Friday, February 27, 2009
It's a BOY!!!!!
Due June 30th or thereabouts.
I love you both!!!!! And I'm not the least bit disappointed. You know I love my Grandsons every bit as much as I would a little grand-daughter!!!
Better Luck Next time!!!!!(Just Kidding- I know you say this is it for y'all.....)
I love you both so much!!!!
Due June 30th or thereabouts.
I love you both!!!!! And I'm not the least bit disappointed. You know I love my Grandsons as much as I would a little grand-daughter!!!
Better Luck Next time!!!!!(Just Kidding- I know you say this is it for y'all.....)
I love you both so much and
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Let me just say that this has been one of the best birthdays in quite a few years for me.
Got literally dozens of prezzies and loads of cards as well.
Dinner from three places. The works.
Paul cleaned the house for me- That was TOTALLY unexpected and awesome......Got gift cards for dinner and a movie for later on when I don't have to work from one friend.......Got books and more books from my mom and THE ENTIRE SET of TWILIGHT Books from two more of my friends. Got cards from co-workers, dinner from one of my best friends ever....and earrings from the other of my best friends ever.
And I bought a dozen pink roses and an "It's A Girl" balloon for MY MOM which I'll deliver to her in the morning since I slept all day long today....again.
Best part of all was Paul got a phone call from an actual PERSON about a job possibility. He has to call them tomorrow to find out the details. THAT would be an AWESOME B-day prezzie as well if it works out for him.
Thanks guys for making this day a special one for me.
I loves you all.
Monday, February 23, 2009
CJs Birthday party was great- but a photo was taken by my daughter and when i asked when my mom had arrived- Julie informed me that the woman in the pic I was referring to was ME!!! On closer inspection- I was shocked to realize it was indeed, me. Not a happy moment in my life considering I will be 49 on Wednesday and my mom is almost 73.
Changes are on the way, believe me.
I am sick. Went home from work with a ...shall we say, "top and bottom disposition"... and have been in bed sleeping for almost the entire time since I got home. Yeah- almost 20 hours worth. I got up awhile ago to get a bit of soup and some liquids to re-hydrate me- and realized I had no tummy settling soup on hand- so I went potty- and made a mad dash for the nearest supermarket to stock some "I don't feel well foods". I even got O.J. which makes my mouth raw because I'm sensitive to citrus acid- but Since my throat is raw from throwing up, I figured it didn't make much difference anyway so i might as well get some Vitamin C in my system.
Good Lord- I just said that in my mind like Paul says it. Vit a min as in Bit a min. Sigh.........
We also got a letter from the Department of the Treasury. Imagine my fear when i saw that a mistake had been made and they had caught it.
Reading further- I realized the "mistake" was to OUR benefit rather than the govt's. How wonderful!!!!
Friday Frank and Marie go for her Ultra-Sound to find out the sex of the baby. Or as Frank puts it..."To find out we're having a Baby Girl".
I think he has his heart SET on a little girl. I think we all do. I mean- 7 BOYS on Franks side- and three on Marie's side- what are the changes of the family getting another BOY this time round???
Either way we'll adore it- just like we do all the boys now- but a bit of PINK and White lace would be nice for a change of scenery.
Don't you think?
Okay- well, my strength is about run out for now.
See ya's next time.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Got there, Pulled it out-, Went to snap a pic......Damn son of a bitchin' thing was dead as a Fucking DOORNAIL.
No Power.......and I didn't bring a charger for it.
(Luckily the girls graciously volunteered to share theirs with me- but it's not quite the same as being able to snap my own.)
So I get home- went to make me a sammich before I go to nap- no F-ing bread in the entire house. Not a slice of ANY kind of bread at ALL. I just BOUGHT bread- 2 loaves of it and haven't made but ONE sammich yesterday and ONE the day before.
What is UP with this week?
I'll be glad when it's over. My B/P can't handle much more of this crappy luck.OMG- and it's time for my Aunt's Visit. I'm going to SNAP!!!!
Call me gestures
Three Woman Sit Down Comedy Show
and a few other topics that we won't mention out loud in the light of day.
I laughed so hard I'm gonna be sore when I wake up. As Karen said- who needs stomach crunches??????
Thanks Karen and Kelly for making my day(night).
(Call me) LMAO!!!!!!!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Total time in office-4 hours.
Bloodwork done-results first of the week.
