Well, today I was supposed to go to lunch with my Mom. We've been talking about this and planning it and trying to co-ordinate our schedules to do it for weeks.
Well, I got up this morning and made busy work for myself trying to keep the morning from dragging on like it does when you're really, really, really looking forward to something.
You know, like your birthday party, or the last day of school before Summer vacation, or Christmas Eve night when you're waiting on Santa to come so you can get up next morning and see the pretty prezzies under the tree!!!!...I mean see what he brought you.
Okay, so anyway, I waited til about 11 AM and then called her to see what time she was going to be over.....we had said around 1-ish but sometimes she runs late- or even shows up early. And as I said- I was really looking forward to us doing lunch together but when I called her- she and her boyfriend was JUST getting BREAKFAST started!
It took everything I could do to not cry when I heard that news because I knew then and there that our lunch together wasn't going to happen. For one thing she wouldn't be even CLOSE to hungry again by even two or three o' clock in the afternoon- and she had two appointments today...one at 4P and another at 6P.
Anyone that knows me knows I usually don't get upset about things that go awry, cause things happen to change plans,no one knows that better than me, but it wasn't something that just came up and changed our plans. It seemed more like a deliberate ....looking for a word....not exactly a snub, not a rejection....but something along those lines.
Am I really that inconsequential to my mom?? Cause in all honesty- that's exactly how it felt.
And it hurts.