Life is a Battlefield.

 But why must it always be so?

I've fought so many battles in my life. Some you couldn't begin to imagine unless you have been in that same situation. 

Relationship battles(expected seeing how I'm going out of marriage #4), battles over land, property, friendships, family, four close battles with my own near death situations, mental health, weight issues(in both directions), job issues, schedule battles, battles over money- which coincided with several of the other issues I mentioned, habits I've broken- the bad ones are a daily constant battle...... the list goes on and on.

I think I seriously need a nice vacation- even if it's a staycation- but I'd love to be able to get away for a few days just on my own....cabin in the woods, on a side of a river, creek, lake, pond, waterfall.....even a horse trough for the water aspect would be fine and sufficient. Eat when I want- nap when I want- listen to music IF I want, or not.... same with TV and I'd turn the phone off too. not screen my calls- completely turn it off.Just a few days of quiet contemplation and rest.

You know you need rest when you are looking forward to Heaven.

Following Doctors Advice & Bits and Bobs.

 I won't be doing anything of great import this weekend. Maggie is under strict doctors orders to stay off her "feet" until she undergoes her surgery on the 28th/29th. No unnecessary trips anywhere. No taking the refuse to the recycle center, no quick runs up to the grocery store, or the laundromat, No running out to grab a Lil' Caesars Pizza... So I'll be staying home doing all the things.

I need to get my tomatoes and banana peppers and yellow squash in the planters. My son drilled the bottoms of the containers for drainage last weekend,  so they are ready to be filled now. 

I'm also going to  finally "fix" the painting one of my friends asked me to do. She has a lovely kind of abstract painting of a lady in formal attire standing in a room. It's lovely, but both my friend and I start to get depressed when it's hung up for more than an hour. The more you look at it- the more depressing it becomes. The colours are lovely but it needs a serious upgrade and she told me "I don't want it back in my house until it's changed,- can you do something with it? If you can't fix it- paint something of your own over it."

So I've had it for 6 months- I try to envision it changed by some way- but I came up with nothing... Then I got the idea to change the  position of it. I've had it sideways, upside down, and upside down sideways. And I finally saw the vision of the painting I'm going to do for her.  The lady is standing with one hand propped on her hip and I can use that as a beginning of a mesa rock arch landscape. The colours are perfect for it- and with a bit of gold and terracotta added here and there it should be a lovely Sunset on the Mesa Arch. I may even add a bit of a creek or river in the foreground for some contrast to all the reddish earth tones.

I'll try to post photos of it- before and after. No promises tho- I'm still trying to get my laptop set up and haven't gotten around to  getting FB and Blogspot set up on it yet...That's going to be another thing I try to tackle this weekend- time permitting. 

I'm also going to ask my son and grandson make a churn of homemade ice cream, too. I've found that the different flavours of International Delight Coffee Creamers are FABULOUS for home churned ice cream- My favorite so far is the Reese's Flavor with broken up mini-pb cups added to it!!!  And you know it's good because up until now my LEAST favorite flavour homemade ice-cream has been chocolate.  However I love the plain Vanilla(reminds me of snow cream we make with winter 2nd snow) , Banana split-LOVE that combination together(Vanilla with pineapple, strawberry, maraschino cherries with chocolate syrup drizzled over the top when its in your bowl- and don't forget the whipped cream and nuts(if you like them). Then too, there is Peach, and Strawberry- and Orange Creamsicle. Oh My Word!!!!

Childhood memories- planting a garden and Home-made ice-cream!!!!!!  It doesn't get much better than that!!!!!

I Don't Understand Procrastination....

 I personally don't get it. 

Why do most people procrastinate? I just dont get it.

In my world- if I realise something needs doing, if I'm not doing something that needs doing MORE urgently, I do the first thing and as soon as it's done I start the second thing. 

Why put it off and take the chance of it getting forgotten about until it's too late?

