Well, That's Interesting!!! And a Mystery!!!

 

Well, our family reunion was a few weeks ago and things got very interesting there.

A few of us have been thinking about/ discussing getting our DNA tested for ancestry for a couple of years now. We have a few relatives that are deep into family history/origins. Granny & PaPa had 18 children and of the 11 that survived to adulthood, we got a LOT of family diversity going on. From WAY BACK- It's not a new thing for our Clan.

From a few comments from our PaPa and Granny have given us reason to believe we have some characters in our forefathers- and Foremothers, for that fact. You wouldn't believe some of the things we have discovered......or maybe you would. LOL

So my cousin Stacy actually got hers done and the results came back just before the reunion... and what she found out makes me want to get mine done even more than ever. 

Turns out her dominate origin is African. All the rest (4 other bloodlines)are almost 9% equal parts.

Now if you knew our family, we are certainly a Matriarchal Clan. Our women are headstrong, hardworking, and go about running everything with an iron fist- there isn't a weak or quiet one of the bunch and our men don't usually dare argue with us once our mind is made up and we have laid down the law about how it's going to go. Well, except maybe Odessa- she's the quietest one of us but she can certainly get her dander up in a split second too.

We  totally understand "why" we are all characteristically the same if Stacy's results are the average for us all. And as I said- I want to have mine done more than ever. I think Maybe I'll find out if my sisters want to get ours done at the same time for Sisters Day in August.(August 2nd to be exact.)

There was a point a few years before my Daddy passed, I found a photo of me as a baby- around 1 year old- and it had some faded writing on the back of it. It took me a couple of days to decipher the writing, but what I found made me question my parents and my aunts- one in particular because the writing matched hers specifically. Even tho everyone denied I was adopted, I still to this day have my suspicions. 

But the weirdest part of it was- it was the picture of me my Daddy carried around in his wallet all those years. (No- I wasnt snooping, Daddy got a new wallet for Christmas and he was switching things over to see if it would work and I was there and saw the pic and asked him could I keep it a couple days- and I did & then gave it back to him).

I just have so many unanswered- or answered but still under investigation-questions. The thing is- would a DNA test be of any use to prove or disprove my theory/suspicions since both my mom and dad are passed and my Auntie in question  wouldn't take the DNA test to disprove anything?

Am I going to have to wait til I get to heaven to ask Jesus- or will I know the truth automatically once I get there? 

Oh- speaking of- Y'all Dads have a Very Happy Fathers Day Sunday!!! 

I.T. Guys- Modern Day Heros

 Yeah- came into the office and my computer black screened on me.

Having been married(technically still am) to an I.T. Guy, I know the drill and followed it to the letter.. then I called the company I.T. Guy and went thru the drill with him. 

*Have you turned it off and on again?(Yes sir- twice.)

*Did you check the connections on the back of the monitor? (Yes sir)

* Are you comfortable with unplugging them and plugging them back in one at a time while we are on the phone together? (Sure- no problem) takes about 3 minutes to do them one at a time with a 10 second wait  between each unplug and re connect....

Then  he said he would send a technician out today at some point before 4pm. Less than a minute later he's calling back asking can he connect remotely to try and fix it. I said sure but I have a black screen so not sure how I'm going to be able to accept the request.... somehow he managed to connect so he could see what was on my screen and he walked me thru yet another set of instructions to try and fix it. 

And Lo & Behold- it worked!!! 

I know I complain a lot about things on my blog posts, but one thing I will never complain about is the I.T. Guys from ANYWHERE. 

Those guys put up with some of the stupidest  questions ever. But then if someone knows absolutely nothing about computers, they don't know what to ask or how to troubleshoot an issue. 

I have to say I learned a good bit just listening to my husband talk about the issues he had to deal with on a daily.

His biggest complaint was people who called up thinking it could be fixed in 30 seconds or less- or the ones who thought that their problems were more important than the ones of people who had already raised a ticket for issues and were waiting on them to be fixed. Unless you are a V.I.P. and I mean a VERY HIGH UP V.I.P. you ain't getting bumped up to the top of the que. And rightly so.

After setting up my new laptop and struggling 3 days (it would have taken an I.T. Guy about  an hour and a half or two maybe) I'm quite willing to call my I.T. Guys Modern Day Heros.

Craig, Evan, and Paul.... Kudos!!!!

Another Bits and Bobs Post!!!

 What a week it has been!!!

My son was sent to the ER with Severe dehydration issues. It took 4 bags of IV fluid to get him stabilized. The doctor said my son was so dehydrated that his organs was starting to shut down. Thank God his boss realised what was happening and sent him to the hospital when he did. He's doing better now- and making a point of staying hydrated properly.- making sure WE all are too. I think it was an eye opening moment for him.

I was listening to NPR this morning and heard about our illustrious leader's 80th Birthday bash on the White House lawn. Seriously? I can totally understand the want of a blowout birthday for your 80th- but FFS- he really had to do it on the White House property? At this point I've just lost all respect for the man and I don't think anything he does from here on out would surprise me.

Got a lead on a house for rent(again with the renting but it is what it is, I suppose)- turned out to be yet another scammer - just for the Application Fees. I don't know where these people drug themselves out of- swamp, tar pits, under a rock, deepest darkest pit of hell- but they are EVERYWHERE now- Just for the fee to see if you qualify for  the residence. Now I ask you- how in the HELL do you know which are legit and which are scammers? PLEASE tell me if you know because my area is eaten up with the Non-Legit kind!!!

GNATS!! OMG they are in full blown over-drive breeding mode here. Are they like this all over or just in the Southern States?

One last thing- if anyone has found a big bag(or envelope) of money(I'm not picky)- There's a possibility that it may be the one I've been praying for, so let me know and I'll come pick it up. I have a reward in mind for you. Hahahahahahaha.....

I want to go to the lake- or river- on a fishing trip. If I ever get my Ford Ranger running I'm putting the camper cover back on it and putting a mattress in the back of it and installing a fishing rod rack- (kinda like a gun rack)  and I'm gonna go fishing for a few days. Maybe just me and Jesus. Maybe me and my sister....maybe me and one of my cousins - as long as they dont wanna bring a truckload of equipment and are quiet.

I don't wanna hear no mobile phones ringing or pinging or nothing- just the sounds of nature and my breathing....maybe a fire crackling for an hour or so before I go to bed... maybe not. 

I just need quiet.... and peace for a few days.

Taking the Plunge.

 Ever make a decision and then stress that it's the wrong one?

Me either. I'm usually fed up with the entire deal when I finally give up. I try to exhaust every possibility before throwing in the towel - in EVERY situation.

I like to give it time to change, to let nature do it's thing, to let people see the error of their ways and at least TRY to do better. But situations sometimes just go more and more off the rail until there's nothing left to do but jump clear and try to save yourself- or your sanity.

I've taken this approach many times in my sixty odd levels on this earth and it's worked a charm every time- so far.

Say a prayer it works for me one more time now.

We Shall See....

Cum 'si- Cum 'sa...

 Wellll... at this point my expectations for relaxation need to be lowered considerably.

I wrote in my earlier post what my weekend was supposed to be. Fun-filled relaxation with my two besties.

Some so-so-.... and some not.

I got off work a bit early on Friday to go get a BP check and have a lil once over about my wrist and shoulder. MEH- Of course my BP was still thru the roof and my shoulder and wrist are just my carpal tunnel and a bit of arthritis thrown in just for good measure. Just typical aging ...I'm already wearing a support brace on the wrist and babying the shoulder so I'm doing all that can be done for it without surgery(which is NOT going to happen anytime soon.)

So I drove to Bestie R's house after work. But first-Of ALL the things to forget to bring- I forgot my civvie shoes. Sooo on the way there I had to stop at like five different discount stores because I have about eight pair of civvie shoes at home(not counting boots) and I wasnt about to spend more than ten dollars on a pair of shoes I was going to wear just out to lunch on Saturday and then them go right back off when we got home.  I got lucky at the fifth store and found a pair of(get this) GREEN suede sneakers with white laces that matched EXACTLY my green and white tie-dye romper outfit I had chosen to wear to lunch with the girls!!! A $3 SCORE!!!!!! Only all that running around set me back time wise and I got there about a half hour past the time I normally get home(Rhonnies) from work going straight there. SMH laughing....

So anyway- I got there and she had gnats in her apartment- I mean it was COVERED. If it hadn't been such a big deal weekend I would have turned around and went straight back home to Starr. I'm allergic to gnat and mosquito bites- they leave HUGE knots wherever I'm bitten. I most certainly didnt want to be miserable and sick for the next few days- so I had to leave and rethink my battleplan.

So I went and got something to eat and a nice cool drink and sat in my car in the shade of a huge water oak for about an hour and then I drove back to Rhonni's. (She hadn't wanted to ride with me when I left) I put on long sleeves and stayed in my work clothes and I gathered up as much of the culprits as I could and then I made up some traps and sprayed a bit and we went out and sat on her front porch people watching and gossiping as old ladies are often seen doing. 

Eventually we got all sweaty... I mean Glisteny... and decided to go back inside. The  critters had pretty much died by then so I showered and then I swept and mopped and then we watched a movie and settled down for the night.

The next morning, disaster struck.  Rhonni came down with a bad tummy upset and she didnt want to chance going out. So I called my sister and invited her to meet me and Joanie at the restaurant and Joanie invited her daughter as well. I couldn't not go as it was Joanie's birthday celebration as well and she has been looking even more forward to it than Rhonni had been.

Now mind you, Joanie and Rhonni and myself have been friends for almost 6 decades (My baby sister grew up with us as well- and Joanie and my other sister were married to the same guy- (sis first then Rhonni and I introduced Joanie and my ex-br-in-law to each other and in less than 6 months they had gotten married and stayed married until he passed away a few years ago- match made in heaven)- we got up to a LOT of shenanigans when we were younger...still do but that's stories for another time.... And as we all sat in the restaurant, Tabitha  kept getting embarrassed everytime we would say something- we was being extremely obnoxious- for some reason we seem to automatically revert to being about fifteen when we get together. My sis just joined in and everyone was laughing at poor Tabby....  She kept saying she wanted to hear the story behind some of the references we were making, but her mom(Joanie) said not in a million years. 

