Monday, September 26, 2005

A Little Smile & A Thank You..........

Thank you all so much for all the kind thoughts and prayers during this time of grief for me and my family.

I have-believe it or not- two stories (which I will combine)from the funeral that will hopefully bring a smile to you -as they did to us.

We had the funeral service- which was beautiful- and every one was understandably upset. The music did not help with easing the pain- the song selection was as follows...Amazing Grace,Long Black Train,Imagine...then the sermon, then two more songs.....Wind Beneath My Wings, and Angel by Sara McLaughlin.
After the sermon and music we were off to the cemetary. We were still upset- taking turns crying and trying to comfort each other when we weren't the one crying. Well, when we got to the cemetary the first family car veered off the road that led directly to the site and went towards the office. We waited about 10 minutes for them to finally come from the office. We laughed and said we bet someone had to go potty and how Daddy would have hated that. We told our Aunts who were with us that when we went on a trip with Daddy- as soon as the urge hit you had better say something, because it would be at least a hundred miles MORE before Daddy would actually pull over for us to go. NO JOKE.
Then we had the service at the gravesite- they had three Navy personel there- two to present the flag to Mom, and one to play Taps- which was hauntingly beautiful.
Then we all got back in the family cars and began the ride home. Suddenly the lead car pulled into a convenience store and two of the members in it rushed into the store. I commented that moms blood sugar must have dropped and they were getting her something to try and raise it til we got home(Mom is diabetic and that was exactly what had happened we learned later). But sitting in the parking lot I suddenly had a picture of Jeff Foxworthy in front of an audience saying......"You might be a redneck.... if you pull into the convenience store in the family car for a Pepsi and a candy-bar after a funeral".......

And we all laughed. And it felt good. And I think if Daddy was there he would have laughed at BOTH those things.

And now comes the hard part- Learning to live without him.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

I remember

I Remember…

…I remember when my Dad would let me ‘ride’ on the steering wheel of the old truck we had when I was about 1 ½

…I remember when I thought the best thing ever was standing next to my Dad with my arm around his neck as he spun his tires in the sand driveway.

…I remember my Dad taking us to the Shell station on White Horse road and getting to choose any candy we wanted from the HUGE glass display case.

…I remember my Dad taking us camping in the Pisgah Forest in North Carolina and teaching me to fly-fish even though I was only 7 and a girl.

….I remember making my Dad fudge and him smiling as he took it and asking “And what do you want, now?” I also remember him taking the fudge to his office and locking it in his filing cabinet so he didn’t have to share and could enjoy it in peace and quiet.

…I remember my Dad teaching me to drive a manual transmission car. I remember him telling me that when you slow down to make a turn, you shift down. I remember trashing a transmission (trying to get home before curfew) when I shifted down to first gear and popped the clutch going 40mph because Dad assumed I was smart enough to realize you had to be going slow to do that. I also remember him not laughing at me while we towed the car home at 4am

…I remember Dad walking me down the aisle when I got married. He was trembling more than I was. Now I know why.

…I remember Dad helping me rebuild my car when it was totaled a few years back. I had just put close to $2000 in a motor for it the week before and couldn’t afford to buy a new one, even with the coverage from insurance.

…I remember Dad handing me his hanky when I cried from everything from breakups to bad grades to skinned knees.

…I remember Dad always seemed larger than life - He was always my Hero.

My Hero is gone.

Today my Dad passed away, losing an eight year battle with Cancer.

I will miss him dearly.

Friday, September 23, 2005


Just heard a bit of good news ........
My oldest son, Frank and his wife Marie are expecting again. Devon, their only child is almost five now.

I have already put in my order for a GRANDAUGHTER this time.


Just Call Me MASTER.


I don't know why I do it.

I changed long distance companies today. I'm not saying from which to which-But the one that called made me an offer I couldn't refuse this time. Now all that remains to be seen is if they hold up their end of the bargain. If not- then I will go back to the old company because I KNOW within a months time THEY will be calling me back saying WHY did you change?

And of course, me being me, I will tell them and then they will try and one-up the other company. And me being me- I will get the best deal I can and if it out-weighs the other company in service AND value- I will switch back.

The phone companies LOVE Paulius and me. When he was in England, my phone bills were monsterous-(400-600 a month)! I even got a Christmas card from the phone company. And I know not everyone got one of those because everyone in the neighborhood has the same company and NONE of them got one from the company.

That DID worry me a bit- but then no one else knew how much I was spending on my service either.

