Sunday, August 31, 2008
Yeah- I've decided that what I really want is a kitchen with a drainboard sink.....so I go to the INTERNET to see what's available...and OMG!!! The most inexpensive one I could find was over 700 dollars!! And most of them were in the 1500 dollar range.
Did seeing those prices change my mind about wanting one? Nope- not in the least....My Kitchen is one place I don't mind splurging. And My Bedroom....
Okay I'll admit it- my dream house will have one special thing in each room.......
Our Kitchen will have a drainboard sink AND a double oven. I don't care if it only gets used on holiday and special occasions...I WANT a DOUBLE OVEN!!!!
Our Bedroom will have a HUGE walk-in closet so ALL our clothing can go in it. All I want in the actual bedroom is a huge bed with a cedar memories chest at the foot, two nightstands and an armoire with a TV and DVD player in it facing the Bed.
Our Living Room/Great Room will have a fireplace. Preferably a two sided one so it can be seen in the dining area as well.
Our bathroom will have a DEEP soaking tub and a seperate shower big enough for two.
All our bedrooms will be upstairs away from the main living areas.
Our study/ library will be lined with built-in bookshelves maybe even a small fireplace in it too.
And we have to have a huge back porch with a roof and preferably screened in so the "skeeters" don't haul us off at night. And again- an outside fireplace would be wonderful out there as well.
And as long as I'm creating a wish list- a POOL would be nice. I might even learn to swim then.
It doesn't have to be a HUGE house- Just perfect.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Well, here it is my weekend off again and I have a bazillion things I NEED to do instead of the next to nothing I WANT to do.
As I've posted before, I have almost completely re-done our bathroom except for the Tub and Sink.....There's only ONE more project I want to get done in there this month before my in-laws come over but that's about it for the bath. It LOOKS much more spacious than it did before, so I'm happy with the overall look in there now.
I just want to replace the tiny mirror with the light fixture attached to it to a large framed mirror and have the light fixture moved to hang above the mirror. Not a BIG job- just a kind of tedious one with no window giving light to the bathroom. Yeah- no window. I'll have to get my son, Frank, or my Brother, Chuck, to come help me with that one.
Anyway, I also want to paint my 40 foot main hallway and then put my Photo Gallery in there on the long blank wall. That spot just SCREAMS for attention....always has but until recently I haven't been able to figure out quite what to do with it!
Yeah- That was quite a feat because I ALWAYS know what to do with odd spots like that. I'm only one credit away from having a degree in Interior Design.....and that's just because I DETEST knowing the antiques...they BORE me to TEARS and my mind just won't retain the info long enough for me to get that one measly credit! So I suppose I'll have to settle for the Interior Decorator Certification instead. Eh, no matter- I only use it for my personal use and to help relatives figure out their decorating problems anyway, so no biggie....It just really bugs me to have something NOT completed. You know?
I also want to re-seal around my kitchen sink, as well. I think I'll get that done just before bedtime one night so it can cure overnight while we sleep. No moisture can get to it until its completely dry/cured so it probably needs to be done while we sleep, don't ya think?
I have the fridge to clean- I haven't done that in a couple months so it needs a really good cleaning this month. And I want to clean the carpets in the house, too. That's gonna be a big job. The carpet needs replacing actually- but the idiot who put the carpet down GLUED it down with some industrial strength glue so it won't be coming up for about another 4 years. So now you see why I have such a hissy-fit when the dogs have accidents on the carpets. It's a major deal with me. M-A-J-O-R!
As for anything else- I'm not planning on much else to do before the parents come over. Just work and try and make as much money as I possibly can so we can DO stuff with them when they come over. I have quite a few days off while they're here so we'll be able to do what-ever or go where-ever we want.
I also have to finish making their Christmas Gift for them.....I'm about 5 days away from having it done- altho I'm thinking that if I put my mind to it and put off the other projects I need to do til my NEXT long weekend, I can probably finish it THIS weekend. That would be a LOAD off my mind.
On the upside, I've had several people express interest in getting me to make them one -(An Afghan)- as well. They see me working on the in-laws at work in between duties and on my breaks and LOVE it. I also have had an interest in my cakes I've been bringing to work. I have an order in for a Lemon cake for next Friday so maybe this will all develop into some extra income for me and I can forget about working a part time job for someone else. I can do my OWN thing!!!
