Disciplining A Cat???????

BaaaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaha!!!!!!!!!

ROTFLMAO.....


Good one, MC Etcher!!!

Obviously you have never been allowed to reside with a feline.

There is NO WAY to discipline a cat. Nothing works.

There ARE several things you can do to show your displeasure when they are bad.

You can yell at them. The first time it will startle him and they will hunker down and stare at you like you have possibly lost your mind. He will look from you to the phone-possibly wondering if it would be worth it to call the humans who bring out the straight-jacket, since obviously you have lost your mind yelling at him like that. In the end, he will decide to give you ONE more chance since , without you there, he will have no one to feed him and change his litter.
Lucky You.
After the first time, yelling is completely ignored- or worse, he will look at you and then at the phone as if to say"I WILL call them if you continue speaking to me in this tone. It's completely unacceptable.- I can always find another insignificant being to live with me."

Another thing you can do is to spritz him with one of those water misters. The cats' reaction will be to be startled for a second, then run across the room and proceed to clean the water off himself with his tongue. After he finishes cleaning himself sufficiently, he will then immediately do whatever it was you misted him for so you will mist him again because grown cats are WAY too lazy to go all the way to his water bowl in the kitchen for when there is a human-slave who is perfectly willing to mist him with water, sitting in the same room with him.

You can also try putting him in the pet carrier as a sort of "Kitty Time-Out". He will not like being confined and will glare at you for a grand total of about 5 minutes to show HIS displeasure with YOU- then he will make the best of a bad situation and turn his back to you and lie down for a "cat nap"(normally around three hours long) If you really want to piss him off, as soon as he goes to sleep, wake him up and tell him Time-Out is over, snuggle him close and tell him you couldn't stay mad at him, he's such a "cutesy wootsey widdle kitty" and pet him enthusiastically and vigorously. Make sure to rub his fur in all directions. He will reward you with a very disturbing DEATH-GLARE for a very long time as he grooms himself("Filthy human- actually having the nerve to touch His Excellency-You will PAY!!!!")(I always imagine cats as having Stewie Griffins (Family Guy)voice when they talk). It might be a good idea to take advantage of his being occupied with his intense grooming session to make sure all your shoes are secured in a room with a door, preferably with a handle he hasn't learned to trip open yet. Ditto on anything else you actually value and want to keep.

You could kill them- but they have nine lives and once they catch on, it takes a LONG time to get all nine of them done-in, and that's usually the first time you try it.

Or- you can get a puppy.
A very cute, energetic puppy. Or even better, get two. They will position themselves to annoy the cat from front and rear flanks at every opportunity.

And then you get to be the GOOD human by rescuing the poor widdle kitty from those annoying puppies- all the while smiling gleefully while the cat is looking over your shoulder at the puppies receding from view as you walk away..................

Kittens are wonderful, cute, sweet playmates.
Grown cats are Satan's Spawn.

That said- Please don't let your cats outside tonight. Usually it's a good idea not to let them out the entire week before Halloween. There are some real sicko people out there who will do bad things to your beloved Darth Furball- especially if he is black.
They might be annoying, but they do love us(I think) and they are a great source of entertainment if we can just find humor in every situation.


Happy Halloween, All!!!!!!

The EVIL Darth Furball Strikes Again !!!!

Our CAT is now going thru Kitty Puberty. Evidently, he has decided to become a Satan-worshiping Goth version of a teenager.

He has become evil incarnate the past month. I am ready to cut his evil tail off- right behind his ears. Paulius is a bit more easy-going than I am, he only wants to send Darth to Kitty Azkaban.

Whatever works and gets him past this stage is fine with me.

Examples of his evil habits now include:
*Climbing over EVERY surface of the entire house
*Scattering his litter from his box to every surface of the house
*Sleeping in his litter box
*Ignoring his kitty food and actually trying to steal food from our plates while WE are eating
*Using his litter that he has scattered all over the bathroom floor for the purpose it was intended(mind you, we have a carpeted bathroom floor as well)
*Gathering all the stuffed animals up from all over the house and imitating the Marquise De Sade with a select one or two- (the others just are forced to watch )
*Pouncing on our legs as we walk from room to room, tripping us up at every opportunity
*Refusing to actually catch mice but insisting on having them when we catch them in a trap. He then proceeds to play circus with them(juggling them from room to room) til we can steal them back from him and dispose of them properly
*Tearing up the trash bag to get to whatever he imagines is in there
*Tipping over the trash container if he can't tear the trash bag sufficiently
*Climbing on our chests and pawing our faces(YUK- remember WHERE those nasty paws have been lately?)
*Spazzing and racing thru the entire house at top speed - literally bouncing off of and/or climbing the walls.

