daughter and my granddaughter set up the Halloween decorations on the front porch. It looks super cute!!! I'd show photos but I'm not sure how to do that quite yet on my phone. Then later we went on a little drive down to see a house near us that has loads of Animatronics and a sound show with it. Grandson 3 followed us with his little family and we really enjoyed watching the babies be amazed!!!

Then I made a huge pot of soup and a pan of cornbread for supper Sunday. Also a pan of fudgey brownies for dessert. Bit of a hiccup there as Grandson 3 came but didn't stay for supper- some sort of drama or other going on- then Son and his Girlfriend came by and although they didn't eat then because they had a late lunch, they did take enough home to eat for their supper later on. Thank Goodness.

So now we have a half a huge pot of soup left in the fridge. We can't freeze it because part of it was frozen already and cant be refrozen without safety concerns...

So here I sit Monday Morning- trying to simultaneously not think about the upcoming date- but also trying to figure out how to stop stressing about it.

The life of an adult.....