Rant-Gone Nuclear.

Okay, so why is it that when I get up- if the first damn thing that I try goes wrong- EVERY-EFFING-THING else I try goes wrong too?

It soooo PISSES me off!!!

Yesterday-THAT's when it all started!!! First of all on the WAY to work- I hear my cellphone tinkling music- I pull over and look at it- and it's battery is dead- DESPITE the fact I made sure it had three bars before I left the house FIVE DAMN MINUTES BEFORE!!!!!! Oh well, Just prayed I didn't have a reason to need it before getting to work.
So on I went, thankfully with no incidents.
Then as I approach work- I notice there are NO CARS there. Oh shit. That means all the patients were sent home- and I'll have it all to myself.
Alone.
Sigh...I go in- sure 'nuff- I got it to myself. That means I can't climb the stairs like I've started doing the past couple weeks...if my blood sugar drops and I fall- I'm screwed if I'm there alone. So I think- I know- I have my shoes with my Nike sensor in it- I can walk on the third floor and rack up some extra mileage on my challenges!! Whoooo hooo!!
Except.......The battery is dead in my iPOD too. Damnitt!!!!!
Okay...so on to plan...ummm...whatever number it is. I know- I think I have a book in my carry-on.....(I take it with me to work cause it holds all my "girl-stuff" , meds, etc....)...so I dig in it to find I do NOT have a book with me.
But wait!!!!!- Look!!! I have my NOOK- I can read after all!!!!!!!!!
EXCEPT........The battery in it is so low it won't turn on either. Well for FUCK sake!!!!!!

So I just give up at that point and start my second tour of the night. Using the elevators. Which I hate doing. But have to do because there's no one there...just in case. Better safe than sorry and all that. Well, I reach the 5th floor- and call the elevator to ride it DOWN.....and it takes almost 7 whole minutes to get to the 5th floor.....all the way up I can hear it making these GOD AWFUL noises coming from the elevator shaft. Sounds like someone is throwing 10 pound rocks around in it. Well, it gets to the 5th floor after bouncing from floor to floor without stopping, and the door finally opens. It reminded me of a horror story I read once- I think it was Tower of Evil or something like that......The elevator doors were opened and it was like a siren call. But I didn't bite. I backed AWAY from the damn thing, mesmerized. After a couple of minutes, the doors slid shut and it started it's descent. DAMN- Did it EVER......NOW it sounded like it had a couple of guys with sledgehammers in it beating the crap out of it. Jerking and banging like I've NEVER heard before!!!! ...and you could HEAR pieces of something falling down the elevator shaft!! I was scared to freaking DEATH!!! I called and requested maintenance engineer help. He was there in about 40 minutes, in which time the elevator was still banging around nonstop-on it's OWN- and when my supervisor showed up- he listened and then left me to it. Nothing he could do- so he took care of everything else while I waited on our "guy" to get there.

So he came- turned the power completely off to that elevator and then left.
Okaaaaaaaaay............????

So, then, despite the fact I really really REALLY didn't want to- I ended up doing all my tours for the rest of the night by the stairs. Yes- there was two other elevators I COULD have taken....that sit right next to the one that went Apeshit, Batshit Crazy.
No. Thank. You.
Matter of fact- I may NEVER ride an elevator again for the rest of my LIFE!!!!

Ugh...so my night finally ends- and I come home...to a kitchen floor full of garbage the cats have somehow got into and spread all over the floor. OMFuckingG.
I resisted the urge to find them and pull all their teeth and claws out with pliers and then squeeze their little heads til their eyes popped out and flew across the room.
(Deep Breaths...Deep Breaths..............)
Then I walk thru the living room and fall over the fan that's been left in the middle of the floor by the desk...(I don't turn on lights when I come in because I don't want to disturb Hubby sleeping because we moved our bed into the living room because it's the only room in the house that has A/C.)...anyway.........so I go to the bathroom and try to go potty- and not really paying attention, sit down without looking. ...I know what you're thinking- but no- it wasn't Hubby. The cats had been playing or fell into the toilet bowl and had the entire SEAT drenched in water. Thank GOD hubby isn't one to forget to flush. (Best Hubby Ever.) So then I have to shower. So I get finished in the bathroom and walk back into the living room towards the bed, and trip over the stupid ottoman that had been pulled to the middle of the room to play a game on the console and not put back when the game was over. Those cats have GOT to remember to put things back where they found them . ;-)
So ........I climb in bed and sleep. Only to wake myself up half dozen times with MY OWN DAMN SNORING!

I finally get up- read a few blogs, read my Tweets, and then decide MC Etcher had a great idea about Breakfast for a meal besides breakfast.

I go to the kitchen, and have to wash two sinks of dishes and clean the stove before I can even BEGIN to think about cooking. So I do... with the stupid cats under my feet then ENTIRE TIME!!

So I'm hungry, having to get all hot and sweaty washing dishes with the cats tripping me up at every step. I finish up the dishes and the stove and put the bacon in the pan. Almost burn it because I forgot to turn the heat DOWN after the pan got hot. But it was all good- didn't burn but was nice and ...crispy-crunchy.
Then I took it up and went to get the bread for the toast....to find there was only a couple slices of bread.
That was the final straw. I took the plate of bacon and the bread to my hubby for his breakfast, and sat down here to try and chill the F out.(See? It's working- I just used the letter this time instead of the F-word like I did at the beginning of this post!!)

So right now- I'm sitting here with my Blood pressure sky high...... in desperate need of a pack of cigarettes, a drink(or seven), a big thick juicy steak with baked potato with sour cream and butter, and a huge slice of chocolate cake with Mocha frosting.

Sooooo.......how was YOUR Labor Day?????