........................Crying

I keep thinking this is just one of my horrible nightmares again.
Seriously. I've had nightmares like this all my life- ever since I was about 4 -and sometimes they seem so real and go on and on for months...dream-time. Usually they involve stuff like a nuclear-war, but sometimes they involve people I actualy know and love...like about a month ago I dreamed that my eldest son was working for a construction crew and had to crawl under a building to run some conduit and he and the guy who was working with him was involved in a cave in and he died after 4 days of being stuck in there. And it felt just like this. It hurt reallly badly and I was crying and then I woke up crying and couldn't breath then either. When I woke up I dressed and went straight to his house and told him about the nightmare and he hugged me and told me not to worry and he wouldn't be crawling under anything anytime soon.

Only I'm actually beginning to think this may not BE one of those nightmares......It still feels unreal- but that floaty, unreal feeling is starting to feel like numb reality does when I'm actually awake.

And I usually can't taste the salt in my tears in my nightmares either, but now I can.

I may not be posting for a while. I need to take a break.