B/P up-Upped prescribed dosage of Diovan.
Bad news-Put on Low-Sodium Diet. Ugh.
Good news-Went to Publix instead of CVS for scripts fill- saved @35.00.
AWESOME!!( Would say Priceless- but..............)
Going for nap now- exhausted.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Looking at things from HIS perspective is a new experience for me.
And I agree- this time a 2 minute visit in which time she came in saying "Hello Mr M- Let's have a look at that throat", then looked at his throat for LITERALLY 5 seconds, took a throat swab that took about 15 seconds tops, then wrote out prescription for a 10 dollar pill and left the room is NOT justifiable for the 380 dollar bill they presented us with.
And the more I think about it- the more pissed off I get thinking about all the medical bills I've received in the past.
And he isn't joking- he was seriously considering going back to the UK last night when I left for work.
I hope he's feeling a bit more optimistic this morning when he wakes up. I don't like when he's upset.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The program Paul put on the computer for me is absolutely wonderful.
It took me a few minutes to figure it all out- and still have some things to figure out like how to connect the separate rooms into a single house and such....but basically the whole thing is EXACTLY like the building and decorating process that's used in Second Life. And lord knows I spent enough time decorating my friends houses on there!!
The one time my friend Dargon let me "build" on his property, I somehow managed to LOSE half his house in the....."island". I don't know how- I just managed to lose it.
Thankfully he had a restore program in the pkg that allowed him to get it back, and from then on I refused to build. I just rented my residences on there after that debacle.
He just laughed and asked me to decorate it when he finished building it, which I was more than willing to do.
This program is the same thing. You have an inventory of items- then you can change the color and textures of it all to make thousands of combinations.
I would LOVE to be able to re-create my Mini castle from SL. Dargons house wasn't too shabby either, to be honest altho it didn't overlook any water altho it was on an island. Go figure. And besides that,it was the quinisential bachelor pad. There was also my hubbys sky-studio and my sisters beach-house and a desert fort. Neither of them asked me to decorate it for them either.
PD Studio I can understand- There's not much to do to "decorate" a photography studio except hang the pics- and he did that himself. My sister- I was actually glad to let her do it herself- she's never been a really girlly girl but on SL she became a big girly girl in all aspects of life.
All of them were awesome. And besides that- I'm using some of the locations from SL in my new Vampire book because I know those sites like the back of my hand....even after two years gone from there. Illustrations of the places would be nice to have for reference for the book.
Anyway, I've been playing with it now for over 6 hours- so if you don't see me on here for a while, I'm probably playing Barbies.....or this version of it anyway.
Thank you Paulius.
Finally I have the game of my dreams to play.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Yeah- it's been a GREAT weekend so far.
Slept away most of Friday, trying to recover from my B/P episode and think I pretty much succeeded.
Yesterday I did a whole lot of nothing- except try to nap(see yesterdays blog post) and got the kitchen mostly cleared up as well. Then, after making steak dinner for us, Paul and I had a couple of White Russians and watched "Stepbrothers" on ON DEMAND.
I have to say, that movie was so funny at times I thought I was going to pee from laughing so hard. It was completely stupid, horribly immature, absolutely pointless and the two grown men acted like a couple of 8 year olds, but it was bloody HILARIOUS.
Today I got a lot of spring cleaning done thanks to my Grandson Devon who graciously volunteered to come over and help me . We cleared out the Main hallway first, then was going to paint the rest of the hallway-(he LOVES to paint)- but after the clearing out session, I was pooped and so we decided to make it a project for the NEXT weekend I'm off instead. So we went into the living room and we played Fable II for a couple hours. Actually, HE played and got me past the damn troll that I spent 6 hours trying to defeat last time I played. His time to defeat it....less than 10 minutes.
I had to laugh. Well, since we- I mean HE- was doing so well, I let him play on the rest of the time he was here. Good thing too, 'cause he scored me some awesome abilities and got me some mega treasures and great spells too. Yeah- I REALLY like him to come over and play games on MY profile.
Paul says I should play the game and "experience" the game for myself. But I get all KINDS of tense and stressed when it doesn't go my way. I want someone to just get me thru the game so I can not have to do any "missions" or "quests", but just be able to walk around and do a whole lot of ....well, nothing.
So we went out today and I bought a computer program called Total 3D Home Design so I can do just that. A whole lot of nothing except make houses and furnish them.
