Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch....(& I Want To Be A Cat)

So yesterday, to get my mind off my problems and my pity-party (which I'm still not over and probably won't be for a while, just in case you're wondering, nothing's changed), I went up to my moms to see if she had received the utilities bill.
She hadn't.
She was out in her yard, mulching around her trees. The woman will be 74 this year and she is still out doing her own mulching.
I made her sit down while I mulched the remaining tress for her(See?.... Good daughter-trying) and we had a little chat.
She mentioned she wanted to color her hair- God knows why- she has the most gorgeous silver hair ...if MINE were that color I'd let it go it's natural color in a second......but then she asked me if I would color it for her. I really didn't want to- but seeing how she's 74, and I know when my, ahem, moonlight blond starts showing at my temples I run out and buy a box to even it up, I thought.........
Hmmm....let's see....Mulch...or color mom's hair.
Hard decision....NOT!!! Let me remind you that I'm on B/P meds and if I'm out in the sun for more than a few minutes I burn to a crisp.
So........ off to the pharmacy we went to get her hair-coloring.
Well, we came back, I put the solution on, and then we had to wait for 35 minutes. So what did we do while we were waiting, you ask???? I'll tell you.
Mom sat in a chair and NAPPED. Mom likes to nap. So do I, to be honest....but I uncovered her clothes horse...I mean, treadmill..... and walked at a brisk 4 miles per hour for 30 minutes. I could have been sitting on my arse, watching a show and relaxing, but I CHOSE to walk.


I only wish I had had my new Nikes on and been able to record my walk and listen to my music while mom NAPPED.

And speaking of naps.....That damn little cat of ours, Lucy, is driving me insane with her caterwauling. Jebus Crisp, if Paul so much as walks to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee or tea, she wakes up from HER nap and starts stumbling around the room with her warbly little kitty voice yowling "OH NOOOOOOO!!! OH NOOOOOO!!" or "HELLOOOOOOO??????...HELLOOOOOOOOOOO?" til she finds him or he comes back into the room.

Even when we're in bed, she will wander around in the house with that pitiful little voice til either a)he gets up and brings her in the bedroom and dumps her on the bed beside him- or b)she wanders in and herself and hears his iPod and jumps up on the bed beside him herself. She has to be physically touching him for her MUTE button to kick in. Meanwhile, I can get NO sleep for her yowling.
Funny thing, last week, I had HAD it after two solid hours of her yowling like that so I got up, grabbed her nappy little arse, and took her to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and stuck her under it for about two seconds.(She wouldn't let Paul catch her and she refused to come into the bedroom that day/night for some reason- maybe she just wasn't in the mood to sleep but she still wanted him in the room with her.)Stupid cat.
Well, when I dropped her on the rug, she shook off the water and ran into the living room.....and we had blessed peace and quiet for about three whole hours.
Thought that was something that might possibly work again at a later date -if the need arose.
But then, later that night, Paul called me at work and told me that maybe that hadn't been such a good idea after all. Seems he had put a container of water out on the table so he could thaw some chicken, but he had went out to light the grill before he put the chicken in it. When he came back in to put the chicken in the water to thaw- he found Lucy, sitting in the water on the table enjoying a bit of a soak.

In my NEXT life- I'm coming back as a freaking house-cat. Naps, soaks, manicures, being petted and coddled, an occasional smack on the butt when they're bad.....and did I mention naps?
Lots of naps.
Now, that's the life.

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