Thursday, May 19, 2011

I Miss........

Oh God.

I think my first bout of Homesickness has hit. What triggered it? Noise.
All. The. Time.
The TV goes on as soon as someone gets up. And stays on practically all day. It NEVER goes off unless we ALL go out to the shops or a doctors appointment. Even tho no ones actually 'watching, it's on as "Background noise". I've taken to staying home when everyone else goes out shopping just so I can turn the TV off and enjoy 20 minutes of total quiet while I'm alone.
I go for a walk....traffic noise. And car stereos blasting. The park- Ghetto Blasters. Even the library isn't quiet. It's on main street and they keep the door propped open so the noise from the cars and buses is heard as they go by.

I miss being able to get in the car and go to Wal-Mart. I know- it's so redneck typical, but some of the funniest things Paul & I laugh about happened at Wal-Mart. I hear the UK version of it is ASDA- but I haven't been there yet. I haven't even been to a Costco. I've seen TWO McDonald's since being in the UK and only one KFC. Haven't actually BEEN to either of them tho. I've seen a commercial for Burger King but I haven't actually seen one here. They must be camping out around the Unicorn Cave, which btw, I haven't found either.

I'm in the process of looking for a job now- even something part time would get me out of the house a few hours a day, and I think help immensely. I thought coming over here Paul and I would get all our stuff sorted, have jobs and be on our own within a three or four months. I see now I was being overly optimistic. I see us being here til at least the first of the year.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my in-laws. They are being very generous about everything. It's just me and my Rose colored Glasses have set my sights a bit high for realism, I think. It's hard after being on your own for years and years to move into another adults home and try to stay out from try and make their routine as unchanged as possible to keep problems from coming up.

I'm sure all this will get better as soon as I get a job and have some time away from the house and gain a bit of independence again.

But for now- at this moment-I miss the wide open spaces of home. I miss feeling free and feeling like an adult, not like a child who knows nothing and is too stupid to know even the basics of life here-even tho I have done them a thousand times at home. I miss feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that I'm strong and competent and in control of SOMETHING-ANYTHING. I miss being good at my job. I miss my Family. I miss my pets(even stupid Lucy), and I miss driving. I miss me & Paul swapping the remote and choosing what shows to watch on the TV, or where to go for dinner on my days off. I miss my car with Clays memorial decal on it and I miss having a place to PUT things without them getting mislaid or moved. I miss alone time with my hubby and feeling like it's me and him against the world.

I don't LIKE this homesickness thing. It sux.


Armando Macatrão said...

Hello, my names's Armando. I enjoyed reading this "I miss..." post. I think it's well written and I like the imagery in it and it reminds me of what I've once felt right after I left my hometown in Portugal. I was only eight. Toronto was a great city. However, my family, friends, the things I grew up with weren't there. I've returned to my hometown (Nazaré, in Portugal) for good about twenty years ago. I'm a writer and I work at a language school. I'm going to ask some of my students to read it in class in order to discuss its ideas in class. I think it'll be good for them because they'll be able to learn new vocabulary and may even try to spot the differences between the British and North American English.
Armando Macatrão

Lavada said...

Well, Thank you Armando. Blessings to you and your class.