I missed my calling.
I swear if I could do it over- I'd be going to school after high school and I would have become an architect instead of going into Law Enforcement.
Nothing makes me as calm and peaceful as to be able to clear out a room at home and then re-arrange the furnishings so everything is all clean and fresh and new to look at.
Clay had a knack for that as well. Somewhere amongst all my stored things, is a drawing he did of his dream house. Sort of a cross between a Tudor and a Stone Manor house. It was very detailed with individual stones in the building and window panes and it was even landscaped. If I ever find it, I'll frame it and put it on my wall. That child should have been an architect. He would have been FANTASTIC at it.
Frank is a fantasic Landscaper too. He and his brother had their own Summer lawn-care bussiness back when they were in Middle school. One summer thay were making more weekly than I was at my full time job.
When I remarked one day that if they kept it up I might have to just quit MY job and go to work for them, their response was-(And I kid you NOT)....."You might better wait til we turn 18, Mama, cause the first time you grounded us- we'd fire you."...........
So much for THAT idea!!!!
It still makes me laugh when I think about it, tho.
Julie didn't escape the Gene Pool either. Her house looks like an interior designer decorated it. And she has 4 little boys under the age of 8 to contend with. I only WISH I could keep my house as neat and tidy and put together as hers is....even when she's not expecting company. She certainly has an artistic, creative streak, too.
Well, I'm off here now- Paul is getting ready to install my design stuff. Yay!!!!
Ahhhh- a fun, stress-free weekend....Just what the doctor ordered!!!!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Yeah- I came home yesterday with my B/P seriously high. (I'm going back to the doc early next week)
So I'm sill not feeling real good or 100 %, but when we got home from buying sustenance, Paul decided to go to bed since he couldn't sleep last night....and for ONCE it wasn't me and my snoring keeping him awake.( I would know since he would have told me if it was.)
Anyway- he asked me to wake him in a couple three hours so we could cuddle on the couch and watch a movie and not waste our time together on my long weekend off. I suggested that I would clean the house a bit and then come nap with him and we could get up in a FEW hours and spend awake time together. So he goes off to bed- I straighten up a bit and then I go lie down for that nap.
About 40 minutes pass and Buddy, who I couldn't bear to lock in his room again, starts growling....a low deep throated growl that is a bad sign for anyone who is in contact with him...I get up and cautiously warn him that it's me and he tears into the living room and then stands there growling for a few minutes. I check out the windows and open the front door- nothing is there. Nothing at ALL.
So I tell him it's okay and send him back to his room. Lo and behold- just as I get to sleep good, again he's tearing into the hallway and barking his brains out. So I throw my clothes back on and go to investigate again. Meanwhile he's running back and forth from the bedroom door to the front hallway and door and acting like he's completely lost his mind.
Again, I check everything- even going so far as to go OUTSIDE and check the car to make sure no one has tampered with the gas-tank(stealing gas) or left a door open(they were locked as usual).
Nothing. I go back inside and he's sitting in the living room floor whining at the carpet.
Oh. That again. So now I'm wide awake again, and shaking because it's what happens when I just get asleep and don' get to finish it out.
Damn Invisible Carpet Monsters.
SOME "UNKNOWN" FACTS
I can't vouch for the validity of these facts....but it certainly was some interesting reading!!!!
Don't Bother Baby.
I don't find Val/Day especially enamoring either but for totally different reasons.
I always had tons of cards and gifts on that day from my B/F and/or boys who just wanted to be my BF. But they all turned out to be HUGE losers in one way or another. You show me every single day how much you love me by ...well, you know how.... not just by buying candy and flowers and jewelry on ONE freaking day of the year.
Plus, in addition to those simple daily things you do- thruout the year you surprise me with things like a rose, or a card or making my favorite dinner which, I know from trying to make it on my own, is a royal pain in the arse to make. But you do it because you LOVE me.
Besides- all I need or want is for you to be here WITH me on Valentines Day. Those five years we were apart trying to get you over here so we could get married was horrible and all I really want is to be able to cuddle with you on the couch and kiss. You KNOW this is true.
I'm a VERY happy woman- don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Happy Valentines day My Love. XXX
Friday, February 13, 2009
Had nurse Supervisor check my B/P an hour ago....
