Sunday, July 31, 2005

Here, Have Some Chocolate.............

My Best Friend sent me this today.
I usually don't forward stuff- but I thought y'all might enjoy it. I know I did!!

Advice for the Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a POOR man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every Man ( husbands, boyfriends,just good buddies or significant others) who knows and loves any woman, with hot flashes periods, or little "out of the normal" mood swings. I hope it helps!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about ...

My significant other, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark
on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.

Here, have some chocolate.

I've Been Tagged!!!

I've been tagged by Serendipity.

I usually don't do this type thing, but I LOVE reading about you guys and getting a better idea of who you all are and what you're really like!!.
(Besides- It's a WONDERFUL post after that last fiasco I published!!!!)

So here I am- or a little bit more about me, anyway!!

Three names I go by:

Three screen names I've had:
Southern Goddess
no others

Three physical things I like about myself:

Three physical things I don't like about myself:

Three parts of my heritage:

Three things I am wearing right now:
Black sweatpants
Paulius’ White tee shirt
White ankle socks

Three favorite bands/musical artists :
Toby Keith
Robert Cray Band

Three things I want in a relationship:

Two truths and a lie:
I’m afraid for my three kids to travel together
I want to come back in my next life as a house cat
I like dogs more than cats

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
His Hands
His Smile
His Eyes

Three favorite hobbies:
Collecting Christmas Decorations

Three things I want to do badly right now :
Be snuggled by Paulius
Lose weight instantaneously
Eat a huge custom burger from Fuddruckers burger joint

Three things that scare me:
The thought of becoming blind
Being homeless

Three of my everyday essentials:
Soda pop
Hugs& kisses

Three Careers you have considered or are considering :
Police officer
Full time Author

Three places you want to go on vacation:

Three things you want to do before you die:
Own my own home
Finish my book
Lose back down to my ideal weight

Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
I like to work on cars
I like to shoot weapons
I put off housework as long as possible

Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
I love to wear sexy clothes and heels
I cry when I get mad
I freak when I see a snake.

Three celeb crushes :
Tom Hanks ( gotta like a man who makes ya laugh)
Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing NOT X-men)
The guy who plays the “bodyguard” in “The Mummy Returns” with Brendon Frasier.

Three people I am tagging (cos apparently that's the form):

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Men Versus Women......Again??????

Are you as sick of the men vs. the women thing as I am?

I swear- I love hearing about the THINKING and REASONING behind womens points of view and mens points of view differing, but this ongoing controversy of women can do everything men can do and just as well.....and men can do everything women can do and just as getting seriously boring as HELL to me.

Let's be honest and just ADMIT it- there are some things women CAN do that men CAN'T- no matter how hard they try- they just CAN'T.
They aren't programmed for it- NOR or they equipped for some things we do.

And VICE- Versa.

There it is.
All wrapped up in a nice, neat little package with no bullshit.
Just the cold, hard truth.

I, for one, am one of those women who doesn't WANT to do everything men can do. I believe in equality- in work and pay- but as well as I do at SOME things men do- there are things I know in my heart I will never be able to do as well as my man. And truth be known, there are plenty of things I don't WANT to do that my man does FOR me.

Like change the light-bulbs in the overhead lights. I HATE that job. It's a small thing- but I don't wanna do it. Not because I can't...I just don't wanna. I don't mind taking out the rubbish, but I HATE tying the bags up- or putting the twisty ties on them.

I don't mind cleaning the bathroom, but I HATE doing any kind of plumbing.

I love cooking, but my hubby is just as good a cook as I am- some times he's a better cook. And he's a MUCH better bartender than I am.

And despite me being a certified interior designer, Paulius is just as good at it as I am.

Honestly, the truth is- there will always be someone better than you at something- sometimes it will be a man,
Sometimes it will be a woman.

The ONLY thing women can't do is produce sperm for making babies. And the ONLY thing men can't do(yet, looks like that may end soon with the research that is going on, tho) is MAKE the egg for the baby.

So can we just PLEASE call it EVEN for now????

Thursday, July 28, 2005

He IS Real and No, I DON'T Have Him Chained To a Radiator.

We have to get out more.

When I sit here for 20 minutes trying to think about what I am going to write- a realization hits. Paulius and I have a practically non-existent social life.

I am deeply disturbed by this. I work nights, I come in, we go to bed, get up, eat, spend about three hours spending time together and then I go back to work.