I want to ask myself- where did we go WRONG?

How could we have been better masters?

I tell you the answer- we couldn't have been better. Nor did we go wrong.
We were perfect to him.
We fed him
We bathed him
We cuddled him and bought him toys
We even let him sleep on the foot of our bed at night.
We even let him drink water from the aquarium-just the way he likes it- ice cold and fish-flavored

All I have to say is-
Either he straightens out soon- or he's dis-inherited.

AND I'll go get a PUPPY!! Maybe even TWO!!!!!!!!!!

And don't think I'm kidding- because I'm NOT!!!!!

Well, In THAT Case............

Here it is- my weekend off. I still haven't quite gotten used to having TWO (tee-hee) days off.

I have a list about a mile long of things I need to do- and a couple of things I WANNA do.

So which do I do?

A few I NEED to do-

Sort out closets in master bedroom
Re-organize boxes we have packed in hallway
Wash dishes-again
Clean up and clean OUT car


WANNA do-

Go fishing
Sit my butt and watch movies and snuggle with my Paulius all day.

Ahhhhh....... Well, never mind. Paulius has just informed me of his game plan for this weekend and it sounds WAY more wonderful than what I had in mind.

No Details, folks- but it involves viewing, extreme concentration, and patience.

Gotta run now....Have a GREAT weekend!!

I am SOOOO Sick of it- WHEN does it ever END????

I heard the damndest thing on the radio coming home today from work.

A couple of banks in Britain are banning giving out piggy banks for savings for kids because- get this- it MIGHT offend Muslims. Not WILL- or DOES- but it MIGHT.

I swear- WHY do we have to be so damn PC all the time now?

I am sick to the eye teeth of it.

Let me tell you all what I refuse to do.
I refuse to be PC anymore.

I will not give up my piggy bank and I will give every baby born into the family one to save their pennies.

I will not give up birth-control(not that it's a factor right now) because I might offend a Catholic if I forget to take it at home and have to bring it out in a public place when I remember.

I will not give up my Christmas tree because it might offend a Jewish person who lives down the street if it's lit up when they pass by, neither will I give up my menorah because it might offend the Christians if they see it in my window during Hanukkah.

I will not give up going to church on Saturday because it might offend the Christians down the street who believe the Sabbath is on Sunday- Also, I will not give up going to church on Sunday because it might offend the Seventh Day Adventists who believe the Sabbath is on Saturday.

I will not give up wearing pants or jeans because there are people out there who believe that women shouldn't wear them and might be offended.

I will not give up eating meat just because the vegetarians might be offended.

I will not give up eating McDonalds burgers because the Hindu's might be offended.

I will not give up vegetables just because the Cannibals in the deepest darkest jungles might be offended.

I will not give up eating Chocolate just because there are diabetics who might take offense.

I will not stop smoking just because there are non-smokers who might be offended, neither will I smoke just because there might be some smokers who might be offended if I don't join them.

I refuse to give up my foreign car that is really good on fuel consumption just because there are some American auto-makers who might be offended.

I will not learn a second language just because someone from another country might be offended that I don't speak theirs. Hell, if I learned all the languages of all the people that don't know English but live in my area- I would spend all the rest of my time in life learning 87 more languages than I know now.
Hell-I'M OFFENDED THAT THEY MOVE HERE AND DON'T BOTHER TO LEARN MY LANGUAGE- DOES ANYONE CARE THAT I'M OFFENDED?
I don't think so- after all-
I'm just an AMERICAN ENGLISH SPEAKING FEMALE- I'm not an IMPORTANT MINORITY- am I?




Why do we have to ban or stop all these things just because they might offend someone else?

It's so freaking stupid. If I could get broadband-(or electricity, for that matter)-on a deserted island somewhere I would move there and tell everyone to KISS MY POLITICALLY INCORRECT ASS!!

I Want Some MORE Of That!!