I understand prioritizing things, but to know something needs to be done by a deadline(such as TAXES) ...

Just why?

You know your brakes have been screeching for two months- why do you wait until they fail on you to finally get them replaced? Like now- as soon as my clutch make the first vibration/shimmy- I was off to the mechanic(who I refer to as Maggie's Gynecologist/surgeon- Maggie is my cars name btw). And it's a good thing too- I have an appointment scheduled for an entire clutch kit to be replaced on her on the 28&29th. IF she holds out that long.  I don't know the hows or whys it started doing it- but I highly suspect that it may have something to do with the 255k miles on her. She's a 2007 and she is a doll of a car. 

I had a little toyota Celica many years ago that was a lot like her- I got both when they were up in years. I babysat two kids for a lady for an entire month in trade for the Celica. (basically I got paid $25 a week to babysit so I got her $100. She lasted for two years and I only had to replace the brakes when I first got her. But when she decided she was done- SHE WAS DONE and all the things went the same day- no warnings, no screeching, scrubbing or slipping or shimmying... She just quit. Both the Celica and Maggie(Mazda) were/are the most dependable, easy on gas cars ever. Until the Celica wasnt-  and on the last day of school for my kids before Summer break,  the brakes went out and the alternator went out along with the clutch AND transmission as I was headed home from picking them up from school...I was literally coasting her back into the driveway using the handbrake when I got home. God was looking out for us that day thank god the school was only a half mile from the house!!! At least the tires didnt blow out, right????

Hubby 2 was a mechanic and he gave me the bad news- it was going to cost more to fix her than she was actually worth. I had to be towed to the scrapyard and I CRIED the whole way.  I love the Celica- and I love Maggie equally. The only car I loved more than them was my 72 Challenger. No car will EVER replace her.

Anyway- I digress- the point is- why put off doing something you KNOW needs doing?

Even worse is putting off something you will ENJOY doing!! 

Why Procrastinate??

Not a Single Thing

 This weekend I didnt do a single solitary useful thing. I didn't get my seeds planted, didn't get Maggie detailed, didn't get my room picked up. Didn't cook, didn't do laundry, didnt drive anywhere- didn't watch a movie-(which is usually my fav thing to do on the weekends...just sitting watching a movie with my kids- or sitting on the front porch swing or on the back deck in the shade feeling the breeze on my face(I would say in my hair but I chopped that all off a couple weeks ago-LOL) and just listening to the quiet and peace of nature). I literally SLEPT all weekend.

On the way home from work Friday I got hit numerous times in the face by direct unfiltered sunlight. Bright light- be it natural OR artificial hitting my eyes equals instant migraine. It's Number 2 of my migraine triggers- closely following behind heavy cloying perfumes, colognes or body sprays. The only deodorant that has ever triggered one is the old BRUT deodorant spray. And I don't think they even make BRUT anymore - thank heaven for small miracles.

I actually had to pull the car over twice because I felt like I was going to throw up from the pain. Luckily, I made it home where I immediately took one of my prescription migraine tablets and went to bed. Those things are tiny but they pack a PUNCH- even halved they still knock me OUT for 12 or more hours.

The entire weekend I was awake long enough to eat twice and then it was straight back to bed.  I might have woken up and tried to do something on my computer- but honestly I'm not sure if I actually DID that(the computer was in the same place and off when I got up this morning) or if it was just a la-la-land dream.  That's another side effect of those tablets- crazy realistic weird dreams. They make total sense while I'm dreaming but on the rare occasion I remember them when I wake up I think "HTH did I ever think that was actually possible in my dream?????" Sometimes I wish I could remember how I did some of the things because if I could get a patent I'd be Elaine Musk RICH!!! 

Anywho- that is why I suffer thru migraines on work days. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell I could drive on Patrol  when I'm taking my migraine medication. I wouldn't even be able to sit at a desk.

What I'd do is become the Queen of the DREAM TEAM. That's what my sister and I call the on duty sleepers. 