I told Tabby to wait til we all had passed and I would have a copy of my memoirs sent to her as it's alllll in there. Hahahahaha.

Anyway, Joanie loved her paintings -one a  landscape I redid from a painting Joanie had bought but couldn't stand to look at on the wall for more than an hour because it depressed her so badly even tho she loved the colours in it. It was a lovely silhouette of a lady in a form-fitting gown standing by a window looking down- it gave the eerie feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. I had it over 6 months before I finally figured out that if I changed the viewpoint/orientation from Portrait to Landscape I could easily  duplicate the lovely colours and turn it into a pretty well known Southwestern mesa arch with a lovely sunset and a bit of a river in front of it. She loved the outcome. And the other was one I had commissioned just for her- I know an artist who painted a lovely portrait of Janis Joplin who is Joanie's Fav Music Artist. 

For Rhonni I painted two white with shaded of victorian pink florals for her bedroom and a Fearfully Created Piece of Art to be framed and hung in her home-where to be decided later.

All was a hit.

So after Lunch, we parted ways and I went back to Rhonnis for the rest of the weekend, and for the past at least year she's been trying to rearrange her living room. We've discussed it to death to be honest- and this time I just got up and started moving things around.  Her floors are slick as the proverbial Owl-Poop, so it only took a light touch to move into place and no further harming of the shoulder or wrist came to be.

At first she wasnt sure about it- but I told her to trust the process- it always looks like a cyclone hit the place right before it came together. And it did... In the end- she loved it-only  I'm not so keen. the sofa is slightly curved on the backside and it overlaps the edge of the fireplace by about 4 inches and I do-not-like. I'm going to let her live with it for a couple of weeks, but I would put money on her seeing for herself it's slightly off and wanting to change it again. (at least I hope so or it's going to bug the crap out of me til she does.)

Sunday Morning bright and early, she was sleeping soundly and I got up around 6:30am... I grabbed a iced coffee from her fridge and went out to her front porch where I proceeded to transfer her tomato plants from the seedling cups to the huge container she had planned to put out front  for them. Then I watered it.

Then I filled the other matching container and mounded it high in the center and sprinkled her wildflower seeds all over the top and gave it a good soaking as well.

So now she is good to go on her little front garden- if she can remember to go out and give them a drink of water on the days it's doesnt rain.

So then she woke up and I stayed for about an hour more letting her get used to the idea of me heading out- then I loaded up and headed for home. 

I didnt get the relaxing weekend I had envisioned, but I did get a bit of relaxing activities in which I was grateful for. 

And Rhonni and I are planning to surprise Joanie on her birthday by just showing up at the place she usually goes during the week- ON her birthday!! 

What is it they say about the best laid plans??? LOL- we shall see!!!

Finally Friday!!!!

 I hope y'all have as safe & fabulous weekend as I plan on having! I'm sure I'll come back with a few stories to tell about the shenanigans .....

HAPPY FRIYAY!!!!!!!

Cant Wait Until Tomorrow

A Weekend Away. From Friday 3pm until 3pm Sunday afternoon. No Stress- no worries- just playtime with my childhood friends.

No Computers- I love being on mine- but every once in a while I take a whole weekend away from it. 

No Phones- however I will answer EMERGENCY CALLS.*

*How will I know if it's an emergency call you might ask? I have a hard and fast rule- If I don't answer and you know it's an electronic free weekend- hang up and IMMEDIATELY call back. I know it's an emergency then and will answer.

Just going to sit on my butt with my two 50+ year besties( that's how long we been friends- not their ages- that's a few years more than that) and chill- watch movies, eat ice cream for breakfast and stay in our Jim-Jams all day if we want to(easier to nap if you are already in your Jim-Jams, eh?), reminisce about when we were younger....I'm SOOOO glad there was no internet and social media in our days!!!! If it rains we might go out and walk in the rain like when we was little too. See who can make the biggest highest splash in the puddles. I aint carrying no stupid umbrella either. I need to ground myself. I haven't went barefoot and walked in the grass in ages!!! 

So if you're out and about and see three elderly(ish) women acting a fool in the rain in their Jim-Jams- happily splashing around and giggling like 6 year olds.... Either give us a wave.... mind your biddness... or even better- Join Us!!!! :D

I'm counting down the minutes....no- the SECONDS!!!!!

I'm Not Ready...

 So on the drive in to work this morning I heard a advert about E-Cars.

They said E Cars run an average of 42 miles on a charge and that's more than the average person drives in a day- you can drop the kids at school, go to work, pick up groceries on the way to pick up the kids after school- and still have enough to visit the in-laws in the next county.

All without buying any gas- so apparently, according to THEM, E-cars are THE way of the future.

 But- are they really?

Not in my opinion.

I'm not your "average" driver. I drive about 12 miles more than the 42 from a charge will take me and that's just ONE WAY. There also aren't NEARLY enough charging ports at my sites- one site doesnt even have ANY, let alone along the way on my trip to and from work- I cant think if a single place along my route that DOES have one to be honest.

I don't think most towns/cities/counties are nearly ready for an increase in E-traffic issues. E-cars would only be useful  and viable in big cities/States like Cali, New York- and maybe a few more progressive cities/states like...tbh- I can't even think of anyplace else except maybe- and I do mean MAYBE- Las Vegas??? 

And what about the costs? Is the cost of the electricity to charge them actually less or equal to the cost of gas- or does it exceed the cost of gas now? How about repairs on an E-Car? I can tell you right now I dont think your typical hometown garage- or backyard mechanic we rely on has the capabilities to do proper repairs on one of the E-Cars.

I know I'm not ready on a personal level for it.... but maybe that's just me?

Time For a Change- But Not What You Think

 Did I mention I have arthritis in my right side? Everything- ankle, knee, hip, shoulder and wrist. Everything hurts. I had a surgery for carpal tunnel on my right wrist years ago and that helped a bit. The arthritis seems to flare when it's storm season tho still.

Well, about 3 months ago now my left wrist has started to show the same early signs as the right one. It hurts to drive, to write, to type, to cook or clean, and most importantly- to use a keyboard to game. ;)

I've got a doc appointment to have it looked at Friday. Already wearing the wrist support brace like when it started in the right wrist.

Now I didnt start out playing on a PC- I started out on an Xbox. With a Controller. It was soooo frustrating to learn to use the controller. But I did it.

Then I got a gaming laptop and realized that  using a keyboard was so  much more straightforward than a controller. So for the past thirteen or so years I've been using a keyboard.

Well, the pain from "running" everywhere when I'm hunting in a game (Very awkward positioning of the fingers and thumb) has really become so painful I almost cry. My sister, who games with me sometimes, noticed and bought me an Xbox controller so I wouldn't be in so much pain- therefore I can game more often. I love my thoughtful sister. Only she would notice and do something like that!!!

Now, mind you, I have been playing Ranch Simulator for about  five years. Have almost 3k hours invested in this one game- it's my fav, can you tell? I've been playing since the early release days- one of the first to buy it on release day. Had a bit of input into how it was improved and what bugs it had that needed to be fixed. I got my daughter playing it about 6 months after that and now finally got my sister playing. 

I love this game. It gives me the freedom and quiet I cant find in my daily life.  In it I'm a property owner- and I can build and hunt to my heart's desire. If I'm frustrated, I can load the game and  head off to the hills to hunt bear and wolves and foxes and deer to vent my frustrations with real life. Everyone benefits from it and best part- I dont have to spend real life money to drive to do it!!! And if I want some company- I just let Baby Girl or Sis know I'm going to be on playing and I host a fun hunting party!!

Now, having played so long I pretty much know all the little tricks and tips and shortcuts. (altho the new fishing side quest has me stumped- still can't catch a fish for love nor money....YET).

Sometimes I just go hiking to see what can be seen or done. I know they keyboard commands like a pro on this game. Mainly because I don't play games like a normal person and by just going on hikes and building and such I've memorised it- It's like being blind from birth and having learned it bit by bit and I'm in control. 

But-not so much now. A TINY bit of using the controller came back as second nature, but now I'm like someone who went to bed able to see and woke up totally blind... sis has always mostly played her games with a controller. So now the roles have reversed. I'm having to ask her where is this command or that command again? Which one picks things up- and how the hell to I access my weapon quickly?.. what is the process again so I don't die when attacked by a wolf or bear..... (you learn to save everytime you pass a save station and I've adjusted my Auto-save to 5 minutes now vs 20 minutes on keyboard.)

I also don't have a comfortable desk to work from. I've been playing sitting on my bed or on the sofa. But that has got to stop. Today I plan on going and getting be a comfy supportive  gaming chair- not one exclusively made for gaming but a desk chair of some sort that works for me. I might be able to convert my old sewing machine cabinet into a small computer desk possibly.....or I could make one like I did my vanity table when I was in England with a couple of file cabinets  and a lovely piece of wood. I actually have my old round coffee table in the basement that is too big for my Living room, but cut in half with a half moon cutout might be just the thing I need for a vanity table/computer desk for my bedroom. 

I'll have to look into it.

Anyway, It's going to be fun to  re-learn controller commands.... my sister and daughter are laughing at me because I'm playing like a newb... I wont get out of the vehicles in Bear or wolf territory. LOL- I'll get over that- as soon as I can have a few days of playing around with it a bit with no pressure to HAVE to do anything.  I hope.... 

Death Count from Day One(yesterday) using the Controller- 2

The Joys of Change!!!!

It's Not Always A Migraine...

 The past week and few days, I've had a horrible migraine that I just can't seem to get rid of.

My son brought his Blood Pressure monitor with him when he came to stay his birthday weekend with me. His Birthday was Saturday and we really made a weekend of it.... or that was the plan.

He measured his sisters first, then he hooked me up to it. 

To say it wasnt good is the understatement of the year.

177/105.... The migraine was my blood pressure rising steadily. 

I was able to stop taking my meds last year and control it by diet and exercise- just like my blood sugar levels. But something(I have plenty of ideas what those somethings could be) has triggered the issues again and I need to get it all under control again . I simply do NOT want to have to go back on a dozen meds every day to keep everything regulated. I refuse.

