.Ahhhh.................................

Ahhhhhh........so much going on this month.

Paul and I are in the middle of trying to sort the house out a bit before his parents come over for a visit next month. I've been very lax about doing any deep cleaning since Clays accident last August and things have sort of gotten out of control altho I have had my son, Frank, and his wife Marie come over a couple of times to help me set things straight. So things aren't in NEARLY as bad shape as they could be. I'll probably get them to come over the week before Pauls parents arrive to help us out a bit then too. Both Marie and Frank have been lifesavers , being there for us anytime we need help.
We actually have very little left to do....Cleaning out the 40 foot hallway AGAIN is at the top of my list.......BUT.....what I'm going to do now tho is get the REST of the house sorted and do the hallway again the last weekend before they come for their visit. I don't know what it is about that hallway ....it just CALLS for stuff to be put there and used as a storage spot. Never mind that my front door opens directly into the hallway and it looks horrible for it to be used as a storage area.....it still calls to us.

Tuesday will be a year since our Clays accident that took him from us. And no- I still haven't been able to refer to it as the day he *D-Word*. I can say it's the day he left us...or the day he had his accident, but that's as far as it has went. I'm still fragile and I think just saying it would finally push me over the edge and bring it home as REAL. I can feel the overwhelming emotion bubbling up from deep in me sometimes and I start to panic and think to myself that he's just on a LONG trip and someday I'll see him again......so far it works to keep me from falling apart. Sometimes people say the *D-Word* in front of me and I actually cringe and have to walk away.

We're planning a candlelight memorial service for him at the cemetery next Tuesday.......It's not going to be a BIG thing- Just a few people have been told about it. I know some of his friends will probably want to do the same at the accident site, but I can't attend that one. It just kills me to go there and see the spot where he was found that night. My heart will be there with them- but I can't actually BE there with them.

Anyway........I've gotten a LOT of rest this weekend, I think I've slept more this past week on my days off than I have in years in the same amount of time. But other than a couple of things to do, I had nothing pressing to do so I used it for exactly what I wanted to do.......Absolutely nothing but sleep as late as I wanted....and if I got sleepy during the day- I took a nap too.
It was GREAT. I may do that MORE often actually!!

I'm crocheting an afghan - actually two- as Christmas gifts and have been working madly to get one of them finished. I'm maybe a half way thru it at the moment but have HIGH hopes to get it finished so I can finish the other one before Christmas as well.

My new business cards finally arrived!! They're so cute!!! VERY Christmas-y.......
I'm hoping to get a couple more jobs before the holiday season hits full blast. I've probably given out a third of them already so maybe I will.
The south is a really ODD place to try a business like this....most people consider it the ultimate routine after Thanksgiving to put up their Christmas decorations. Thank GOD for people (like my sister Nina) who HATES putting up and decorating their own home and/or store for the Holidays. That's where I come in. I have skipped a few years doing it- Last year it was because I was in grieving for Clay- the two years before that it was because I was grieving for my Dad's passing. But the LAST conversation I had with Clay- three days before his accident- he had told me he wanted me to start having a REAL Christmas like we used to....he told me how he missed he smells and sights of a real "Mama" Christmas and he wanted his baby- as well as the rest of the Grand-babies to KNOW how Christmas was supposed to be. He told me what a wonderful time it always was for him and how some of his fondest memories were of the holidays and how special I had always made them for him and his brother and sister. And I promised- from now on, A Live tree and the house dressed to the nines for the holidays.

And so it shall be.

Uh-oh.....I feel my blood sugar dropping so I have to end this here.....More later!!!

Have a GREAT weekend!!!!