Nauseous and lightheaded, I've mostly been in my office since about midnight or so, unable to carry out my duties for fear of passing out.
Needless to say, I'm going to be happy to get home and in my bed. I only wish I didn't have so far to drive home.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My hubby doesnt believe in celebrating Valentines day on February 14th- he does it randomly thru-out the year.
And today was one of those wonderful days.
Isn't he just the PERFECT Man????
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
.....when you want to do something and it's really important that you do it right THEN- and just as you get the computer on to do it, you forget what it was and then you can't remember for the LIFE of you what it was or WHY it was so important to do it RIGHT THEN?..........Well, until later and then it's too late.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Coq Au Vin
Makes 6 servings
6 pieces skinless chicken(I use reg thighs and boneless breasts but use whatever you like.You can also easily increase the amount of chicken to double without changing the rest of the recipe.)
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups red wine
1 & 1/2 cups sliced mushrooms
2 slices bacon
1 cup onions(I like the pearl onions- but any onion will do)
1 TBspoon dried thyme
2 cloves garlic OR 1 teaspoon garlic powder.
salt and pepper to taste
2 Tablespoons Butter
Brown bacon in skillet. Remove bacon from pan. Brown chicken on both sides in bacon grease. Remove chicken from Pan. Sautee onions, garlic, and mushrooms in skillet for about three minutes on high heat.
- Crockpot method: Place chicken, chicken broth, wine, mushrooms, onions, & bacon bits, in a crockpot on low for 4-8 hours.
- Stovetop method: Place chicken, chicken broth, wine, mushrooms, onions & bacon bits, in a large deep saucepan and bring to a boil for 30-45 minutes until the chicken is cooked through but still tender.
- Remove the chicken, onions and most of the mushrooms, keeping the liquid in the pan or crockpot. If using a crockpot, turn the crockpot up to high.
- Add 2 Tablespoons Butter to the reserved liquid and stir.
- Bring to a boil with stirring and cook until thickened.(About 3 minutes). Salt and pepper as desired.
- Serve over cooked noodles or potatoes(my fav) with the sauce.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
I really do mean that- I'm not being sarcastic at all.
In response to Paulius' blog-post about my snoring.......
I don't LIKE my snoring either- it disturbs MY sleep as well as Paul's and I know on the occasions Paul snores it can be aggravating for the person not asleep- or woken up by the snoring. I also have horrible dreams on the nights I have bad snoring. Things like I'm drowning or I'm under the weight of a collapsed building and can't get out. Sometimes even if i'm having a good dream about Paul kissing me it turns into me not being able to break the kiss and me smothering and then I wake up gasping for air and I KNOW I've had a sleep apnea episode and I've been snoring and stopped breathing.
It's damn scary. Sometimes I'm afraid Paul is going to wake up one morning with me dead having stopped breathing sometimes in the night.
I know my weight has a LOT to do with my snoring. I'm losing it- but, God, it's going slowly.
I'm supposed to be using a C-Pap machine- but my insurance won't cover it and so I can't afford the 400 dollars a month they require for me to rent it.
I've had an offer of someone to buy it for me- but now in order to do that, I'll have to go for yet ANOTHER sleep study and get the doctor to write out another prescription for the machine- and all that will cost time away from work which I can't afford either.
And with the C-Pap machine comes even more problems. Those things are LOUD!!!
It's like having a wind machine next to your head. I don't know which is worse- the sound of snoring or the sound of the machine. Plus there's all those hoses and the face-mask you have to wear and if the hoses get pinched the machine sets off an alarm and wakes you up til it's fixed. There's also the condensation that occurs and it CAN get in your nose and throat and strangle you and that's one rude-awful way to wake up as well. And you can only sleep in one position and it's not a comfortable one at all and when you wake up you have all these marks on your face from the mask and hoses and they take a couple of hours to go way and for you to look normal again and not like some alien or someone into weird kink. It's horrible.
I never used to snore. Maybe just losing the weight will get rid of the problem. Until then, we'll just have to try and endure.
Maybe he won't divorce me before then.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Why is it making this sound? Not ALL the time- but for just part of the time we have it on.
It's driving me freaking INSANE listening to it!!!!
Quiet!!! I need QUIETness in a computer!!!! I can't concentrate to write with a blender buzzing beside me.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
But it's definitely cold here now- about 33 degrees.
My fingers are numb. My toes are numb. My BUTT is numb.