I'm guessing the stress of my family being sick from the moldy basement the landlord is too cheap to fix, my job(several issues in that one I won't go into again because there's nothing I can do to fix them and those who can fix em wont), the long tedious commute back and forth to work every day alongside the ever-rising price of fuel, my slow  and steady weight gain that isn't being arrested no matter how careful I am with my diet and exercise, my attempts at container gardening seem to be going nowhere fast(we are in extreme drought alternating with heavy thunderstorms and its still not helping the veggies at all...) a couple of family drama issues going on aren't helping matters either..and last but not least- not having any vacation days in two years..... I'm pretty sure that is a BIG contributor right up on the list with the mold thing. 

I did do a couple of paintings this weekend for my besties birthday this coming weekend, and that really was helpful- it calmed me down a bit altho my BP numbers didnt lower but one on the bottom number.  I'm just really upset that I couldn't do more with my son on his 44th birthday because I had to stay still and quiet and comfortable to keep my BP from elevating even higher. I was already in prime Stroke territory and I most surely didnt want that disaster added to my list of Sh!+ that's going wrong.

On the upside, I have a quiet celebration up in Easley planned with my two besties this weekend for their birthdays so it's almost like a mini vacation for me.

I'm praying it's the respite I need.

    

Our Ray Of Sunshine .....

 Today I said goodbye to one of my work friends.

Her name is Barbara and she is/soon to be was/ the company nurse.

As long as I have been here, she's always been going about her business with a smile on her face and nothing but good things to say about any situation. She's been a breath of spring to all us around her. I will miss her dearly as she always brightened my day when I was struggling. 

Good Luck with your retirement Ms. Barbara. May you always feel as joyful as you made us feel!!! xxx

AI Mudslinging...

 First of all, I hate AI. 

Second of all, I hate Mudslinging, particularly in Political campaigns.

I have a hard and fast rule- play clean. If you indulge yourself in a mudslinging campaign, you will NOT get my vote. Even if I have to write in Mickey Mouse or Goofy as my choice of candidate.

If you can't win an election on your merits alone- you're not the candidate for me.

So now the hopefuls are REALLY playing dirty by using AI generated Mudslinging. 

It's already hard enough to weed out the facts and it's now doubly  difficult to judge what is REAL and what is AI nonsense.

Why do candidates think it's fair play to Mudsling at all? Now they think it's a good idea to create drama with AI as well? 

Why would I trust anyone to lead the country with that type of mentality? 

Stop it you IDIOTS! 

Rock and a Hard Place... Here or There.... Stay or Go??

 It's all about the job.

Fighting battles just to see someone else undo everything I have built up. 

No Rest for the weary and burnt out.

Something has GOT to give... and I'm done giving.

Decisions, Decisions.

Not At All The Relaxing Weekend I Had Envisioned!!

  So... this weekend wasnt as relaxing as I thought it was going to be. 

It didnt rain nearly as much as the "Weathermen"/"Meteorologists" had predicted!!! Bloody Liars. But I suppose it was okay. My sister and her friend delivered a new(to me) top loading washing machine. It works divinely!!!! Sooo happy about that!!

Then my daughter got a call from her eldest- Lexi thought she might be in actual labor and Julie had agreed to come stay with the other 3 babies so TJ and Lexi could enjoy being with and focusing on getting to know the new baby after it was born before coming home with her.

That's 4 kids under 6 years old. Mercy.

I also got to meet my sons newest addition this weekend. Levi is now 4 months old. After the visit-(he was napping so didnt get to hold him or anything...) me and my daughter got about 7 miles down the road and I said "OMG- WHYYYY did we not offer to keep Levi for them while they went to Samantha's graduation???" It was too late then tho.  Next time for sure!!!!

Then when we got home my daughter got the call to come to TJ's  and she's been there ever since.  So I tried to watch movies and veg out- but I decided  to tidy up a bit. Now anyone that knows me knows my tidying is more like a spring clean. I SWEPT the living room rug, then proceeded to sweep the rest of the house as well. And then I threw on a load of clothes into the washer to test it out while I washed the dishes and "tidied up" the kitchen.

I cleaned out the fridge, the countertops, , washed the dishes, dried the dishes, put them away and wiped down all the countertops(yes- that's two seperate things for the countertops.) and appliances- Then for good measure I wiped down all the cabinet fronts as well.  Then I noticed the boys had left their socks and a few shirts lying about in the family room so I gathered all their things up as well.  

I cleaned up the front porch when I went out for a breath of fresh air and  a bit of a "break". 

OCD much?

Anyway- the only thing I didnt do that I wanted to get done was mopping the floors. I might get to that  when I get home from work today. Or Not-

So then I tried to get on my Ranch Simulator Game to play with my sis for a couple hours. And guess what? I was BITLOCKED out!!!!! Dang update caused it and I'm gonna find out how to disable that bullshit.(Pardon the language.)

 I was NOT happy to say the least. I was dang LIVID is what I was. I tried and tried to get UNBITLOCKED but they wanted info I didnt have anymore. Yesterday my nephew Craig came over and sat for about 4 hours trying to get it unlocked to no avail. I've got a good buddy who is an I.T. Guy who would have helped me I'm sure- he's offered before, but I was NOT going to message him with IT issues on a long holiday weekend. So....... Craig ended up resetting to factory..... UGH. Then he spent another hour getting me set back up on my STEAM acct.... Bless him!!!! I love my nephew- he's more like a little brother than a nephew tbh.

Funny things is- I couldn't restore my account for love nor money when I bought my gaming laptop and did the set-up, so I had to start a whole new STEAM account. Had to buy my 4 fav games again and everything- start from scratch.

Well, when Craig set it back up after the reset- my OLD account is the one that was restored. I don't know how ... I'm not questioning it. He offered to find my other account but I told him maybe another time. He had done enough for me  after all that.

 It wouldnt let me download any of my old ranches- but its okay even tho I had a ranch that was a 7 year project...an entire community. LOL- so I'm back to starting over again. I don't care. I've got it to play.

I'm just so glad I hadn't downloaded my books I'm writing onto the laptop yet.

Thank Goodness for small miracles. Eh?

So Just NOT the relaxing weekend I had envisioned after all. Roll on "Retirement"......

Vacation Vs. Retirement

 I sincerely hope we get as much rain over the weekend as they think we are going to here in the Carolinas. It will give me a damn good reason to not do a dang thing but get in some R&R. 

I had to face the fact that I'm getting seriously burned out after working two years with virtually no vacation time.  

Over in England I got five WEEKS of paid vacation time including paid holidays- not counting sick days.

Company now? ZERO Paid Vacation Days. Oh sure- I can TAKE a week or two off, but with prices of everything these days- I can't afford to take the time off and lose the pay.  So instead of losing pay- I'm losing my sanity.

Me and the Boss had an almost two hour meeting today to discuss some issues....mostly that I'm having. 

Also tho also for him to remind me that when I reach my retirement age in February I can continue to work my 40 hours here at my job.....he said he REALLY doesnt want to lose me to retirement. I don't think that's going to be an issue with the price of living these days. However, I did tell him I WILL be taking a weeks vacation every 6 months- I don't care if it's a stay-cation and I sit on my backside on my back porch and look at the clouds or the stars roll past- I WILL be taking those two weeks every year. 

Gar-UN-Teed!!!!

In My Life- One Of The Saddest Red Letter Days EVER.

 This morning, at 8am, one of my grand's Graduation ceremony commenced. 

It was CJ- my grandson from my youngest son Clayton who passed in 2005.  I haven't got to see him since I moved back home... CJ is a very busy and ambitious young man....but I have spoke with him on the phone once. 

His Mom and Grandma completely forgot I was back in the states until last week and then they mailed me a graduation announcement and told me that they had a ticket for me if I could make it to the ceremony. I would have been there with bells on for him, but my job requires 2 weeks notice for non- emergency days off. 

I was heartbroken. I still am- but hopefully we can get together in a couple weeks or so and have a big ol catchup!! Or a few smaller ones- I'm good with whatever time he can give me!! I'll take it!!

But I am the most proud Granny ever of him. He's already signed on as a full fledge fireman with his local fire department last week. He started a couple of years ago as a cadet with the fire department. Spent every spare moment he had up there. He also had a job at McD's at the time (He's given that one up now tho). He has his entire family's work ethic... My son was a hard worker and very ambitious. So is Kathy, CJ's Mom...And his Granny on his Mom's side, And his step-dad, Thomas, and his whole family too! I am so happy that Kathy picked such a good man to step in for Clay to raise CJ and be her husband!!!...and I honestly believe Thomas and Clay would have been close friends had they met when Clay was alive. 

Our side of the family are and were people with good work ethics too... My Dad  for one- and Clayton adored his Grandad... Clay's dad  and grandfather were also hard workers as are  all his Aunts and Uncles on our side.... and I am borderline workaholic - BUT I know when it's time to take some important downtime as well.

I had a bit of a breakdown today when I was on patrol and glanced at the clock and realised that the ceremony had begun.  I've missed out of so much of my grandkids growing up when I moved to England.

It will forever be the biggest regret of my life.

But Congratulations, CJ- on becoming a wonderful man and an example for our whole family!!!

I love you and I know your daddy is looking down from Heaven just beaming with Pride.

In Response To Evan's Post

 In Response to Evan's Post about Gun Rights In America...

First of all- I like that phrase MUCH better than calling it GUN CONTROL. And I agree the two groups are having different discussions.

I don't know much about the historical part of the weapons issue- except it exists just as Evan explains it in his post.

What I DO know is that I feel much safer even if everyone around me is carrying a weapon. 

Most times I will get a side eye when I walk into a place of business carrying..... but here's the thing. I'm an expert marksman. If someone comes in and pulls a weapon and starts firing- you will be damn happy I've got my Glock. I carry with the thought of protection only. And the way I see it there is a MUCH better chance of someone NOT shooting a place up when it's an open carry- because they don't know WHO has a weapon on them or how many would be willing to take a bullet to protect  you and your loved ones should the situation arise. I am one of those people who would take the bullet gladly- but whoever is stupid enough to carry out an active shooting anywhere near me will have one damn hard time getting one in me before I take them down and I can back that up. And that's all I got to say about that.