Anyway, time for me to finish cleaning my kitchen..........so Later Gators!!!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2) Place them on your , along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4) Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey , Big Jim, Duke and Slim:
I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
We have been having bad tornadic storms all day but just before time for us to go to the service it stopped raining so off we went. Well, we got up there and it had started drizzling again. So we lit up the candles...sort of. They would burn for a few seconds- then flicker and go out........after 20 minutes of it and re-lighting them we were all laughing and said it was Clay doing it....and they all went out again. Hahahahaha. I can just see Clay and the other Angels sitting round and Clay looking over the cloud and saying..."Hey Y'all...watch this..."
Then we all told a few "Clay" stories celebrating his life and things we did with him.... and THEN it started POURING again.
And STILL we stayed for another 30 minutes, talking and laughing-just sharing memories of our boy while we got wetter and wetter, the rain dripping off us like we were standing under the shower-head at home..
I can just see Clay and the Angels watching us and shaking their heads and saying..."Look at those fools...don't even know when to get out of the rain..." and then laughing their wings off at us fools out there looking seriously like drowned rats.
In the end I had to be the sensible, mature one who said" I hate to break this up- but if we stay much longer we're all gonna have pneumonia. So I love you and GO HOME now."
I hugged them and thanked them all for the memories, and we all left to go home and dry out.
Not a tear one was shed- we celebrated his life and laughter in the best way we could possibly have done so- to share one of life's little adventures together and share a memory that involved laughter and him.
I'd say it was a most fitting memorial.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Charles Clayton Howe
December 11, 1983 - August 26, 2007
My Darling Baby Boy....
You're gone but far from forgotten,
altho we are apart,
Your spirit lives on within us-
Forever & Always in our hearts.
One year has passed- the pain of losing you hasn't.
We miss you more than you know.
Love, a MILLION BAZILLION,
Mama & Your Loving Family.
By Martha White ©1996
When tomorrow starts without me
and I'm not there to see..
If the sun should rise
and find your eyes..
all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry..
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand..
an angel came and called my name
and took me by the hand
He said my place was ready..
in heaven far above,
but said I would have to leave behind..
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all my life, I'd always thought..
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for..
and so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays..
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
I thought, just for awhile..
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized..
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories..
would take the place of me.
And when I think of worldly things,
that I would miss tomorrow..
I think of you, and when I do,
my heart is filled with sorrow.
But as I walked through heaven's gates..
I felt so much at home,
as God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great, golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity
and all I've promised you",
Today life on earth is past..
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful,
so trusting, and so true.
There were those times..
you did some things..
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you’re free.
So won't you take my hand..
and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me..
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me..
I'm right here in your heart.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Okay- for all you who I haven't talked to yet......
Tee is still in the hospital but is awake and responsive now and has been put in a regular room. She was, indeed, in anaphylactic shock from all the ant-bites and she also has a kidney infection like I had.
She should be fine and released in just a few days time.
Thank you all for all the concern, prayers and love sent our way.
Love to all,
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Last night, my sister and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
She's so hateful....
(My Sister, Nina sent this to me a couple days ago......Thanks, Sweetie - I needed the laugh.)
Friday, August 22, 2008
Paul and I are in the middle of trying to sort the house out a bit before his parents come over for a visit next month. I've been very lax about doing any deep cleaning since Clays accident last August and things have sort of gotten out of control altho I have had my son, Frank, and his wife Marie come over a couple of times to help me set things straight. So things aren't in NEARLY as bad shape as they could be. I'll probably get them to come over the week before Pauls parents arrive to help us out a bit then too. Both Marie and Frank have been lifesavers , being there for us anytime we need help.
We actually have very little left to do....Cleaning out the 40 foot hallway AGAIN is at the top of my list.......BUT.....what I'm going to do now tho is get the REST of the house sorted and do the hallway again the last weekend before they come for their visit. I don't know what it is about that hallway ....it just CALLS for stuff to be put there and used as a storage spot. Never mind that my front door opens directly into the hallway and it looks horrible for it to be used as a storage area.....it still calls to us.
Tuesday will be a year since our Clays accident that took him from us. And no- I still haven't been able to refer to it as the day he *D-Word*. I can say it's the day he left us...or the day he had his accident, but that's as far as it has went. I'm still fragile and I think just saying it would finally push me over the edge and bring it home as REAL. I can feel the overwhelming emotion bubbling up from deep in me sometimes and I start to panic and think to myself that he's just on a LONG trip and someday I'll see him again......so far it works to keep me from falling apart. Sometimes people say the *D-Word* in front of me and I actually cringe and have to walk away.
We're planning a candlelight memorial service for him at the cemetery next Tuesday.......It's not going to be a BIG thing- Just a few people have been told about it. I know some of his friends will probably want to do the same at the accident site, but I can't attend that one. It just kills me to go there and see the spot where he was found that night. My heart will be there with them- but I can't actually BE there with them.