On my night off(yes NIGHT) we sit home and spend time together, which is FANTASTIC, but we don't go out.

I've always been a bit of a loner, sometimes by necessity, then mostly by choice.
I have a few close friends- the problem is either they don't LIVE close, or they are Party Animals and go the bars and taverns on a regular basis.That's just not my cup of tea. I like going out for the occasional drink- but people around here seem to not go out at all- or they go out and stay out all night drinking and getting absolutely smashed.

My family are all workaholics too- I don't think any of them go out much, either, so we can't really make it a family outing.

I like going out to dinner and then have a couple drinks after. Or if I am going to go out to drink- I want to go somewhere you can DANCE.I love to dance. Problem again. Paulius SAYS he can't dance.(I think he's just shy about dancing.)

I like to go to the theatre- but most theatre around here happens at night, and during the week. And theatre here is EXPENSIVE too...My God- this is upstate South Carolina- not Madison Avenue, New York City!!
And the theatre productions aren't that good to be honest. It's just fun to watch them TRY.

We do have several seasonal city events in both Greenville and Easley that are great,but so far we haven't been able to get to them.....I usually have to work.

We have a Bluegrass festival in Pickens that is great for us "hillbillies". I love Bluegrass music in MODERATION, but I don't think Paulius is too partial to it. He would go with me if I really wanted to and he wouldn't complain(he's the most wonderful husband) but I'm not sure I want to do that to him. It would be like him loving accordion music and dragging me to a polka festival.

Granted, he loves his gamecube(you're very welcome, sweetheart) and he loves staying home and watching movies and spending time together, but we need to go out and be among the general population every once in a while. Don't we?

Or will there be time for that later?

I don't know what the norm is- or do we make our OWN norms?

All I know for sure is that I don't want us to fall into a routine that becomes dull and boring to either of us. I love the time spent with Paulius alone, but we have been married over a year now and people are beginning to wonder if I have him chained to a radiator somewhere. Honestly- some of my relatives are wondering if he's just a figment of my imagination because they haven't met him yet.


And he IS real!!!!

Monday, July 25, 2005


Thanks to those of you who took the time to comment on "Hunters Revenge".
I really appreciated the remarks.

Todays is going to be short and sweet...I think.....(you know how blogs go- you start out on one thing and completely finish with a totally different line of thought).

What I would like your input on is whether you think MEN or WOMEN are more vindictive.

I have known some pretty mean guys in my time- but it seems to me that women ENJOY revenge much more than men.
Men walk up to someone who have wronged them, give them a piece of their minds and punch their lights out- it's over.

Women seem to be more like elephants- they take revenge- walk away- and then take revenge over and over again and NEVER seem to let it go.
(Sorry about the comparison to elephants, ladies- but that's the thing that has a long memory- if you can think of something better to compare us to- feel free to set me butt didn't appreciate the comparison much either if it's any consolation!!)

Saturday, July 23, 2005


I find it really strange that I know more gay male couples than I know female gay couples.

I find it strange that my entire family makes their mate get up in the middle of the night to smooth the wrinkles out of the sheets because it feels like trying to sleep on a bed of sticks.

I find it strange that I never hardly see my best friends, yet we remain best friends.(Hi Lois and Rhonda!)

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Are You Coasting? ....Or Not?

I am as curious as the proverbial cat.

I know most of you are twenties and thirties.....but I still have a question for you.

Up to this point in your life- do you think you have lead an interesting and full life? Or do you think you're just coasting thru it up to now?

I personally think I have lead an interesting and full life so far. I have saved a couple persons lives-(yes really)-,I have survived two auto accidents that, by all acounts, I should have died in, I survived the red measles(my doctor thought I wouldn't make it and told my parents to make arrangements), two tornados, I'm writing a book, and I have survived several other incidents that I don't share information about. I have traveled all over the United States, I have tried things that scared the devil out of me, I have raised three children, and have a part-time job I adore. I have had jobs as a Security officer- a police officer/dispatcher, a seasonal marketing specialist, a secretary, a receptionist, a cashier at McDonalds, a painter, a gardner, a maid, and a commercial building cleaner(exteriors)as well as a few more to stupid to mention. I have been praised by employers for saving a company millions of dollars and months of work, and I have told employers that they SUCK to their faces and gotten by with it(mainly because they agreed with me about the thing I was complaining about.) I've flown in a helicopter, went white-water rafting, and driven a speedboat.