Hell, I think my HAIR is numb at this point.
And don't y'all people in the Iced and Snowed up states be telling me all about how I don't KNOW what cold is and how y'all got ice storms and all cause I'm not there and it's all about ME being cold.
Cold is Cold. There are no DEGREES of cold when I am numb from the cold.
I'm taking my gown back to the consignment shop this evening.
The train is still wet about two inches from the end- but if it's not dry by dinnertime I'll see about drying it with my hair dryer before I go.
Tonight for dinner Paul is making ME cook since he INSISTS that he cooked for me yesterday before I went to work. And technically he's right...he did cook for us and then I went off and forgot it in the fridge like i usually do when i have something made to take for lunch at work.
I say that technically since I didn't eat it doesn't count as him making dinner for me- but he insists it DOES- so we're at an impass.
And I'm hungry so I'm making Beef Stroganoff and Chocolate Cobbler. Warm me up kinds of food.
And yes- it may be a boxed version of Stroganoff, but I "fix" it by adding seasonings and extra sour cream to the convenience food- so it COUNTS as "from Scratch".
And the Chocolate Cobbler is TOTALLY from scratch.
Have you ever HAD Chocolate Cobbler?
Some call it Mud Pudding.
Kids LOVE it.
Chocoholics love it.
Therefore, I love it.
When I eat it and warm up- then I will have sympathy for you people in those iced and snowed up states because then i will be warm.
I'm sorry- see what a BITCH I become when I am miserable????
Look over me, Y'all.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Frugal and Tasty- her recipes are a delight for both your wallet AND your taste-buds.
I liked her so much I put it on my Bloglist and plan on going there often.
Too bad I didn't find her last month- she has a Mini Boston Creme Pie recipe that would have been SOOOO great for Paul's Birthday Profiteroles instead of that mangled mess I tried. I WILL be trying it again using HER version tho.....I'll let you know how it comes out.
But now I'm off to make Hobo Packets.
Okay, so last night Paul and I were sitting around goofing off (something we rarely get to do because we worry so much about crap we can do nothing about).
I LOVE it when I can totally flabbergast my reserved Brit hubby and render him speechless, so after a few minutes of quiet I mischievously glanced over at Paul and casually suggested that "you should get me "Likkered up" and take advantage of me tonight."
The Look on his face was priceless!! Oogied him out something AWEFUL, it did.
So this morning we wake up- I've completely forgotten about it...and almost the first thing out of his mouth in his very best Billy-Bob Thornton "SlingBlade" voice was "You Ortter get me likkered up and take advantage uh me ter-night....it'd go real good with sum 'em 'air freench-fried taters.....Uhhhh -huhhhh."
I was the one flabbergasted then. EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! GROSSSSSSS!!!!
He does know how to turn the tables on me when I get his goat. I won't be doing THAT to him again.
To my wedding gown, that is.
I tried to say goodbye back before the holidays but it wouldn't let me.
I had taken it to the uptown consignment shop and hadn't really looked at it since I had had it cleaned and had put it back in the bag the week after getting back from our honeymoon in Moose-pooh, Montana. It seems it somehow sneaked a tiny streak of stain on it somehow, even tho it had been hanging in the back of the closet in the bag for almost four and a half years. Tina called me and asked if I realized it had the stain on it and suggested I come up and look at it before deciding what to do with it.
So I went and when we pulled it out and sure enough there was a stain on it-in the folds and it went all the way down thru the 9 layers of organza and silk to the underskirt. And horror of horrors- there were also PIT satins under the arms. GROSS!!!!
I was at a loss at what to do about it tho- the gown had been dry-cleaned(supposedly) and I doubted after four years of the stains setting in it would do any good to have it cleaned again(even at a different cleaner) and it cost almost $200 to have it cleaned the first time because it was so huge as you can see from the photo here on the blog. We had decided that $350 was a fair price to set for it in a consignment shop- (it cost $2,450 originally and I paid $1900 for it on sale) and she keeps 10% of the sale price so it really wasn't worth the time and money to have it dry-cleaned again.We discussed it and I decided I would try and figure out what to do with it and call to let her know later- after the holidays. I had too much going on during the holidays to do anything before then.