I dont have my weapon because it's cool- or because it looks or sounds good.... I have it to protect me and mine- and you and yours, regardless of the arguments for or against people carrying or owning. And to be honest- I don't trust many of the politicians in the separate states to pass the laws governing my weapons ownership.

I only trust myself and my integrity and a handful of like minded individuals. 

That being said- I know of LOTS of people that I WOULDN'T care to see owning weapons of any sort- simply because of Irresponsibility and Lack of Integrity in other parts of their lives. 

So how do we respond to that issue and still be fair to everyone?... like Evan said- harsher punishments for weapons criminals is shutting the barn gate after the horse is long gone.  

It's a HOT Topic and will be debated to eternity.

I Hate When That Happens

 On the way to work this morning I had the most fabulous idea for my post today...I planned it out paragraph by paragraph and thought it was perfect for this Monday morning.

Then work happened and now I've a few moments to sit down and tap it out- I can't remember even the title for it- let alone any of the rest of it!

They say the memory is the first to go....I can't remember what the second thing is.....

Such Is Life, eh?

JUST WHYYYYY??????

 Okay so today is my bill paying day..... 

I went online and paid my auto insurance by talking to a real person in my local office.

No Problems at all.

Next came the power bill... It associated my phone number to my account and boom!! Done deal!!!

Both of those bills took less than 3 minutes each.

My water bill I have to pay in person- OMG seriously... they open at 8am- close at 3pm- except on Fridays when they close up at noon and are closed all weekends. And I work 6am-3pm...Monday thru Friday. And they don't let you call a payment in- it has to be in person pay or mail delivered.

 "Small town USA"...... LOL- But I aint even mad about that.

So I'll get my daughter to run that one by their office on her way to one of her doctors appointments before the due date.

I'm going to pay the Netflix bill when I get home. 

But I did try to pay the Spectrum bill by phone- and online both.  And there lies the issue.

It requires a 4 digit code  specifically linked to my account to be able to accept payment. 

Ummmm... can someone explain to me WHY I can't just pay the dang bill and be done with it? They have my name, my address, the phone number, card number and email address linked to my account- why do I need yet ANOTHER verification to GIVE them my money????? 

Is someone trying to impersonate me and pay my bills? And if so- why aren't you LETTING THEM?????

I mean if someone wants to pay any of my bills- or a portion of any one of them- for goodness sake LET THEM!!! I have Mother's Days, Birthdays, Anniversaries and Christmases coming up- that would be a GREAT surprise gift!!!

Red Tape is RIDICULOUS!!!!!

And for no good sense reason if you ask me.

Just sayin'.....

Bits & Bobs...and a Bit of a Rant....

 I haven't done one of these in a while and it perfectly reflects my current state of mind.

*Everything the past three months has been chaotic. In every part of my life.My car's performance has been spotty at best. Hopefully, I have that all fixed now -for a few months anyway. I know in the next 6 months I'm going to need tires and new brakes tho....

*One of my grandsons has been staying with me for a few weeks while he and his little family have searched for a new place. They have found a tiny home and decided to try the tiny home lifestyle while they only have the ONE child. I'm sure there will be another in the next few years and they may decide they need more than a tiny home at that point, but for now they are good with it. I think it's going to be a HUGE adjustment-for everyone. For my part- I have enjoyed having him stay with us and making life just a bit easier and more interesting!!

*My son also moved back in with us...his also is a transitional deal tho. He works out of town and stays with his girlfriend  when he has work to do down there.  When he doesnt have work scheduled, he comes home and stays with us. As with my grandson, life is easier and there is so much more laughter for us all when he is there.

*My Granddaughter is a precious teenager who has been diagnosed with ADHD. The past couple of years have been a struggle for us all. The doctors finally have put her on a medication in hopes it will tame the ADHD. It's rare girls get it- but having had two sons, a daughter, and several grandsons with it I saw the signs early on. She's only been on the meds for about three weeks, but I could tell a difference four days in. Happily we all are all reaping the benefits of her newfound calmness.The only thing I'm not happy with in her case, is her eating ...she is picky beyond  belief...there isn't a single solitary vegetable she likes- the only way she even eats potatoes is in the form of french fries or tater-tots.She likes some meats, (if you call it that)- meaning she likes Chicken nuggets, bologna, and hot dogs. Recently tho- her mom and I made us a lovely steak seasoned with Lawry's and a splash of Teriyaki sauce, grilled to perfection(medium-rare-more rare than medium) in the airfryer with a baked potato and small salad. Granddaughter had a burger and fries.She saw how much we was relishing our treat(Ribeyes) and timidly asked if she could try it- we gladly said yes, and she asked for a bite to be cut in half, then in half again  before she would try it. We did, and the moment it touched her tongue- she was in love. Her eyes got wide as saucers and she said "OMGosh!!! Next time yall make this I want steak TOO!!!"  We created a Monster tho because now every meal she asks- Are we having STEAK???..or if asked for a dinner suggestion she says "I want Steak plz..."She doesnt know what she is missing by being a picky eater. I can say that there is one more food she loves- Cat-Head Biscuits. She and my son will eat an entire pan of those by themselves in 15 minutes. LOL.... I still struggle with her eating tho- I feel like she needs to eat more nutritional foods and less of that  other stuff.....I insist she take a multivitamin every day- it helps but it's not ideal in my eyes. She and I have went rounds because I also insist she try one spoonful/bite of everything me and her mom cooks. She's such a drama princess tho- she will take a bite of whatever I insist on and before she even closes her mouth to chew she's already gagging and running to spit it out.  The doctor says she will outgrow it.... I beg to differ.

*Work has been a trial since after my birthday in February.Every month I say well, next month will be better- not happened yet. I'm struggling- I looked into early retirement, but doing the research I realized that by the time I get all the paperwork taken care of , I'm going to already be retirement age...that's next year.  So I'm just going to wait. In the meantime, I'm still looking for that property to put my/our retirement home on- and The kids as well. One on each side of me- or a MultiGen home.  Either or. Whichever God sees fit for us. I trust Him.

*My daughter has health issues and has been fighting to get disability benefits for the past three or four years. Today is the hearing before a judge. Im praying she gets the help she so desperately needs. Every time this comes up  and she is denied, I see her spiraling further down in depression. She can't get a job because of the medical issues, she cant get any kind of help because the agencies require you to look for a job if you aren't already claiming disability benefits. She is stuck in limbo between a rock and a hard place. She feels useless and like she is a burden, I tell her that her keeping out home fires burning and overseeing what needs to be taken care of there is her job and it's just as dang important as a job that pays money. She cant do most of the physical stuff- but she can oversee the plan for everyone who lives there to fairly take part in and help out with what needs to be done. I can tell you what a blessing it is to have her there doing all the bill paying and keeping account of what we need and being there to oversee the repairs when someone comes to do them.  She is such a blessing she just doesnt realise how big of a blessing she is!!! God will see us thru this- no matter what the outcome today. I have Faith.

* The family reunion is coming up the Sunday after Mother's Day. There is a LOT of family drama going in that issue. Granny C started the tradition about 35-40 years ago. She and Papa C had 18 kids and soooo many grandkids!!! Last count(about 20 years ago- there was 167 cousins-first second and third cousins- I don't even want to get into the once/twice removed column......

There are only 3 of those 18 kids remaining... Bud(Joseph), Freddie(Jr), and Mary.  And like most families that big there is some drama.... We cousins have been trading off the hosting positions for years, but somehow since his elder siblings have passed away, has taken it upon himself to take over...not actually doing anything- but to rule on everything.

Well, he called me and(yeah- I'm airing a bit of dirty laundry, but I'm very much not happy right now. The event is a week and a half away.) and....)he told me that he's "going to make a decision"  That Sunday about whether to continue holding the reunion or whether to dissolve it. 
Say WHAT??? I told him "Honestly Uncle, respectfully, I dont think it's solely UP to you. I also asked him why does he think it needs to be dissolved. 

He said : 

1) The younger generations didnt seem to  be as interested in doing it.

ME- Who cares? Us elder cousins look forward to these get togethers- for most of us it's the only time we get to see the cousins we grew up with!!!! Let it dissolve naturally one we die off and the younger generation doesnt care.

2) He's not going to be around much longer.

ME- And? Its not like it all falls on HIS shoulders to run the event! 

He doesnt cook anything to bring. (Yes- we all still cook all our family favs from scratch this ONE EVENT and we make a LOT of it.)   He doesnt help with Clean up- He's elderly and the young uns and us elder cousins wont let him because of his health issues.  All he does is show up, crack jokes and tell whopper fishing and hunting stories, Eat, and watch over the place like Lord of the Manor. Then he shuffles off and goes home. He doesnt even collect the key to the building nor does he bring it back to them afterwards. Why in the Hell would he want to take that away from us at ANY point????

3) People aren't coming because they are mad at so and so and if they coming I ain't going. 

ME- well whoop de doo.... who cares? If  someone is mad then don't come if they gonna start trouble- just realise we are old school and whoever starts trouble at Granny's Reunion is gonna get their ass handed to them. That was Grannys one rule- Don't you come and stir up no $h@+ cause you'll get your ass whooped and booted out until next one.(Ironic huh?) Come- or not- if you do- avoid whoever you mad at- things will be back to normal by next one. Pick a corner and stay away from each other. End Of.

4) We only had 17 people there last year- we used to have 87!!!!

Bullshit- I was there the past two years and we had well over 60 ppl there both years. That 87 was ONE YEAR- I told him that not everyone can show up every year- they have work, they get sick, they live far away( what- I'm gonna get blacklisted because I didnt come for 12 of the 13 years I was living in England and couldn't make it? TRY IT!!!!  I dare you.)

Whoever shows up is whoever can make it that year- whoever can't has a reason that's enough for them to not show up.  End Of.

He said- well, we'll see Sunday. 

I was pissed and as I was driving and was getting distracted, I told him I would call him back the next day to resume our discussion. I called, but he didnt answer.... 

Honestly, we may lose the venue- but no way are we letting the tradition die just because of one grumpy old goats  "decision". 