I coasted thru life til I was 23- Then I started LIVING!

How 'bout you?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Putting It On The Line? Or Not?

I woke up this morning and decided that before I take another Pain-killer I would see what's up in our little world.
Read the my e-mails........tried reading HP6.

Since so many of you guys are writing a book and give such great reviews, I was seriously contemplating-(that's a big word)-putting an excerpt-(another big word)- from my book on here and getting a bit of input from y'all-(that's a Southern word).

I'm just not sure I am ready to put it on the line like that.

Any thoughts? Could YOU do it? Do you show your writing to anyone while it's still a work in progress? Or do you keep it ALL under wraps until it's finished?

Just wondering.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A Little Help?

Don't yall think it would be wonderful of my Paulius to read HP6 to me while I'm recuperating?

I know he's doing stuff like most of the cooking and a bit of cleaning and all the really hard stuff I can't do like:
Tying my shoelaces, opening doors, opening jars and bottles, cutting up my know, I never really realized how much I wouldn't be able to do when I had surgery done.

Sigh......Oh well- maybe he's doing MORE than enough already.

Thank you Sweetheart for everything you are doing for me. I love you!

Still in La-La Land

Hello All-....

Just a quick note to say surgery went well. I'm not quite up to posting anything much today except the update on the surgery. Still a bit-(actually a LOT)- fuzzy and am still on some heavy duty meds for pain. Maybe Thursday- or Friday.

Thanks for all the well-wishes in my other posts.

I AM still reading the posts or having Paulius read them to me every day.

Have a great week!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Do you ever have days when you just get really pissed about nothing?

It started last night.... I got my wages for vacation time- YAY!! Just in time for my surgery and a weeks vacation! THAT was some good news... However we went two places today and the service centers don't open til 9AM....I am going to be late to get my copy of Harry Potter now.

Also- tried to start this three times- all three times I have somehow managed to hit the caps key and everything was in caps. I'm also trying to get used to a new keyboard. I was so used to the old one- all the sticky keys and wobbly ones too. No telling how many misspelled words you will find on here but I refuse to change them. Too tired today.

Meanwhile Darth Furball is running around- literally bouncing off the walls and making as MUCH noise as possible. Paulius swears she sits by the door after I go to work, waiting for me. Personally, I think she's just sitting there to trip me when I come back in so I will break my neck and she can have him all to herself.

She chews on EVERYTHING- me most of all.....try to go to sleep- and she's there chewing on my fingers- or toes- or any other body part that happens to be outside the sheet.
She wakes me by pouncing on my pillow and popping me on either the forehead- or the top of my head- or my nose to wake me up.

This morning I was sitting on the sofa, minding my own bussiness talking to Paulius about work last night and his blog he wrote- and all the sudden she runs across the room- LEAPS on the sofa- runs up my BARE tummy, digging in her TALONS and leaving a huge scratch, runs across the back of the seat- turns around and zips back down on my leg and then back to the EXACT spot she was before she spazzed!!

Maybe my blood pressure is partly to blame for it. It was 145 over 106 when I went to do my pre-op stuff at the hospital yesterday.

Oh- It's also about 5 days off from Ground Zero again.
LOL- Paulius is going to be happy I will be on pain meds for the first part of that time. I honestly wouldn't blame him if he crushed up a couple extra and put them in my food.

LOL. THAT's one good thing about next week- Paulius will be doing most of the cooking. I will be doing most of the sleeping. I'm encouraging him to think of it as a mini- vacation. Peace and quiet. NICE!!!

Oh well, I see this blog is ALL over the place..... I am going to go sleep.......
Right after I go get Harry Potter.

And breakfast........

And a dog-house for Darth Furball.

Like the commercial says....
I think of it as a temporary exile.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


Why is it that pictures never stay straight on the wall?

And why is what we're looking for is always in the last place we look for it?

And how are dust bunnies formed and WHO came up with that name?

These are questions I need answered.I also need sleep now.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Reports & Memos

Know what really totally pisses me off and just BUGS the crap out of me?

When you turn in reports and they come back to you with a LOT of red ink on them and you having to redo them over several times because you left a freaking comma out or a word was misspelled. ONE mind you- not several.