Not My Style. Not even in my wildest Migraine Medded up dreams!!!

*I feel much better today- and am wearing my sunglasses.

Re-Evaluating...

So as you all know I moved back to the UK about Two years, Two months, and Nine days ago.

 At the time when I first returned, I swore that I wouldn't divorce- just to keep me from being an idiot again, but things happen. A LOT has happened in that time.

And HELL NO- it's not another man in my life. I was serious as a dang heart attack when I said I'll never marry again. 

But there are other aspects of life that need to be resolved at this point in my life and as S2BX isn't in my life except in name- I think it's time we move on- legally. S2BX is still young enough he can find someone romantically compatible and maybe even have a baby or two of his own - if he is so inclined. And if some legal things come up in the future, I don't want him to be held accountable for the fees involved just because we are still married in name. It was MY choice to leave and move back to America, even tho my choice was entirely determined by my interpretation of his actions. I'm pretty positive he feels the same way about my actions as well.

It turns out, in South Carolina we can file for a No-Fault Divorce if we have been separated/not co-habited for 1 year or more. No one was at fault- we just decided it was over and made it so.

I cant say there isn't animosity- there isn't on my part- but he has said to me that if it were up to him he'd never have to think about me or hear my name again...plus, he asked me not to contact him again.

I was honoring his wishes, but then I found out we could do the No-Fault Divorce so I did contact him a couple days ago to let him know what it involved and he, without hesitation or anger(none that I could sense in the text anyway) said- yes, please, do it. So I think he may be ready to move on as well. So I'll be going forward with the NFD proceedings as soon as it can be arranged.

I continue to wish him only happiness in the future.

Destruction of Humanity- It's Our Own Fault.

  I was listening to SCPR this morning and  one of the people said that Human Consumption is destroying the world. 

I unfortunately think they are correct. 

I'm trying to cut back on our footprint on this earth, but I think overall, it's a lost cause because the majority of the population of this wonderful planet just doesnt have it in them to THINK about how much  trash they put out into the world on a daily..... multiply that by the number of people on this planet and we are pretty much doomed- and I don't think it will take much longer to completely ruin our planet. Maybe we've gone too far to turn back the hands of time.

I literally break into a cold sweat when I take our stuff to the recycling center and see how much other people are using and taking there. 

Remember when COVID hit and the world came to almost a complete standstill...everyone was isolating- the air quality improved drastically and the ozone started healing......

It hasn't been that long since the restrictions were lifted- not really.... and we are back to using and disposing of more than ever.

Can this planet and humanity be saved? 

At this rate- I doubt it. But you can try to convince me otherwise if you like. I really would like to be proven wrong.

Thank God It's Over!!!!

 So March 2026 was almost a total bust.  A couple of good things happened- but on the general scale from 1-10 it was a defo 2.

I said April has GOT to be better, but if this morning is any indication of how good it's going to be I'm gonna say it's gonna be even worse than March.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out how to circumvent the chaos.... but, so far, I got Nuffin.

I'm pretty sure (about 99.9999999999999% )it's just small issues coupled with the misery of spring pollen season that is making things seem much worse than they are. 

Why oh WHY cant it be Autumn all year long? Very little pollen, beautiful crisp cool weather, Amazing colours surrounding us everywhere we look..... I'm just so relaxed during that time of year!!!

Summers are the worst for me- Miserable heat and humidity,  direct glaring blazing sunshine you just can't hide from unless you live in a cave. I don't think I'd mind it nearly so much if there was a refreshing water source nearby to play in- a pool, a brook, a creek, a pond, a lake or even (as much as I don't like it there) the beach.- I know I only live 20 minutes from the lake- but in the summer it seems like those 20 short miles may as well be 220..... and when I say close- I mean within walking distance... 

 I'll try to be in a better mood tomorrow y'all. 

In the meantime- enjoy the tom-foolery of the day!!!