..........Ahem...okay- sorry about the rant.

So anyway.... 

I got my baby sister playing the game me and my daughter play together for years.

Ranch Simulator. It's got two maps- a Mountain one I like to call Montana... and a Desert one I like to call Arizona. 

Me and my daughter have been playing it since it was in Beta....... We gave a lot of input into how it works and what we think should be added into it- or done away with or just modified a bit.  We can build, we can hunt, we can grow things and take care of animals. Or we can just ride around and do a whole lot of nothing. 

You can also have a pet. I've tried the dog- and the cat- and both have ran off...... never to be seen again.

there is a slight possibility that it may or may not have been because I got a bear to chase me into the horse corral(empty) and then kept it there for hours teasing it so it would roar and swipe at us.......

as I have said before- I don't play games like other(ie normal) people do- I play to keep myself entertained. And I think both Sis and Daughter like it as much as I do- and the best part is- we can invite each of the other two to either ranch and have fun together!!! Have done every day since Sis got it too!

Happy Days!!!!

P-52 or P-12... Food for thought

 Does anyone remember my P-52 Blog I used to have?

I might start another P-52 as a regular feature on this blog. I really do miss my Photo-walks every week- and there is so much more going on here to be able to photograph!!!

Even a once a month P-12 post would make me happy!!!

Gun Control...US vs THEM

 So Evan suggested a post on a few "debates" I wound up in with Brits while living over in the UK about  Weapons in the US and what we should do to "fix" our weapons issues and stop the shootings..... Oh Really?........ Well, Let this Southern Girl educate you Brits on that little issue ... but it's not just us Southerners but as I've never lived anywhere(with the exception of the UK) so I really cant speak for the rest of the country other than the South... but-

Maybe Evan will oblige for his neck of the woods in a sort of He said/She said type deal.....?

So ......when I was living in England there would be news stories about the shootings here and yonder in the States and the Brits would start spewing comments/opinions about "Gun Control", Regulating Weapons Sales, Banning Weapons. blah, blah, blah. I called BS everytime cause we all know us Southerners like nothing more than a good old fashioned bout if fisticuffs...especially when it comes to our guns.

Inevitably they(the Brits) would hear my accent and turn it on me.

And that's how the fight started.

They wanted MY opinion- they got it. 

No- you don't even think about taking an American's weapons away from them. You are going to have a whole country coming after you tooth and nail- owning/possessing a weapon  is our lifeblood- our God Given Right in our eyes.... especially in the South. 

"Gun Control" to us means having it close enough to use in the event of an emergency and making sure we have enough ammo to be useful in a siege of ANY sort- human or outer space aliens or hellish demons. It also means EDUCATING everyone in the household on proper handling of said weapons.  It's the American way- it's in our blood and one of our most basic rights. We in the South start educating our kids early. My Granddaughter started going hunting deer with her daddy at 4 years old.  She got her own 410 at age 6 and shot her first deer in the first season after. And yes- her stock on it is Pink Camo pattern- she's a girly Girl. LOL. 

"Regulating Weapons Sales"... Yeah- we HAVE that now-  You have to go to the shop, fill out the paperwork to go thru the red tape ppl.... and you wait...... and wait.... and wait. Then, when it's finally approved, you get to purchase the weapon of your choice. It's basically a cooling off period if you ask me- so you don't get pissed off at someone and go out and buy a weapon and shoot them.  Once you have your weapon after the waiting period- it changes from  heat of passion, to premeditated IMHO..... That's not how it really is, but kinda- Gray area, I think.

"Banning Weapons Completely" except for Police and Military.... OMFG... are you serious?

There will ALWAYS be a way for criminals to obtain weapons- you can get anything off the BlkMkt-so I'm told. I'm a Law Abiding Citizen and I do things the proper way. But you will NEVER take my weapons from me unless you pry them from my cold dead hands. If you ban weapons- all you would be doing is  giving all the criminals free reign... they will be the ONLY ones with weapons- and in addition, you will be turning all us Law Abiding Citizens INTO Criminals because aint no way in hell we gonna give you our weapons willingly, and if by some miracle you get them anyway- we will turn into one of the criminals who obtain our replacement weapons off the street or the BlkMkt.

The Brits can't call the kettle black- HUGE color-check- they banned knives as well as guns except for gun clubs and Special units of Police and Military) and their knife crimes are thru the roof. That was just a transfer of dangers in my estimation. And yes- they STILL have gun crimes as well- not nearly as many- but the numbers are growing on that as well.

So in conclusion- take care of your own dirty laundry before you start trying to tell us what detergent works best for you- and we'll do the same.

Container Garden Update-UPDATE-

 I already have a few of the Yellow Summer Squash plants peeping up thru the soil!!!!

No sign yet of the tomatoes or peppers tho.

I just got some cantaloupe seeds to plant too-  Only 3 seeds- it may or may not work.... We'll see.

Gun Control Post- Coming soon....

 I'm just reminding myself... 

This week is full to the brim with Maggie's repairs (there's a post upcoming for that as well),  some family matters going on and a weekend visit with my bestie of 60 years upcoming, but Monday should be the perfect time to sit down and type it out, Tuesday at the absolute latest. Promise.

Heard It In A Country Song....

Slow go the days, Brother, fast go the years...

Tim & The Glory Boys-SLOW GO THE DAYS

So True....

Gone Fishing

 Pretty sure I'm going to go buy my fishing and hunting license today after work. Surely there is someplace that sells them on my 54 mile journey home.

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch- I finally got my  container garden started yesterday after I got home and changed out of the monkey suit and into more appropriate clothing.

I planted tomatoes on each end of a trough shaped container- and i planted bell peppers in the center section of the same container. I had two round barrel type containers that I planted yellow summer squash in.  We'll see how those do.

I've also got a couple of apple seeds and a couple of orange seeds planted in a small container(same size and method as in England that grew the lemon trees......) and we'll see how those do as well. if everything works out we may have an orchard and a garden to plant when we find our new place....yep- still looking. 

God will provide when the time is right. I have faith.

Government Red Tape

 I HATE the stuff- it's like Gorilla Glue, Duct Tape, Super Glue, Marshmallow Fluff, Pancake syrup and TAR all rolled into one!!!!

A simple little thing like checking to see the financial aspects of  my retirement benefits is impossible. 

I went thru the entire process- creating the account- verifying the ID requirements- and it's still sending me back to square one after verifying everything. WHYYYYYYYYYY??????????

I'm about to flip my batshit crazy switch. 

So much for a more relaxing day than the previous ones!!!!

Life is a Battlefield.

 But why must it always be so?

I've fought so many battles in my life. Some you couldn't begin to imagine unless you have been in that same situation. 

Relationship battles(expected seeing how I'm going out of marriage #4), battles over land, property, friendships, family, four close battles with my own near death situations, mental health, weight issues(in both directions), job issues, schedule battles, battles over money- which coincided with several of the other issues I mentioned, habits I've broken- the bad ones are a daily constant battle...... the list goes on and on.

I think I seriously need a nice vacation- even if it's a staycation- but I'd love to be able to get away for a few days just on my own....cabin in the woods, on a side of a river, creek, lake, pond, waterfall.....even a horse trough for the water aspect would be fine and sufficient. Eat when I want- nap when I want- listen to music IF I want, or not.... same with TV and I'd turn the phone off too. not screen my calls- completely turn it off.Just a few days of quiet contemplation and rest.

You know you need rest when you are looking forward to Heaven.

Following Doctors Advice & Bits and Bobs.

 I won't be doing anything of great import this weekend. Maggie is under strict doctors orders to stay off her "feet" until she undergoes her surgery on the 28th/29th. No unnecessary trips anywhere. No taking the refuse to the recycle center, no quick runs up to the grocery store, or the laundromat, No running out to grab a Lil' Caesars Pizza... So I'll be staying home doing all the things.

I need to get my tomatoes and banana peppers and yellow squash in the planters. My son drilled the bottoms of the containers for drainage last weekend,  so they are ready to be filled now. 

I'm also going to  finally "fix" the painting one of my friends asked me to do. She has a lovely kind of abstract painting of a lady in formal attire standing in a room. It's lovely, but both my friend and I start to get depressed when it's hung up for more than an hour. The more you look at it- the more depressing it becomes. The colours are lovely but it needs a serious upgrade and she told me "I don't want it back in my house until it's changed,- can you do something with it? If you can't fix it- paint something of your own over it."

So I've had it for 6 months- I try to envision it changed by some way- but I came up with nothing... Then I got the idea to change the  position of it. I've had it sideways, upside down, and upside down sideways. And I finally saw the vision of the painting I'm going to do for her.  The lady is standing with one hand propped on her hip and I can use that as a beginning of a mesa rock arch landscape. The colours are perfect for it- and with a bit of gold and terracotta added here and there it should be a lovely Sunset on the Mesa Arch. I may even add a bit of a creek or river in the foreground for some contrast to all the reddish earth tones.

I'll try to post photos of it- before and after. No promises tho- I'm still trying to get my laptop set up and haven't gotten around to  getting FB and Blogspot set up on it yet...That's going to be another thing I try to tackle this weekend- time permitting. 

I'm also going to ask my son and grandson make a churn of homemade ice cream, too. I've found that the different flavours of International Delight Coffee Creamers are FABULOUS for home churned ice cream- My favorite so far is the Reese's Flavor with broken up mini-pb cups added to it!!!  And you know it's good because up until now my LEAST favorite flavour homemade ice-cream has been chocolate.  However I love the plain Vanilla(reminds me of snow cream we make with winter 2nd snow) , Banana split-LOVE that combination together(Vanilla with pineapple, strawberry, maraschino cherries with chocolate syrup drizzled over the top when its in your bowl- and don't forget the whipped cream and nuts(if you like them). Then too, there is Peach, and Strawberry- and Orange Creamsicle. Oh My Word!!!!

Childhood memories- planting a garden and Home-made ice-cream!!!!!!  It doesn't get much better than that!!!!!

I Don't Understand Procrastination....

 I personally don't get it. 

Why do most people procrastinate? I just dont get it.

In my world- if I realise something needs doing, if I'm not doing something that needs doing MORE urgently, I do the first thing and as soon as it's done I start the second thing. 