Then you get memos from the higher ups that have several mis-spelled words, run- on sentences, and so many commas that it looks like a grapevine. And you're supposed to decipher that mess and follow directions AMND look at the mistakes all day long.

God forbid you point out that they made more mistakes in the one memo than the whole team did in their last quarterly report.

How horrifying!! You have committed an atrocity close to murder!


I say if they want perfection- then they should LEAD BY EXAMPLE!!

Sigh.....End of Rant.
Thank you for listening.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Only 165 days left!!!!

Today I'm going to talk about something that is very NEAR & DEAR to my heart.....


.......BTW- did you know its only 165 days til Christmas Eve??

Time to start pulling out the decorations and inventorying them. What kind of tree will I have this year? Real- or Artificial?
Green or white or silver? Noble or Douglad fir?

So many decisions to make!

My main problem is how MANY trees I can get by with puttting up before Paulius goes bezerker on me. One year i had 7 trees up- all different sizes and shapes. It was GREAT!!

He put up the Christmas village last year and did a FANTASTIC job of it.....I think that will be his project this year as well....IF he wants to that is.

Best holiday ever!!

Best season, however, is Autumn. Not too hot- Not too cold..... But THAT'S another blog for another day.

Merry Christmas to all-
and to all a good night!!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2005


Someone said on their blog that Dreams are answers to questions we haven't asked.

I guess I have the answer to my unasked questions.

I woke up from a nightmare this morning.....crying, hurt, confused......but mostly scared.
I have nightmares mostly about something going wrong with the process of the mountain of paperwork we have been doing since we married and him having to return to the U.K.
For some reason, in my nightmares, I can't go back with him and have to remain in the U.S.

If there is any doubt about how much I love my husband- the Doubting Thomas should be watching me when I wake from one of those frequent nightmares.
It honestly feels like someone has ripped my heart from my chest. I cannot breathe- I cannot speak- I wake up shaking and crying hystericaly.

We had a short version of saying goodbye at the airport when he went back to the U.K. from holiday three years ago. It was bad......I felt sick- he just had to walk away and not look back- I, on the other hand, watched until he literally dissappeared from sight. And I cried for a solid three hours afterwards- not to mention practically every day for the two years between then and his return for our wedding. Luckily, my son had come with us to the airport and was able to drive back to South Carolina from Atlanta, Georgia.

I cannot imagine being without him to wake to every morning. Without having him to banter with every day about whose turn it is to make the coffee. Without having his sweet kisses to see me off to work.Or to see his smile when he tells me the two cows in a field joke- or the horse in the bar joke- or the two boys having cereal for breakfast joke.

Or to have him there to hold me in his arms and tell me everything will be okay when I wake from a nightmare.

I pray to God that it WILL be okay.
I don't think I could bear to be without him by my side.

I don't want to have to TRY.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

How COULD you???

Todays blog is going to be short and sweet.....
I have a comment and then a question.

When I buy a book- it has to be REALLY boring and crappy for it to ever leave my house. I buy a book and read it and then shelve becomes part of my "family". I think in my entire like I have given away maybe three books.

Books were my best friends when I was growing up. They took me places to do things I dreamed about for weeks or months after reading them.

And I still love books like that-They still take me away to a place thats less stressful than my life sometimes, now. I read them and they stay on my shelf. I go to the library and borrow books and DETEST bringing them back.

My question is...... how can you go to the used bookstore and trade off books? How COULD you?? Isn't it a bit like taking your puppy to the pound and dropping him off or trading him in for a different one?

Or am I just entirely too emotional about my books????


(No offense to you-know-who about her trunkful of books intended by this blog.)

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Marking Territory-Part II

Okay- in all fairness I feel I have to finish what I started with my last blog.

Marking territory.......Yes, as Chief Slacker pointed out, we women do it too and, truth be told, we are more wiley about it than men are.

Men tend to mark territory at home- in their domain....we women, on the other hand, mark our territory everywhere. In our mens autos, in the house, even at their place of work.

We leave our brush/comb and barretts in their cars. Also, we tend to leave lipstick tubes and a compact in there, too- (just in case we're out and about and need to pull our hair back or check to see if we have a shiny nose or to re-apply our lipstick.)
Yeah- Right.

We put a "womans touch" in our mens domain- whether it's home with the flowers or at his office with a picture of us on his desk.