So, a couple of weeks ago Paul and I were in Ingles or Wally World- I can't remember which- and I saw a small container of OXYCLEAN- yeah- the stuff that Billy whatever his name is that Paul detests his adverts because he's always excited and yelling trying to tell you how GREAT HIS PRODUCT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, this particular product IS that GREAT.
I fully intended to take the gown to a launderette and put it in a jumbo front loading washer and then add the stuff to see if it worked. BUT- then I read the instructions on how to use it- and it needs to be added to the water before adding the clothing to the water. Can't do THAT with a front loading washer and that's the only size washer that the gown would fit in without it either ruining the delicate materials of the gown or the washing machine being overloaded and it tearing up the washer. So again, I was stumped.
Then last night, I got a brilliant idea. I had nothing to lose- if the gown didn't get cleaned I was going to just have to either trash it because it was unsaleable with the stains on it or put it back in the closet to use for something(God knows WHAT unless I dyed it black for a goth wedding and sold it that way or maybe as a halloween costume but I HATED that idea for my WEDDING GOWN) but either way I was getting NO or not much money for it. So I went into the bathroom- ran some HOT HOT water in the tub and filled it 3/4 full and added the OXYCLEAN and a tiny bit of detergent and then added the wedding gown to the mix. I made sure all of the wedding gown was immersed, then hand agitated it and watched in amazement as the most visible stains under the arms disappeared before my very eyes. I agitated it for about 5 minutes and then let it soak for abou 10 more minutes and then let the water out and refilled it with more hot water and rinsed it. Then I let it drain for a few minutes and then I hung it up on the shower curtain rod to let it drip dry.
I looked this morning and it's all dry except for the two inches of gown that are at the very end of the gown. And it looks beautiful!!!!! So, soon as it dries completely- I'm off to take it back to the shop. And that should FINISH paying for our car.
A very fair trade I would say.
So......... if you have a stain or just want your laundry brighter or can't seem to get the dinginess out of your whites- Get some OxyClean. It worked for me.
See, No yelling....just a testimonial in a normal "voice".
Sunday, February 01, 2009
We went out driving for a while this afternoon and dropped by the DMV so Paul could practice for a few minutes.
I was fully expecting an afternoon of nerve wracking lunacy on BOTH our parts.
What actually happened?.... I tried it first in the new car & aced it then turned it over to Paul for a go.
His First time- not even close...Second time- almost perfect......Third time-he barely clipped the curb trying to get it JUST PERFECT...........Fourth, Fifth and Sixth time- Absolutely Perfect.
Then coming home- my blood pressure shot up-my blood sugar dropped like a stone- and I got a splitting migraine that made me so nauseous I couldn't hold my head up and Paul ended up driving all the way home after stopping to get me something to eat to raise my blood sugar.
(NO- this has NOTHING to do with Paul's driving- it just happens very quickly like that sometimes when I get migraines. One minute I'm fine- the next-literally- I'm completely incapacitated.)
Now my B/P is back down to normal and my blood sugar is back up to normal, but the migraine is still going on altho it has eased a bit.
I'm SO glad my hubby can drive now.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME:
DATING (Outside the Family):
TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS:
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language that most of us share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
If the rule is "I before E, except after C", why isn't the word weird spelled wierd?
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
10 GOOD Things That happened for me last month.....
1) It rained like a dog for a couple of days and the roof didn't leak.
2)It snowed some flurries but didn't stick and make a big honking mess to drive in.
3) I got in a bit of overtime at work and that meant having a bit of extra money instead of just squeaking by.
4) We were offered a better car and got rid of the deathtrap we had.
5) I lost a few pounds.
6)I got lots of massages from my hubby.
7)I got to read a great new(new to me, anyway) vampire book series.
8)I started writing a new book- now I have 4 in the works and I switch off working on them when I get writers block for any given one.
9)I went to the salon and had a shampoo, cut and style-something I very RARELY do for myself- and it only cost me 15 dollars!!! How great is that??(But then- I only had my hair trimmed an inch so there wasn't too much actual CUTTING involved.) ;-)
10) My hubby had a birthday AND got his drivers permit so He drives most of the time now.
All in all- I'd say it was an AWESOME month!!!!!!
A cute little something I found.........I may try a couple of these myself.
Top 10 Answering Machine Messages
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
Hi. Now YOU say something.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
And the Number 1 Answering Machine Message...
Hello, you've reached Angela and Seal. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Angela likes doing it up and down, with her socks on and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.