Why put it off and take the chance of it getting forgotten about until it's too late?

I understand prioritizing things, but to know something needs to be done by a deadline(such as TAXES) ...

Just why?

You know your brakes have been screeching for two months- why do you wait until they fail on you to finally get them replaced? Like now- as soon as my clutch make the first vibration/shimmy- I was off to the mechanic(who I refer to as Maggie's Gynecologist/surgeon- Maggie is my cars name btw). And it's a good thing too- I have an appointment scheduled for an entire clutch kit to be replaced on her on the 28&29th. IF she holds out that long.  I don't know the hows or whys it started doing it- but I highly suspect that it may have something to do with the 255k miles on her. She's a 2007 and she is a doll of a car. 

I had a little toyota Celica many years ago that was a lot like her- I got both when they were up in years. I babysat two kids for a lady for an entire month in trade for the Celica. (basically I got paid $25 a week to babysit so I got her $100. She lasted for two years and I only had to replace the brakes when I first got her. But when she decided she was done- SHE WAS DONE and all the things went the same day- no warnings, no screeching, scrubbing or slipping or shimmying... She just quit. Both the Celica and Maggie(Mazda) were/are the most dependable, easy on gas cars ever. Until the Celica wasnt-  and on the last day of school for my kids before Summer break,  the brakes went out and the alternator went out along with the clutch AND transmission as I was headed home from picking them up from school...I was literally coasting her back into the driveway using the handbrake when I got home. God was looking out for us that day thank god the school was only a half mile from the house!!! At least the tires didnt blow out, right????

Hubby 2 was a mechanic and he gave me the bad news- it was going to cost more to fix her than she was actually worth. I had to be towed to the scrapyard and I CRIED the whole way.  I love the Celica- and I love Maggie equally. The only car I loved more than them was my 72 Challenger. No car will EVER replace her.

Anyway- I digress- the point is- why put off doing something you KNOW needs doing?

Even worse is putting off something you will ENJOY doing!! 

Why Procrastinate??

Not a Single Thing

 This weekend I didnt do a single solitary useful thing. I didn't get my seeds planted, didn't get Maggie detailed, didn't get my room picked up. Didn't cook, didn't do laundry, didnt drive anywhere- didn't watch a movie-(which is usually my fav thing to do on the weekends...just sitting watching a movie with my kids- or sitting on the front porch swing or on the back deck in the shade feeling the breeze on my face(I would say in my hair but I chopped that all off a couple weeks ago-LOL) and just listening to the quiet and peace of nature). I literally SLEPT all weekend.

On the way home from work Friday I got hit numerous times in the face by direct unfiltered sunlight. Bright light- be it natural OR artificial hitting my eyes equals instant migraine. It's Number 2 of my migraine triggers- closely following behind heavy cloying perfumes, colognes or body sprays. The only deodorant that has ever triggered one is the old BRUT deodorant spray. And I don't think they even make BRUT anymore - thank heaven for small miracles.

I actually had to pull the car over twice because I felt like I was going to throw up from the pain. Luckily, I made it home where I immediately took one of my prescription migraine tablets and went to bed. Those things are tiny but they pack a PUNCH- even halved they still knock me OUT for 12 or more hours.

The entire weekend I was awake long enough to eat twice and then it was straight back to bed.  I might have woken up and tried to do something on my computer- but honestly I'm not sure if I actually DID that(the computer was in the same place and off when I got up this morning) or if it was just a la-la-land dream.  That's another side effect of those tablets- crazy realistic weird dreams. They make total sense while I'm dreaming but on the rare occasion I remember them when I wake up I think "HTH did I ever think that was actually possible in my dream?????" Sometimes I wish I could remember how I did some of the things because if I could get a patent I'd be Elaine Musk RICH!!! 

Anywho- that is why I suffer thru migraines on work days. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell I could drive on Patrol  when I'm taking my migraine medication. I wouldn't even be able to sit at a desk.

What I'd do is become the Queen of the DREAM TEAM. That's what my sister and I call the on duty sleepers. 

Not My Style. Not even in my wildest Migraine Medded up dreams!!!

*I feel much better today- and am wearing my sunglasses.

Re-Evaluating...

So as you all know I moved back to the UK about Two years, Two months, and Nine days ago.

 At the time when I first returned, I swore that I wouldn't divorce- just to keep me from being an idiot again, but things happen. A LOT has happened in that time.

And HELL NO- it's not another man in my life. I was serious as a dang heart attack when I said I'll never marry again. 

But there are other aspects of life that need to be resolved at this point in my life and as S2BX isn't in my life except in name- I think it's time we move on- legally. S2BX is still young enough he can find someone romantically compatible and maybe even have a baby or two of his own - if he is so inclined. And if some legal things come up in the future, I don't want him to be held accountable for the fees involved just because we are still married in name. It was MY choice to leave and move back to America, even tho my choice was entirely determined by my interpretation of his actions. I'm pretty positive he feels the same way about my actions as well.

It turns out, in South Carolina we can file for a No-Fault Divorce if we have been separated/not co-habited for 1 year or more. No one was at fault- we just decided it was over and made it so.

I cant say there isn't animosity- there isn't on my part- but he has said to me that if it were up to him he'd never have to think about me or hear my name again...plus, he asked me not to contact him again.

I was honoring his wishes, but then I found out we could do the No-Fault Divorce so I did contact him a couple days ago to let him know what it involved and he, without hesitation or anger(none that I could sense in the text anyway) said- yes, please, do it. So I think he may be ready to move on as well. So I'll be going forward with the NFD proceedings as soon as it can be arranged.

I continue to wish him only happiness in the future.

Destruction of Humanity- It's Our Own Fault.

  I was listening to SCPR this morning and  one of the people said that Human Consumption is destroying the world. 

I unfortunately think they are correct. 

I'm trying to cut back on our footprint on this earth, but I think overall, it's a lost cause because the majority of the population of this wonderful planet just doesnt have it in them to THINK about how much  trash they put out into the world on a daily..... multiply that by the number of people on this planet and we are pretty much doomed- and I don't think it will take much longer to completely ruin our planet. Maybe we've gone too far to turn back the hands of time.

I literally break into a cold sweat when I take our stuff to the recycling center and see how much other people are using and taking there. 

Remember when COVID hit and the world came to almost a complete standstill...everyone was isolating- the air quality improved drastically and the ozone started healing......

It hasn't been that long since the restrictions were lifted- not really.... and we are back to using and disposing of more than ever.

Can this planet and humanity be saved? 

At this rate- I doubt it. But you can try to convince me otherwise if you like. I really would like to be proven wrong.

Thank God It's Over!!!!

 So March 2026 was almost a total bust.  A couple of good things happened- but on the general scale from 1-10 it was a defo 2.

I said April has GOT to be better, but if this morning is any indication of how good it's going to be I'm gonna say it's gonna be even worse than March.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out how to circumvent the chaos.... but, so far, I got Nuffin.

I'm pretty sure (about 99.9999999999999% )it's just small issues coupled with the misery of spring pollen season that is making things seem much worse than they are. 

Why oh WHY cant it be Autumn all year long? Very little pollen, beautiful crisp cool weather, Amazing colours surrounding us everywhere we look..... I'm just so relaxed during that time of year!!!

Summers are the worst for me- Miserable heat and humidity,  direct glaring blazing sunshine you just can't hide from unless you live in a cave. I don't think I'd mind it nearly so much if there was a refreshing water source nearby to play in- a pool, a brook, a creek, a pond, a lake or even (as much as I don't like it there) the beach.- I know I only live 20 minutes from the lake- but in the summer it seems like those 20 short miles may as well be 220..... and when I say close- I mean within walking distance... 

 I'll try to be in a better mood tomorrow y'all. 

In the meantime- enjoy the tom-foolery of the day!!!

Feed Silo and Water Windmill Complete... now to the REAL FUN!!!!

 I love Ranch Simulator. It's set in some remote location like Montana or somewhere with similar terrain.

Lots of Hills and trees and boulders and ravines.... Wilderness- well, that's how it started out- in the subsequent updates and expansions the original General Store and separate gas station have been upgraded to a little tiny town with a General store, a separate gas station, a Best Burger to sell meat and dairy, and a little collection of shops(unusable at this time-just for looks) with a Hardware store(usable. It even has a car dealership and a bank for loans....of course it does. 

My little game has defo evolved. 

I can tell you right now that I emphatically DO NOT like the little town. It wasnt well designed, its cookie cutter plain jane and drives like a rats maze. I avoid it unless I'm going to sell my goods at the Best Burger(thankfully it's the closest building to me & just across the road from my Ranch(VipersNest I named it). The Hardware store where you buy all the things for planting(I don't do that-it's boring to me) and building- planks and metals and camping gear and such....(I most certainly DO that- and a lot of it!!!) you can get there.... I just don't understand why you have to buy ammo at the General store which closes at 10pm- when it CLEARLY should be sold at the Hardware store which is open 24 hours(self serve). I always run out of ammo when I'm hunting at night and need it most.

Anyway..... I played 2 hours when I got home and no one was there but me. I got my Grain silo and my windmill for the water built, got a mini quest done and made 2500 for my trouble- that dagger was a BEAST to locate!!!

I also got my 3 houses blueprint placed.  I don't clearcut my land- I cut about 5 trees total and placed the houses in the parameters of the space between trees.  I've seen some people go in and clearcut every tree on the property and believe me- it was U-G-L-Y!!!!!!!

The only complaint I have about the property is there is no water on it- There's a lake for fishing far away in a corner of the map, but on the property I own- nada..... Not a waterfall, not a creek, not a steam, brook or pond.

However- I CAN build myself a pool if I want. There isn't a blueprint for one- so I have to freestyle create it, but it can be done.

Anywho- Now I have the houses blueprint placed, I can place the barns for the animals.

Funny story... a couple years ago- I built a barn and a corral and walked to Bear country and shot at one and got it to chase me all the way back to the ranch....I went thru the barn and closed the doors behind me once I got outside and I had my friend waiting behind some trees so when the bear chased me into the barn she closed the corral gates and the bear was trapped in it- it was a fun hour or so of running up to the fence to make the bear go mental and chase us back and forth beside the fence. We finally let him loose tho- back into the world.... Hahahah!! 