Anyway........I've gotten a LOT of rest this weekend, I think I've slept more this past week on my days off than I have in years in the same amount of time. But other than a couple of things to do, I had nothing pressing to do so I used it for exactly what I wanted to do.......Absolutely nothing but sleep as late as I wanted....and if I got sleepy during the day- I took a nap too.
It was GREAT. I may do that MORE often actually!!
I'm crocheting an afghan - actually two- as Christmas gifts and have been working madly to get one of them finished. I'm maybe a half way thru it at the moment but have HIGH hopes to get it finished so I can finish the other one before Christmas as well.
My new business cards finally arrived!! They're so cute!!! VERY Christmas-y.......
I'm hoping to get a couple more jobs before the holiday season hits full blast. I've probably given out a third of them already so maybe I will.
The south is a really ODD place to try a business like this....most people consider it the ultimate routine after Thanksgiving to put up their Christmas decorations. Thank GOD for people (like my sister Nina) who HATES putting up and decorating their own home and/or store for the Holidays. That's where I come in. I have skipped a few years doing it- Last year it was because I was in grieving for Clay- the two years before that it was because I was grieving for my Dad's passing. But the LAST conversation I had with Clay- three days before his accident- he had told me he wanted me to start having a REAL Christmas like we used to....he told me how he missed he smells and sights of a real "Mama" Christmas and he wanted his baby- as well as the rest of the Grand-babies to KNOW how Christmas was supposed to be. He told me what a wonderful time it always was for him and how some of his fondest memories were of the holidays and how special I had always made them for him and his brother and sister. And I promised- from now on, A Live tree and the house dressed to the nines for the holidays.
And so it shall be.
Uh-oh.....I feel my blood sugar dropping so I have to end this here.....More later!!!
Have a GREAT weekend!!!!
Monday, August 18, 2008
People of the world....
Remembering just a few simple things will make things so much easier in life....
One of the TOP 10 is...
If you use the last of "whatever" in a container- throw the EMPTY container away in the trash bin, be it the coffee creamer, peanut-butter, milk, O.J., or plastic bag from the loaf of bread. Do NOT-under ANY circumstances- put the EMPTY CONTAINER BACK IN THE CABINET OR FRIDGE if it is EMPTY!!!!!!
It is not a hard thing to do- nor is it more than common courtesy to do so and you have no idea how appreciated it will be to the person who goes to get something and finds NO container instead of a container containing NOTHING!!!!
It may seem like a small insignificant thing to grouse about- but it's not if you've had a hard day and are looking forward to something and you THINK you're going to have it but then there's none left and you have to not only NOT get what you wanted but you have to throw away the empty container as well. Sometimes it just the straw that breaks the camels back and all you can do is sit down and cry.............
So please.........take another 10 seconds and just toss the empty container away.
More on the TOP 10 later..........Oh yes...there is MORE to come.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
All day and all night I have POURED over that manual.
My eyes are crossing I'm so exhausted and the answers are just jumbled together at this point.
I'm going to stop studying now and go to sleep for a few hours. Then when I wake I'm going to fuel my car and go take the test and hope for the best.
If I fail it and have to re-test if they schedule me to re-take it on a day I'm working- I'll take that day off.
I'll be SO glad when this day is OVER!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Well, the stupid dog did it again...ate ANOTHER pair of my shoes. AND he REALLY messed up yesterday. He chewed thru a cable to the Home Theatre system as well. Paulius has taken over his "training" and as far as I can see there hasn't been much of an improvement.....Barney seems to ignore and annoy him as much as he was ignoring and annoying me. Anyway- Paul beat his arse with the shoe he chewed up and yelled at him about the cable he chewed as well.
Well, at any rate I have exactly TWO pair of shoes left. My work shoes and my sneakers. If he chews either of those pair up he's gone- no ifs ands or Buts and no amount of excuses will keep him here. I don't make enough money to replace all the stuff he is destroying.
Anyway....on to other stuff...
I passed the pre-test that I had to re-take yesterday. Passed it with a 92% score!!
Yay!!!!. And not a MINUTE too soon- the BIG test is on Thursday afternoon at 1:30. So my next two days will consist of :
Tonight(Wed)- studying/reviewing the NEW manual I just got last week. I'll be studying it at WORK tho since tonight and Thursday night are the only nights I'm scheduled to work this week- (ain't THAT a BUMMER!!!!!)
