Regrets- I've Had A Few.............

Did I ever tell you I used to model when I was younger-in high school and just out of?
Runway modeling....it was so much fun, but Mom & Dad refused to let me do any modeling outside anything local-except one show in Virginia(they had heard too many horror stories of white slavery and prostitution, which granted did happen sometimes if you didn't sign with a reputable and legit agency)- and so I didn't get to see if I could make a go of it.
If I knew then what I know now- I swear I would have left home and did what I wanted to do instead of being a "good" daughter and obeying my parents.
What are some parents thinking sometimes? Why do some parents have the need to be overbearing and reluctant to let their kids do what will make them happy? Or at the very least let them TRY what they want to do in life?
I might have fallen flat on my face and decided it wasn't what I wanted after all, but I wasn't even allowed to have the chance to find out.
The local shows I did were so exciting- and I LOVED doing them- being the center of attention for a few minutes for a couple of hours while I was out there. I used to get such a rush from the lights and the make-up and the cool clothes and even the harried pace of having to be changed in less than two minutes before I had to be back out there walking the walk again. I was always exhausted after the shows- but I was always happy,too.
Maybe that's why I am having such a hard time adjusting and finding any job that I really like now. Maybe that's part of the reason I'm having such a hard time with my weight now as well. I figure that my time to shine has passed and I didn't get to shine the way I wanted or for as long as I wanted and I have just given up.
But I haven't given up. Not on getting back down to close to the size I was then.
I've also been thinking about going to the local agency here in town and talking to the agency director about signing on for some local shows again- AFTER I lose my weight, that is.
The one thing I definately DON'T want to do is be a PLUS-PLUS size model. I would still be a plus size model if I lost down to a size 12, believe it or not.
I have no idea what Paulius might think of this idea. I haven't been quite brave enough to actually talk with him about the possibility of doing it. I still have to lose this extra weigh first before even seriously entertaining the idea of doing local shows again.
But he is a wonderful, supportive husband and I don't think he would have a problem with it should I decide to go for it.
He's perfect like that, you know.

Why is life never simple?