As you can tell, I don't play games to level up or compete with anyone- I game on my own terms and make up my own rules. 

Isnt life so much more fun when you play by your own rules????? 

YOLO!!!!!!!

(Nope- still not ready to talk about WOW- and it got worse this morning... Work Related.)

Wow

 I mean just WOW......

I just gotta process this one before I write about it... but just WOW.

Not in a good way either.

I DID It!!!! And a Couple Other Things...

 I set up my new gaming laptop all by myself!!!! 

Only it took me 3 days to figure it out- but still- I DID IT!!!!

I ended up having to create a new email- and a new Microsoft account AND a new STEAM account because I couldn't  find/remember/retrieve  my info on either of them but still- I DID IT!!!

It's kind of a good thing I had to redo the Steam one tho because I had so many games on the old one I never played. I had no idea that if you played a bit and didnt like it you could get a refund on it if you were within the perimeters. 

So in the end I got my three fav ones- which cost me less than 20 bucks instead of the hundred plus I spent on them to begin with because they were having a MEGA sale on everything I wanted most!!!

I still haven't got my MINECRAFT back yet either. I couldn't find MINECRAFT JAVA anywhere so I suppose that will have to wait too.

 If you couldn't tell, I got my tax refund back and after a long consideration I got myself a new laptop.  My old one with a falling apart monitor that I brought from the UK was literally being held together by two rubber bands- one at the top of the screen and one at the bottom of the screen. I go to work everyday and do all the "adulting things" so I think maybe I was deserving of a big treat  of something I wanted but also needed.  I'm trying to start a little side hustle and a laptop is kind of a necessity for any business- large or mico-small..... 

Let me tell you- I was sweating bullets buying that thing tho. I went out to price them- not to buy one until I had slept on it another week or so- but the one I had decided was what I needed  before looking at prices was on sale at a really good price(a months rent plus 14 dollars OMG SERIOUSLY!!!!????) so after walking round the store with my daughter who was buying my granddaughter some clothes I decided to not be a big wuss and just go ahead and BUY the thing since it was on sale and prob wouldn't be in a week after I slept on it. 

The IT guy where I work told me they were pretty easy to set up providing I knew all my passwords and usernames and such.... which I thought I could retrieve from my old laptop- but no such luck. I was on my own.

I tried it the second day I had it- and got so frustrated I threw a good old fashioned hissy fit and then closed it up. Then it sat another day while I did a bit of research and got some more advice- and offers of help. But I had ranted about learning to do things on your own that you typically would hand over to a professional or at least someone who had done it before, so I persevered. I got up Saturday morning and daughter and I did a couple of errands, then got back home about 10:30am and I sat down and got to work after trying one more time to retrieve my account info and failing once again- I resorted to the obviously easier way to do it- I created the new accounts- and followed the instructions and did a lot of waiting. Didnt quite get everything done but close to it so Sunday morning I got up, made coffee and got started again with the Steam account and choosing my games and letting them all download.

Of course I had to play a couple hours of Ranch Simulator just to get to have my own Ranch and get it started. I went thru the tutorial and got that completed and purchased  a couple of animals for income for my Ranch and put new gates on the old barn to house them all.  Next go round will see me building a silo and a water well.

Only thing I was a bit put out about is the game now has a fishing experience mini game in it- and I went to purchase the Rod and reel and lures, and it would let me purchase the lures but not the rod & reel!!! CURSES!!!!!

Meh- it will be mine soon!!!

Anyway, instead of acting like most people who get their tax refunds back- I spent a bit of it and paid up all my bills that were due, but I put back a majority of it for a rainy day- ie- in case I need a car repair or in case I find my property for my family compound I have a nice down payment for it!!!! 

In other words, Last week I was well off- but this week I'm back to living paycheck to paycheck because I want my last item on my bucket list to come true!!!!

Anti-HOA

 Why YES- yes I am... I think if you own a piece of property you should be able to paint your door what ever color you like- I believe you should be able to plant whatever trees and shrubs you like- as long as they aren't illegal substances- but that's a slippery slope as well because someone will argue that poppies are the parent plant of opioids.

I believe you should have a lawn of whatever kind of grass you like, or if you dont want grass, maybe a lawn full of clover or a wildflower meadow/ cottage garden. No Matching mailboxes, no rules about my kids bikes in the front yard or a basketball hoop set up in the driveway on the front of the garage. 

Who in their right mind wants to live in a cookie cutter community? Unless you're a Stepford resident.

Who put Karen in Charge?  Not me- she can do whatever SHE likes in HER OWN yard.

And no- I dont live in an HOA neighborhood- I have the best neighbors in the world. I did the HOA thing ONCE- and vowed never again would I ever......and I wont.

New Idea for the Compound!!!

 I just though- maybe three detached Garages with an apartment/tiny house for each of us on the upper level??? 

Separate but together!!

This and That.....

 Time Flies when you are busy, and boy have I been busy!!!!

I did my duty last week and got my taxes "done". I refuse to do them myself- I know for a fact I would screw them up and end up financing the entire bazillion dollar debt of the USA. So I leave that mess up to the professionals. A certified accountant who understands all the Maths. 

So now we wait.....  What tiny bit I get back will be going directly into my Savings Account to finance a family compound for me, my daughter and my son. We've been looking for a property in a certain area, but we may need to branch out a bit.

I'm totally serious about a family compound- I'd LOVE to go totally off grid, but I'm not sure that's going to go over well with the rest of the fam. We'll see.

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I'm all over the place with my job right now too. With fuel prices the way they are now , after paying the rent I'm having to put gas money back and use whatever is left to pay for a few groceries and then be REALLY creative with meals for the week. I absolutely LOVE my job and most of the people I work with, but the 110 miles a day to and from work is killing me. 

Add to the mix I'm on patrol driving at least another 25-50 miles a day once I arrive AT work and I'm a bundle of nerves by the time I get home and don't feel up to doing anything until the weekend and I'm beginning to think I'm turning into my grandpa- or my stb ex hubby. But I DO go out and do things with the family on the weekends- and I do spend time with them in the evenings before going to bed. 

I've thought about transferring to another site closer to home, but if we buy a property in the area we hope to- that just means I would be transferring back to the area I work in now. Is there a point in doing that? Is there another option I haven't thought of? Would my company even consider letting me do that? And transferring would prob mean a bit of a cut in pay as well....can I even afford that option???? 

I'm so torn....

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Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch.....

 Life is good.

Compared to last week when I had a gawd awful headache . And I'm fully taking responsibility for that one. It had been a HORRIBLE stressful week at work despite getting Maggie fixed. Monday was the one great day last week- Me and my baby sister got to spend time together, I got Maggie in good shape, and the weather was glorious. 

Then it hit the fan. I won't go into details(I know- quite uncharacteristic for me but it was that bad I don't even want to recall it except as vague generalities), but I gave up smoking about 28 years ago. Now the only time I smoke is when the stress level has reached a point I'm about to snap. And if it's a Friday a bit of drinking may/may not go with the smoking, but I try very hard to keep from doing that as that usually leads to "Hey- I wanna dance so lets go out to the bar!!" and then we all have to make sure the bail bondsman is on everyone's speed dial(it already is but we all make double sure before we go out together- us sisters are the hell-raisers in the family)....So I bought a pack of ciggies. Smoked 2 on the drive home(forgot how stressful trying to juggle smoking and driving a stick shift can be as well,) then once I arrived home I sat on my front porch swing and proceeded to chain smoke all the rest of the pack except 3..... Two hours later- the barely there headache was a raging full blown migraine. And my mouth was on fire from what I can only describe as nicotine overdose. It's happened once before under the same circumstances- only that time my tongue actually swelled up and it required a couple doses of  Benadryl to stop the reaction. I didnt know that's what caused it then, but I certainly do now. As soon as I felt the tingling begin on my tongue, I stopped and took a tablet. I also brushed my teeth, rinsed my mouth with loads of water then gargled with mouthwash to get rid of the nicotine residue. Listerine. Getting the picture of how THAT burned????

Yeah- uhhhh uh...nah....we aren't going to do that anymore. I'm done for good this time.

Meanwhile- after I finally got rid of that headache- I started working on the workout EVAN generously provided for me a few of his posts back.  Boy, do I have some work to do. But I'm gonna do it!!! By end of the year at latest I'm going to be able to do minimum!!!!  I've set myself a goal!!

We are still looking for a property to buy..... and I'm toying with the idea of repainting Magg's Santa Sleigh Red. My daughter does NOT want me to do it- as she says it would remind her too much of the MATRIX her brother had when he passed in an MVA  many years ago. Magg's paint job now is a lovely Royal Blue- but the clearcoat is flaking off all over her so that's what gave me the idea to repaint her Christmas Red.

What's funny is- when I talk about repainting, my kids have started referring to Maggie as the Ho-ho-ho Mobile. ROTFLMBO.....Well, at the very least I want to get her some red and white stripe leather seat covers. I would look very patriotic with that combo if she stays blue.

Anyway- so that's what is going on at the Ranch Now...... 

Later yall!!!

Don't Get Too Excited...A Cautionary Tale.. and other stuff

 Well, Maggie came thru her surgery. Sis got a call from the Surgeon(ie the mechanic) around noon saying Maggie was out of surgery and we could pick her up whenever we wanted. 

That would be end of shift since we was at work....

So  End of day I head to our site base and turn in my equipment, Keys, Phone, and Patrol device. Then I drive to the main base and park the patrol vehicle. I grabbed all my stuff and waited on my sister to arrive. Our schedules are a half hour different since I'm a mobile supervisor and she works a static post.

So she arrives and I am soooo excited to go pick Mags up and drive her!!!!! Well, the drive to IVA was uneventful- sis and I had a lovely visit and we got there in due time. We retrieved the keys for her- and as we was walking out, my sister glanced down and looked at my waistband. 

"What are those to?" pointing to my waist......

I looked down and lo and behold- I still had the patrol vehicle keys and the keyring to all the gates clipped to my belt. 

Son Of A Nutcracker!!!!