Tomorrow morning I'll come in and sleep til about 11 and then get up and study another hour before I go in to take the Certification Test which will last until 4PM. And I fully intend o take every minute of that time to take that test because it's an open book test and if I fail it I'll have to shell out 80 bucks out of my OWN pocket to re-test. Besides- I only have to pass the certification with a 75% or better score, so as long as I've been in law-enforcement I should be able to get THAT much without the book..........don't ya think?
Anyway, if I don't re-test within 60 days I can't work at the site I work at now and will be transferred to a NON-medical site.
And dammit- I LIKE it where I am now.
Great people- Great hours-Great location-even if it IS 20 miles away from home it's still on the East-side of town and no-one really has to worry about being mugged on the way to their car(mainly because not only is it a nice neighborhood but I accompany almost everyone to their vehicles on my shift).
And then- after he test, I'll probably just go on in to work because I have to be there at 5:30P and by the time I go back home it'll be time to just turn around and go BACK on the road to work anyway. No sense wasting gas(not with it at these prices) and especially no sense in all that driving in Rush hour traffic when I'm halfway to my job at the test site.
I just wish we could get our test scores the day we TAKE the certification test like we did the PRE-test. But no- they have to be mailed off and scored and in a week or so we get notification if we passed or failed. THEN we get our certificate and our pin. Oh- and let's not forget our PAY-RAISE as well!!!!
Anyway..........that's it for today.......have a few things to do and then I'm off to the races(aka work).
Wish me LUCK- I'll need as much as I can get.
Monday, August 11, 2008
I better enjoy it tho cause I'm working some extra hours this week as well as taking my pre- certification test and the BIG certification test as well(If I pass the pre-test, that is.)!!
I'm predicting that by the time my long weekend rolls around I'll be ready to just kick back and relax and do a WHOLE lot of nothing.
Well anyway.....I came in from work this morning and re-tiled our bathroom floor. I have a couple of other projects in the works too before my in-laws visit next month, but that bathroom was at the very TOP of my to-do list!
So now it has a nautical theme with a green and white marbled tile floor.
And it looks SO much better than it did before with that UGLY off-white floor covering.
Now I KNOW white looks all nice and sleek and clean......but off white never looks quite right to me....it just looks dingy.
I should have taken a before and after pic.
Anyway.....I'm off to do some more "stuff".
Wish me luck!
Monday, August 04, 2008
A lot of physical stuff- but a lot more emotional stuff.
It's a hard line to follow- family and friends, that is.
I've felt torn between three people that I dearly love in the past week.
One has a heart of gold but kind of expects to be in control of everything when they do so.
One just has had a run of bad luck no matter what they try to do to make things better.
And one just isn't used to the drama that is my life and can't understand why I let it go on.
I've been so upset that I've started smoking again. A LOT. And I haven't done that in ages. Not in this way.
I want to talk to these people about what's going on and how torn I feel, but to do so would only cause even more drama and altho I try and act normal, it's the last thing I actually AM. I'm on the brink of a complete emotional breakdown and don't know how to get things back on track.
I'm taking my meds like I'm supposed to- but they only work so much- and to be honest I want to be able to function without having to take them for much longer. I've actually been trying to wean myself off them- taking only half of the dosage I actually should, but then something happens to trigger another panic attack or some major stress related thing happens and I'm back to regular dosage.
I need to learn to be more assertive, to be able to tell people what I want instead of letting them tell me what I should and shouldn't and am and am not going to do.
I need to learn to tell people that I Love my family and would do anything for them- even if it means putting myself out sometimes-it's what families do when they care for each other and need help.
And I need to learn to tell people that altho I appreciate their kindness and understanding and help, that doesn't give them the right to just be able to tell me how things are going to go in my life.
And I sincerely hope that things get better for the person with the long run of bad luck....I KNOW how they feel- I had one myself for many long years before finally finding the stability and normalcy I was looking for. But even so- I can still use a LOT more in my life and I hope they can find it as well.
We all have to grow up- we all have to make it on our own, but we all need others help and understanding from time to time.
But sometimes circumstances dictate what happens in my life- and in the lives of the ones I love as well.
God help us all.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Saturday, August 02, 2008
One of the subjects the guys were talking about was birthday gifts and how sometimes people will make a "gift/donation" in your name to a charitable foundation/organization.
I have a BIG problem with that idea.
First of all, I don't get a gift.
The real objection I have to that idea is that most of those things are for things like a "goat for a third world family"...or some other foreign good.
No- I would MUCH rather you call me up and ask me what charity you should make the check out to.