I know it's annoying- but it keeps the companies on their toes. And keeps my bills down because eveytime I switch I get a vital service free for at least a couple months. I have become a Master Negotiator.

So if we dissapear for a few days- assume that The new service has screwed the pooch and we will be back on as soon as I can contact the OLD company to restore my faith in them. Preferably with a couple months free service.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Anyone Have A Spare Chippendales Calendar?

Someone should give Mother Nature a calendar.

I mean, here it is the first day of Autumn- the end of September.......shouldn't we be having some color in the trees now? Shouldn't we be able to open the windows and doors in the evening without having to worry about inducing a heat stroke by doing so? Shouldn't we be NOT having to worry about being eaten alive by those pesky insects that summer gives such abundant life to?

I always SO look forward to Autumn every year. No Air conditioning needed- nor heat needed yet. Lower electric bills for a couple of months before the Holiday Season sets in. Just nice cool days and nice crisp nights just made for snuggling or curling up on the couch with a good book and a cup of hot coffe or tea.

But the past few years have seen a nasty trend of not really having a "transition" season. Nope- Summer goes directly into winter 90 degrees one day and 40 degrees the cool colorful days with leaf raking or crisp nights with a bonfire to sit around and tell ghost stories......... And the same at the end of spring with soft breezes and delicate greenery slowly blooming...Just cold one day- HOT the next.

No wonder we all stay so sick and funky feeling all the time. I can't breathe when it's hot. And I am awfully ill-tempered when it's all hot and sticky, too.

Is it wrong I have dreams of enjoying the cool weather a blizzard would bring?
We're all sitting in deck chairs around a huge snowman in the town square drinking huge mugs of coffee and tea and fanning ourselves while we talk about how wonderful it is to have a break from the heat.

I need a break. I hope cool weather comes soon.

To all the gamers out there.....Happy WINTEREENMAS!! It begins today!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005



Paulius says I talk too much. I didn't think so.
Right now I might talk more than usual- but that's only because I'm All Jacked Up on cold medicine because i have a horrible head cold I picked up at work last week.

(Working at the hospital does have it's MAJOR drawbacks. I can't think of a better place for breeding germs. And all those little boogers seem to gravitate towards me.
You would think that being in dispatch- in the dungeon away from everyone- I would be relatively safe from most of those germs- NOT. You see- all the other officers are in the rest of the hospital and are breathing the air and touching all manner of things and then they come down and touch the doorknobs and the faucett handles and pens and the radios and such. Also we get paperwork from the nursing co-ordinators and they are up on the floors handling all the germy things as well. As are the police officers who come down and hand us their paperwork to initial. And housekeeping who supposedly come down to "clean".

Whatever.... if they SAY so..........

Anyway- I wanted Paulius to do me a favor tonight- I didn't wanna do it because mainly I am off work tonight and not feeling well and couldn't be bothered- and he told me that he would GLADLY do the favor for me if I promised to not say a word for 10 whole minutes.
"No problem" I said.

Turns out it was a bigger problem than I thought it would be. I actually had to put my finger over my lips because I almost talked several times during the first MINUTE!

I got thinking about it- I talk for a living. I talk for pleasure. I talk just to be annoying.
I can seriously talk nonstop for hours. About nothing- Or about any subject I'm seriously interested in- Like Christmas/Holiday Decorating. Or re-arranging furniture. Or cooking.

But I do have my quiet times too. I can sit for hours and read quietly- or listen to music- or watch TV- altho that still sort of involves talking- them not me(altho I DO sometimes comment to the characters if they are doing or saying something I am in agreement or disagreement about).
I only have a problem with talking if there is someone in the room I like and want to interact with. And Paulius is one person I will never get tired of interacting with. For literally YEARS we could only e-mail, regular mail- or talk on the phone for an hour a day- if that- and I think he is one of the most interesting people I have ever met.
So, in essence, what I'm saying is ..........

It's HIS fault I talk so much.




Friday, September 16, 2005

Decisions- decisions.............

Fade to .....Sunny sitting on floor of store holding two cards in her hands. Confused but analytical look on her face as she looks from one to the other- and back again.
Store manager walking to Sunny and putting hand on her shoulder."Ma'm?- The store is closing now- I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. "
Sunny looks confused as she stands and puts the cards back on the rack.
"I can come back tommorrow?" She asks the manager as he leads her to the door?
"Yes, you can!" the manager replies as he reaches to hold the door open for her. "We open at 9AM- Have a good night, now."
Sunny stands a moment, turns and starts to walk away. Then she stops suddenly and hurries back to the door pulling on it and rattling the bells attatched to the inside.
"WAIT!" she cries. "What if someone buys those cards before I get back? I'll have to find other cards. I want THOSE cards!"
The manager , horrified, realizes she is right. He returns hurriedly to the rack, picks up the cards, takes a five from his pocket and drops it in the register.
Then he walks to the door as slides them thru the crack at the bottom.
"Here you go ma'm- Have a nice night."
He turns and walks away leaving Sunny standing in the glow of the streetlight to ponder which stamps would best suit the cards she held in her hands.