I swear, this was a wonderful weekend.

Paulius and I actually got some yard-work done- lots and lots of mulching in front of the house. My oldest son, Frank, helped a lot, too.

Paulius and I stayed up late, and then made breakfast together and ate it in the kitchen.

When we first got married, we did that every day but the past few months instead of coming straight home from work I would go to the hospital to be with Daddy, so we kinda got out of the habit.

It is absolutely our favorite time to talk with each other and we really have missed it.
Not much is better than lingering and chatting over a breakfast of toast and eggs and bacon, with an over-sized cup of coffee. Lots of cream- not quite so much sugar.

After breakfast we mulched the yard- actually got out and did a bit of manual labor- something I usually try and avoid whenever possible. Wore old comfortable clothes and comfy sneakers. Worked with man-tools like a spade and rake and shovels and scoops wearing leather work gloves.

Arrrrr..arrrrr..arrrr....Tim Allen had nothing on me this weekend!

I don't know about you guys- but I have to be in a certain mood to get out in the elements and get dirty and tired. Not to mention sweaty. Sweaty I usually reserve for other- more fun, shall we say, activities.

It was really nice being out in the fresh COOL air and sunshine for a change. And the yard does look good if I say so myself!

I don't think we had the TV or the Computer on for more than an hour or so this weekend- until the cable-guy came to install the broadband.

Even then, my sweet, darling hubby set it to downloading a couple things and left it to it while he spent some more quality and quantity time with me. Am I not truly blessed or WHAT?
And no sarcasm is intended with that statement either, in case you're wondering.

I baked some made from scratch Chocolate Chip Cookies(and were they good!) and made a meatloaf and mashed potatoes -(real peeled and boiled and mashed- not imitation instant) -dinner. Then my DIL came over and since her and my son didn't have their 5 year old for the night, Marie(DIL- who is expecting ) and I went to Subway and got two foot-long Philly Cheese-steak sandwiches (she was having a craving and since I want a Granddaughter, I am trying to bribe her with anything she is craving) and brought them back and we had a midnight picnic together with our hubbies!!


Paulius and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary this weekend- no not wedding anniversary- it was the anniversary of the first e-mail we sent to each other!!!!

Anyway, It really WAS a wonderful weekend.

I can't wait for the next one!

Excitement!!!!

Today , I have been informed, is a RED letter day.

I can't remember the last time I got so excited about something.

Oh- yes, I can- it was when I saw Paulius at the airport in Atlanta when he came back after us being separated for over two years.

I was actually giddy with excitement. I was nervous, and happy, and had butterflies the size of vultures in my tummy- I couldn't sit still- was pacing and almost jumping for joy-now I know what THAT phrase means.

Well, that's EXACTLY how excited my hubby was today when the broadband was finally installed and connected. I swear- I was afraid he was gonna pee himself he was so happy!

Paulius and I were talking about that yesterday. He compared his computer stuff and gaming to shoe buying. I told him that I wasn't into shoe shopping, but if he replaced it with anything Christmas- I understood totally.

His games are my ornaments. His broadband is my gifts under the tree. His computer is my Christmas tree.

I get it now.

I just wish I could have that type excitement every day.

I Love Autumn.

It's so nice out today.

Time to do a bit of yard-work. Spread a bit of mulch- cut the last bit of grass for the year....maybe go down and trim the grass around the pond.

Not too hot to do it- not too cool to do it....Like the baby bears stuff- It's JUST right!!

What I really wanna do is stay in bed and cuddle with Paulius all day, but duty calls. Must.... be.... a............. responsible............. adult.........


God- I wish I had such great wealth that I could hire someone to do all these mundane things and i could just waste away the day......every day.

I suppose I would soon become bored with that tho....It would take a few months- but then I would be looking for something of a challenge.

Maybe Paulius and I could live in a different country for 3 months at a time- then move to the next one.

A different home in a different country for every season. That would be nice!!!

Where would I want to be each season?

Amsterdam in the Spring
St. Thomas in the Summer
New England in the Autumn
North Pole in the Winter. ( I would get first choice of the toys for Christmas because we would be Santa's neighbor- therefore his and Mrs. Claus' best Friends).

Did I ever tell y'all that when I was 6 I was adamant that I was going to marry Santa when I grew up?
Childhood Fantasies.