Sunday, July 31, 2005

Here, Have Some Chocolate.............

My Best Friend sent me this today.
I usually don't forward stuff- but I thought y'all might enjoy it. I know I did!!

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Advice for the Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a POOR man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every Man ( husbands, boyfriends,just good buddies or significant others) who knows and loves any woman, with hot flashes periods, or little "out of the normal" mood swings. I hope it helps!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about ...

My significant other, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark
on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.

Here, have some chocolate.

6 comments:

serendipity said...

Chocolate is ALWAYS the answer! No question about it :o)

Anonymous said...

LOL...Chocolate is still my favorite vegetable...
topcat

Vicarious Living said...

lol - very nice bit about the ring

Pete said...

You shouldn't make me laugh like that at work.
I might get in trouble.

(we're not allowed to be happy here)

How are you feeling?
Hope you are recovering well from your surgery. :)

La Bona said...

I am obliged to help to disseminate story of a religious persecution ... my apologies for irrelevance.

Breaking News!
Barbaric persecution of an apostate …


The Malaysian authorities are persecuting an ex-Muslim fondly known as Ayah Pin and flatten his religious commune dubbed as Sky Kingdom, which is a quasi-religious commune located in north east Malaysian.

Once Muslim, Forever Slave!
Ayah Pin has publicly renounced his Islamic faith in 1998 but was REJECTED by the state (NB: Apostasy is a capital crime is Malaysia punishable by DEATH!)

The Persecution
In 2001, the Malaysian authorities jailed Ayah Pin for 11 months for attempting to renounce Islam. He is viewed as a security threat and they continue to harass him with all sorts of uncivilized threats befitting the low-life including smashing up the lovely giant teapot and flattening the commune, which they just did yesterday!

Prior to the destruction yesterday, the authorities raided the commune in July, 2005 and detained 45 faithful including a Kiwi, senior citizens and among others, 3 children of Ayah Pin and his 3 wives. I read somewhere; there are kids left behind unattended in commune and while some faithful have to pawn all they have to bail themselves out, the rest are still in custody.

Their crime: Being unIslamic!

As if the arrest was not good enough, mobs made up of some 35 unidentified assailants armed with Molotov cocktails attacked the commune and set the place ablaze …. Assailants attack Ayah Pin's commune with Molotov cocktails! ... I supposed mobs and Molotov cocktails are Islamic.

If you have a comment, please do not hesitate to email me at divinetalk@gamil.com. Alternately, you are welcome to do so at the forum (http://divinetalk.blogspot.com/2005/07/islam-persecution-i.html)

Chief Slacker said...

That whole chocolate/orgasm link works out all the time. :O)