So I had to make the hour and 20 minute drive BACK to the site to drop them off and then another hour and 20 minutes home- after already driving the same route that morning and then again to get Maggie drives like a quiet dream now- no shakes, rattles, nor rolls - just a quiet calm as we roll down that road that never ends.

I- or WE made it back home by 7pm and then ate. Was going to watch at least one more episode of TWD with my daughter, but by that point we was both exhausted(she and Grand D rode with me to return the keys so they could see where I work) so we didnt watch anything except the back of our eyelids as we slept.

So in other news, the tub is draining now- the landlord came out and made the repairs to the drain pipe in record time. It was kind of funny- he was trying to explain and show my daughter what he was doing- like she was actually going to try to do it herself next time. 

Not our circus, not our monkey... it will be handy info for when we get our own property tho. I don't think ours will have the barbie stuck in the drainpipe issue tho, tbh.

I've been researching different types of buildings and my daughter has been researching properties available in the areas we would like to be. I've looked at the Home Depot type buildings for doing tiny house community. I've researched Conex type containers and the costs involved with the tiny house or linked container style to do the compound. We have researched singlewides, and doublewides, along with moving buildings/ houses already built but needing removed from the site they are sitting on. 

My latest research involves steel buildings. There are some really well made ones that are reasonably prices that we could call on certified family members to install electric, plumbing(we could do that ourselves-we all helped mom and dad build their house when we were growing up in the country), insulation, painting and flooring. We could divide it up and it be a multi-generational dwelling for us all. There is one plan I'm VERY interested in- barn shaped with two "shed" sides- one on each side of the taller main area. I'm thinking Two generous bedrooms with a shared bath between for each of those.  The central area between would be a great room/kitchen area with center island bar seating instead of a dining room. The "loft" are could be a den with gaming area set up. It could double as a sleepover/guest room area as well. I personally would like a fireplace with bookshelves in the great room, but we could always do smaller electric fireplaces and bookshelves in our bedrooms instead if we so desired. Or whatever we wanted. A small seating area for personal gaming, a vanity table /dressing area, a crafting station.... the possibilities are endless- and all down to our personal preferences!!!

It would be a simple design to do- I could draw up the plans in less than a week for the entire project. 

I'm hoping that by calling in some favors and putting in the elbow grease ourselves it will mean a great deal more to the kids and cost us all a great deal less than a stick built home. Maybe save enough to be able to put some "recreational equipment" in the back yard!!!

We are a resourceful bunch!!!! My daddy dug out a fishing pond/swimming pond for us all by HAND with a pickax, a shovel and a wheelbarrow with minimal help from anyone. He loved his I did it myself projects!!!!

If Daddy had that kind of ambition and drive- we certainly can do whatever we put our minds to also- his blood runs thru our veins!!!! 

He is and always will be my HERO!!!!!

Saga of Maggie Continues...

 Well, Maggie is back in surgery today. Last time it was Stabilizers and this time it's the whole Struts assembly. 

Don't ask me what they do because it's been so long since I did ANY mechanic work on my car I couldn't tell you. I know it has something to do with steering and alignment...I think?

Anyway- I hope to pick her up this afternoon.  Over the weekend my granddaughter and I cleaned up the interior. I was just going to hoover it out, but Granddaughter is as OCD as I am and she kept finding little other things to clean, the door panels, the door frames, the console, the door pockets, the light switches, everything. Then my darling son came over and while Maggie was sitting still he repaired my headlights and checked my fluids and such.  So soon as Mags gets finished with her surgery, I'm going to get her a DELUXE car wash to finish up her Spa-Day.

So, I stayed with my sister last night and we carpooled to work today as we both work the same shift on Mondays. Got a call about 11pm from daughter and son saying the main drain pipe in the bathroom had burst. Called the landlord and he came out first thing this morning to fix it. 

On the upside- the tub hasn't been draining properly- has been taking about 4 hours to drain the water from one person taking a shower. When son cut the drainpipe(metal and rusted I might add) he found out the reason why it wasn't draining.....There was a full sized barbie stuck in the drainpipe.  For real.... !!

I mean, I can see a barbie HEAD getting stuck maybe, but an entire Barbie doll??? I think that may have been an intentional act on the part of a disgruntled former tenant......Lord knows tho- there was enough glitter glue and nail polish spilled on various surfaces throughout the entire house it might have actually been a kid's doing... You just never know. 

Well, Shop just called and Maggie is ready to be sprung. 

Fingers crossed it's done and dusted.

Later Yall!!!!

My Birthday Week.... A Non-Fiction Post- the Short version.

 Well, this didnt happen the way we thought it would. 

My Someday 2 B ex celebrated his birthday MONTH. All Month. I'm not quite that ambitious- although maybe I should be. LOL

I only celebrate my Birthday Week.  And it was pretty good right up to the actual day of celebrations.

I actually took the day off and lost pay to do so- I felt I needed a fun mental health day and my birthday was the perfect reason to do so.

Well, the day before said day off- my boss needed me to cover a third shift post. sigh... so he let me leave early from first shift and I went home to get some rest before going back in at 11pm. 

My body said No. I might have gotten an hour total sleep time.  Got back to the site, worked all shift, then headed home. Nodded off at the wheel and bolted awake when I hit the "wakey-wakey-ridges" on the side of the pavement 4 times on the way home.  It was stupid of me not to pull over in a Dollar Gentral Parking lot to have a nap before carrying on. 

But I finally made it home. Yay- My Birthday- AND my day off!!!

My baby sister and I had planned to go out to brunch before she had to go home and get ready for work on 2nd shift. I laid down and slept the sleep of the dead for two hours before waking up and waiting on her to get there. Meanwhile, she was waiting for me to show up at HER house. Simple miscommunication that cost us our morning together. But she came up and brought me flowers and a bottle of my ready made cold brew before she went in to her shift. 

Meanwhile, my daughter had put on my fav dinner of Crockpot cube steak and gravy . She and my son and my granddaughter was planning on having dinner with me!!! My granddaughter made me a chocolate cake and we were going to have a green veggie and mashed potatoes with the cube steak.  YUMMM- I was so excited!!

Then my son's fiancée had to take their car to take her grandmother to the hospital to see HER son(Granny's, not Fiancée's) so that ran well into our dinner time plans. He finally called me and asked if I wanted to come pick him up, so I drove a half hour and got him. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my daughter had a blood sugar drop and ended up having to eat before me and son got back. Then once we got there my son got overheated and didnt feel up to eating either right away so I had to go ahead and eat by myself.(Granddaughter is an extremely picky eater(textures do her in) and she took one bite of the cube steak and went to make herself a sammich...smh)

Then my son got a call from fiancée saying she was stuck at the hospital with Granny and it would be after midnight before she was able to come by and pick him up. Son said he would walk back home because I was getting ready to go to sleep and had to be up at 4am to drive an hour to work for my normal first shift job. I was NOT going to let that man walk almost 30 miles after him refusing to let  my birthday go by without him coming to see me somehow-someway. 13 years with me in the UK and them being without me was the final straw for him.  So I insisted on driving him back home and drove myself back home and ended up back in bed at 1am. Up at 4:30am to be back at my job at half 6am.

Got to work   on Thursday(my busiest day coincidentally)and had a TON of things to do( lot of walking and driving back and forth) but I struggled thru and got it all done and then refused to drive any more the second half of the day.

Then I FINALLY got off work and drove to my bestie's house for my birthday dinner with her and one of my other long time sister/friends. Only our other friend had to cancel because she was feeling under the weather. Sigh.....

Picked up Reuben sammiches for me and bestie and opened her door and about cried. I put the food on the dining room table with out saying a word except the hi before I glanced around... then walked back to my car and went to park it in the visitors parking area- turned the car off and burst out crying.

She has lost all 3 of her sons, one to accidental OD one to S!c!de, and one to murder. She's also lost her Dad to Covid and her fiancée to a massive heart attack... all within the last 5 years. Her health is bad, she has awful vertigo and COPD and a bit of a weight issue- plus the added issues with mental health /Depression. Well, very recently she decided to adopt a tiny little puppy for company- even tho me and her mom tried, vigorously, to tell her with her health issues she wouldn't be able to take care of it and train it properly. Alas, she didnt pay the slightest bit of attention to our reasonings and got it anyway. 

And the whole house was destroyed. Puppy poop and pee all over the rugs, paper shredded over the entire house...my bezzie couldn't even take her trash out because when you open the door the little rascal zips out the door and is under your feet trying to trip you up. Not on purpose- she's just doing what untrained puppies do. But with Bezzie's health issues she couldn't manage to take the chance.(She lives very near a busy intersection)

Anyway, I cried for 15 minutes, then cleaned my face, put on my big girl panties and trudged back in to try to clean up in there a bit so I could eat without gagging and sit down to rest before I fell on my own face from exhaustion. It took an hour to clean up enough that I had a clear clean path to the bathroom as I was staying overnight there. While I was cleaning up I was honestly thinking about just going back home for the night although it was another hour and a half from her house to mine at that point. I couldn't just leave Bezzie there abruptly like that tho. It's not in my nature.

I don't know what to do about this situation. I know for a fact that Bezzie cant take care of her furry friend except to feed and water it, and I don't have the time or energy or resources to help her with it all. Nor do I have the slightest inclination to offer to do so if I'm perfectly honest. I have a cat- That is MINE to be responsible for- not the other 3 in my household that belong to other members of my family who also live there. And I'm not going to volunteer to take care of anyone else's pet either- no matter how much I love that person. I want to spend time with Bezzie- but not her pet. 

My problem is I'm literally stretched to my mental and physical and financial breaking point right now and ready to snap. I need to go stay somewhere that has NO PETS, but I honestly don't know a single soul that doesn't own at least one pet- and most own several of different species. Wait- I take that back- I DO know someone who doesnt have a pet- however- the DO have several unruly undisciplined kids which would be no mental rest at all........

 I know- I sound selfish don't I? I cant help it tho. I'm just exhausted and I need some downtime and I need it asap.

Thanks for letting me vent. Just that makes me feel a tiny bit less overwhelmed. And if anyone has any suggestions about the pet situation, please advise!!!! xx