God help the man whose woman thinks another female might be paying just a tad too much attention to her man.
A woman will put on her perfume and then give her man an extra big hug before sending him off to work. That insures that not only will her man smell the perfume and be reminded of her all day, but any infringing females will smell it on him if they are too close, which serves as a warning to "BACK OFF- HE'S TAKEN"!!

Women tend to bring a "bite to eat" for their man at work. This marks their territory as well, giving the infringing woman/women a chance to see that the male is indeed being taken care of and ,more importantly, giving the marking female a chance to size up the competetion. A long kiss and hug will usually end the "lunch break" before the woman leaves and she usually will have the male walk her to her car as she leaves- a blatant case of marking territory that proclaims "He leaves with me. He may have to go back inside the office and finish the day- but it's because he HAS to-He WILLINGLY is making sure I am taken care of."

Women also call at odd times of the day "just to say hello" and to tell you they love you. And you know how they always make the man say they love them back before hanging up?.........Marking territory.

Women walk up their man at a party (or anywhere to be quite honest) and will stand so their sides are touching, or they want to hold hands at odd times, or they sit closer to him in the car. For women body language is extremely useful and effective in marking territory in public places.

Don't get the wrong idea.....women aren't just doing this because we are marking territory- well we are, but men should realize that we don't do these things if we don't love you and care about you and want to keep you.
If we didn't we wouldn't go to all that trouble- we would just pack up and leave.

Women as a rule, from the beginning of time, have hunted out he most capable males to take care of us.

When we fall in love with a good man, a man who loves us and takes care of us and loves us back and makes us happy- we will do everything in our power to keep them happy and keep them with us and keep other females(or males) at a distance.

It's instinct- and it's love.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

I FINALLY figured it out..

Funny how revelations hit you when you're in bed in that zone just between drowsiness and sleep.......

I heard my hubby tear the "rip-cord" off the top of the cigeratte pack as he was sittting at the computer last night. He has a habit of doing that and then leaving the rip-cord wherever he happens to be sitting.

I cracked open an eye to remind him to please throw it in the trash bin beside the desk because I had JUST tidied before going to bed and that happens to be a pet peeve of mine- tidying before going to bed or to work and then coming home expecting to find not a perfectly tidy desk at least a SOMEWHAT tidy desk and finding it with a ripcord on the desk, along with the foil off the top of the pack...a couple dirty ashtrays........a glass and a plate.........and usually a couple peices of torn paper laying there with info scribbled on them....
I can tolerate disarray elsewhere- but when I sit down at my desk- it has to be perfectly in order before I can work......

Anyway- I cracked open an eye and he pulled the ripcord and put it on the desk- but the foil top he threw in the bin, So I decided to just leave it alone..... He's TRYING to remember these things that really bug me so I can live with the ripcord.

As I closed my eyes and was drifting back down into la-la-land again a GREAT revelation came to me to me.

"He's marking his territory", a voice in my head whispered.

My eyes popped open as I realized that the voice was RIGHT. The more I thought about it- the more sense it made.

Almost all men do it. It's UNIVERSAL. In our society it's totally unacceptable for men to go round peeing on everything- marking their territory- so what is the next best thing? They leave their stuff everywhere instead.

Socks in the bathroom and bedroom floor, their shirts on the chair in the living room, their hats in the foyer or hallway, their hunting or computer (or whatever they happen to be interested in) magazines out on tabletops and countertops. Even leaving the seat up in the bathroom proclaims that a male has dominance here and gives any other male coming into the house a warning to back off.

It made me smile- and made it a little easier to deal with when I got up this morning and found the plate, and glass, and two dirty ashtrays on the desktop for me to tidy before I could relax and get to the computer.

Men-....You gotta love 'em.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

The Name Game

How do you name your pets?

I tend to watch them for a day or two and see what their personalities throw at me.

Sometimes I look at them and they just remind me of someone- or something specificly.

Sometimes I'm influenced by a character in a book I have been recently reading or a movie I particularly loved.

My last dog was a registered Dashund called "Rudolph Valentio Jar-Jar Binks".
No Joke- he was the most loveable affectionate puppy I had ever seen, (thus the Rudolph Valentino) But he was the clumsiest, most stupid goofus I have ever seen too- (thus the Jar-Jar-Binks). He would trip over his own ears trying to get to you to be petted.

It facinates me how people come to name their pets.

And their children...OMG- Don't even get me started on THAT subject.