Tuesday, May 29, 2007


- A Tribute to the men in my life; Paul, Frank, Clayton, Dad, Charlie, T.J., Devon, Christopher, and baby St.Nicholas.....

What I Have Learned About Men................

1)Men Like FIRE.
Something about fire fascinates them- be it a flame from a match, from a charcoal grill, a roaring bonfire, or a burning building surrounded by Big, Red, Shiny Firetrucks(see#9).

2)Men Like To Take Things Apart.
Even when they KNOW they won't be able to put it back together they cannot resist seeing how it works.

3)Men Like to Blow Things Up.

A more noisy variation of fire I suppose.

4)Men LIKE Things Messy/Cluttered.
Men like to be able to SEE their possessions at ALL times. (Women like things put away so it gives the illusion they have plenty of room to acquire even MORE possessions.)

5)Men Like to Teach.
Men like to explain the things they know about to those around them who CLEARLY don't understand the whys and wherefores of the aforementioned "things" or 'ideas". (Hehehehehehehhe.....Paulius was reading over this while it was still on paper and said"I don't agree with #5 because....." and proceeded to explain why ...therefore educating me about why it could be wrong.....and ironically proving my point).

6)Men Like To Be Needed.
Be it for big things like repairing the computer or car, moving furniture, building a pond...or small things like opening a stuck jar lid or just knowing where the lost car keys are.

7)Men Like To Eat.
As long as it's a food they don't detest they will try it once. ESPECIALLY if it's cooked over FIRE.(See # 1)
(Sometimes even a food they detest can be camouflaged with breading or a crust and if they aren't TOLD its a food they detest- will like it anyway. Be smart- Don't point out what is actually is until they ASK.)

8)Men Like To Keep Their Emotions Hidden.
I think this is because men's emotions are so different from women's. Men have three levels of emotions.....complete indifference(which as women we refuse to acknowledge because this level doesn't actually exist for us...women have about 3.7 million levels....on a GOOD day), total love(which men like to keep hidden away 99% of the time because, well, it's just not manly according to other men), or total hatred(which can result in actions that can land you in trouble with the law or dead-and neither is a good option).

9)Men Like Things That Have Wheels and /or Motors.
Motorcycles, autos, trucks, bikes, skateboards or skates, lawnmowers, wheel-barrows, trailers, ATVs....the list just goes on and on.......
If it ROLLS it has their attention and the shinier and more "Options" it has-the better.

10)Men Like Gadgets.
Men have the curiosity of cats. They see a gadget and they have to pick it up and view it from ALL possible angles........front, back, both sides, right side up and upside down for an hour before getting down to the business of taking it apart.(See #2) They are especially drawn to gadgets that make funny noises and/or have flashing lights.... and ESPECIALLY ones that have a remote control.

11)Men Have Defective Hearing.
Unless it involves FIRE, or food, or gadgets, or wheels, or motors, or unless it blows up(see # 1, #7, #10, #9 x 2, & #3).

That said, I would like to say that men make the world go round- they are the icing on the cake of life and I wouldn't want to live in a world where these wonderful, interesting creatures did not exist. They make us laugh, cry, sigh and occasionally throw our hands up in despair, but they make our lives and our world complete. So, to the men in my life, I would like to say "Thank You" for making my my life such a wonderful roller-coaster ride.

I love you all more than Life.


marie said...

that is so very true. just today i could NOT talk frank out of building a fire to grill out, next thing i know my cousin his two boys and devon are all in my backyard standing around the fire poking it with sticks(while nicholas is standing in backdoor blocked by the baby gate going "oooohhhh...."i just shook my head and admitted defeat.

manda said...

This shouldn't be a definition of men, but of Pauli Cracker.

According to your definition of men, I'm like half a man. Because I definitely like the first 3 for myself and a few others.

Except Alex isn't messy. It's disturbingly clean. Maybe that's just because he knows I'm coming over, but normally it's not messy at all.. it's gross. I feel dirty in his cleanliness.

Sunny said...

Manda dear,

most women have at LEAST a BIT of "men" in them....why else would they call us woMEN?
I also shre some traits with them.....maybe even more than you have actually- but just because we share some of the same traits doesn't mean we are "one of the boys" if you know what i mean.

Men- you gotta love em.