While I feel for the innocent children in the third world countries, I have more sympathy for the homeless and hungry here in my own country. Give to THEM instead. Make a check out to the local food pantry or actually go to the supermarket or one of the super-saver ones like Save-a-lot or Aldi or Poor Richards and BUY a load of canned goods and staples and bring it to the food pantry or the local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
Or you could find a family thru the church or school and sponsor those children for school supplies or Christmas gifts.
I also have a soft spot for Cancer Research. I have lost so many good friends and family members to that horrible disease. Nothing would please me more than helping with stamping out that horrible disease. Or ANY disease for that matter.
It kills me to see a homeless person on the street corner with a sign that says "Will work for FOOD". Knowing I'm two paychecks away from being there myself and knowing I can't help them but seeing the hopelessness and pain in their eyes. There are a lot of fakers out there that panhandle for a living instead of getting a real job, but you can tell the difference in the fakers and the truly desperate. There is a look about them...like I said, Hopelessness, Desperation, and Pain. Look in their eyes. And say a prayer for them even if you can't do anything more.
And if you give a gift like that for me- put it in memory of my son Clayton Howe and his brother Frank, who is still out there helping when he can.
They're the person who would stop and help someone stranded on the side of the road even if it made him late for work and took money out of his pocket.
They're the person who would give his own lunch to the "will work for food" person standing on the street corner.
They're the person who would give his umbrella to the person waiting in the rain for the cops to show up at an accident site.
They're the one who would stop when he saw a man hitting a woman or trying to drag her by the hair to the car.
So much can be done to help others every single day. Just look around. You'll not have to look far to find someone in need.
Friday, August 01, 2008
I got woke up BOTH days I had to work this week by a "Male-Idiot-Co-Worker" who called me at 2PM to give me a message which could have EASILY waited til I got to work to be delivered to me.
The first time I let it slide because I figured the co-worker was excited about the news. But then yesterday when it happened again, I was PISSED.
I don't like for my professional life and my personal life to cross-over. I have only 3 friends from work that I have given my home phone number to because we are very good friends(All FEMALE btw) and to be honest I wouldn't have minded a tiny BIT had THEY called me at home for a chat. I adore my friends and they know that I sleep til just before I come back in to work and they have enough respect and love for me that they don't call me when I work.
BUT- the co-worker that called me was NOT one of the friends I had given my number to. HE got it off the emergency call-list at work.
So, when I came in with the mother of all headaches from being woke up like that and on two and a half hours sleep, I calmly asked him if our boss-man had asked/told him to call me and give me those messages.
And when he said no-he just took it upon himself to call, I very calmly explained to him that if he ever called me at home again unless it was an emergency or our boss-man SPECIFICLY TOLD told him to call me and give me a message BEFORE I came to work, I would come to work, rip off his arm and beat him to death with it.
Then he wanted to ARGUE about it saying he thought I MIGHT be awake by then......and I got PISSED and told him to use his freaking brain.......It was like me calling HIM up at 2AM when he had to come in to work at 6AM and assuming he MIGHT be up at that time of night/morning just because he had been off work since 6PM!!!!
NO!!! Don't be stupid- just DON'T CALL ME AT HOME!!!!!!
I thought the receptionists were going to fall in the floor when I told him off.
I know it was EXTREMELY unprofessional to do it, but if he hadn't tried to JUSTIFY it with a stupid argument like I "MIGHT have been awake" I just couldn't help myself....My Mouth ran away with me before my brain could stop it. MIGHT does NOT allow for a phone call at that time of day when I have to work and you can easily give me the message when I get here.
He IS an idiot.
I'm hurting so bad right now ....my tummy feels like a giant is twisting it in his hands. I HATE when I'm hurting like this.
Our phone is OUT at the moment, too. I came home from work and went to my moms cardiologist with her and then the bank.....(she tried to get a loan and was turned down because she is deceased)........lol- yep the Equifax company has her listed as deceased so she had to go to the bank and straighten that out.
My mom is so funny, all day long every time I said something to her she would say "I don't have to answer that- I'm DEAD!".....hahahahahha. At least she can afford to have a sense of humor about the situation. It'll take a couple weeks to fix the problem but it should be fixed soon and she isn't worried a bit.....annoyed, yes....but not overly concerned-YET.
Anyway, then I came home from THAT and I had to stay up and awake cause the Charter repairman was scheduled to come by and check our phone modem between 1 & 6 PM....and guess what? He STILL hasn't got here yet.....at 7PM which means my phone probably won't get
looked at until Monday.
At least the "Male-Idiot-Co-Worker" won't be calling me on my days off and waking me up, eh?
Hope all you have a GREAT weekend!!!!