Thursday, September 15, 2005

Okay- Okay!!!! Here's the Answer!!

Due to the deluge of mail and responses by all the people who read my blog and ask the question...
"How did you get back in the damn building? You left us hanging!"
(Hehehehehe- My evil Plan WORKED! Always leave them wanting more- or at least wondering what the hell I was on about!!)

I will tell you.

I patiently waited outside the front entrance for the remaining time I had there so if anyone happened to come by I looked as tho thats where I was supposed to be and doing what I WAS supposed to be doing-which I WAS- just from outside instead of inside. Then at quitting time I radioed on the two-way for the mobile officer to be 10-5(enroute) to my 10-20(location) for a 10-14(escort) back to base.

No one was the wiser.
Until now.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Ask- And Ye SHALL Recieve.

I am now no longer Dispatching at my job!

Whooooooo Hoooooo!!

Last night I went in to work and was training the new girl for Dispatch. She's been training for a week now and has done amazingly well. Turns out we were a couple people short and the Supervisor asked me if I thought the trainee was ready to go it on her own- and if I would mind changing posts for the night. I told him actually I thought it was a great idea - I thought she was ready a couple nights ago and on the post he was putting me I could remotely monitor how she was doing and if she got stuck, it would take me less than two minutes to come to her rescue.

So I was taken out of the office and put in the field.
I cannot describe how great it was to get out of there.

I don't know about tonight tho.
Okay- Imagine going from sitting at a desk for over a year for eight hours a night, to tonight- standing for eight hours with only a thirty minute break. At least it will be cool out there.

Wanna hear MY funny story for the day?
THIS is what I get for asking you guys for funny stories.

This morning I was moved to our ISC building at 5 AM. It was about 80 degrees in there and all I had to do was to sit and LOOK at the front door and check badges as the employees came in. That was fantastic- except the employees didn't start coming in til about 6AM. Sitting in that warm enviroment was NOT easy as it sounds. Especially with the quiet surrounding me and the lack of sleep I've been getting lately.
So I got up and walked around a bit- big lobby- I can do that and still see the door. Anyway, it didn't work. Still too warm- and did you know that you actually CAN fall asleep while walking?
So I did the logical thing and walked outside where it was at least 20 degrees cooler.
That revived me- and so I began alternating- inside-outside. 10 minute intervals each.
Way to go Sunny!
(I absolutely was NOT going to be caught napping after snitching on the officer who was there earlier in the night for the same thing!)

Well, at 10 minutes of 7AM I went outside and strolled in front of the doors, greeting the employees as they came in and glancing at their badges to get a positive ID on them before they went in.(The cardreader was malfunctioning is the reason we had to be there in the first place.)At 2 minutes til 7AM I reached for the door handle to go back inside for the last hour of the shift- and THEN the damn swipe decides it's going to start working again.

Now- I know what you're thinking. Same thing I was thinking. I'm Security- no problem. I'll just swipe my card and zip back in.
Then I realize where I am. ISC- the most heavily secured building on the site. Only two people have access to this building on the night shift and I am DEFINATELY not one of them. I didn't need access to that building since I was always in the office about a half mile away.
You have to have the access # to get back in.
No problem. More employees should be in any minute and I can just(horrors) piggyback behind one of them back into the building.
Only it's Sunday morning. And all the employees that ARE coming in that morning have already arrived and gone in since it's now AFTER 7AM.

It's not very funny when you get yourself into a predicament like that when you laugh at other officers when they get themselves into situations EXACTLY like the one I found myself in.

I could have phoned the base and had them send the Mobile officer(who DOES have the code) over to let me back in, except the phone is in the inside of the building. And if you think I was going over that blasted two-way radio and call for help and have to explain my situation- ....
It WASN'T happening.

God DOES have a sense of humor.
I don't care....I'm laughing with Him right now.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Update....and a Request?

Just a quick update....

Nothing has changed here- Dad is still in a decline but fighting it every step of the way.
We have been making arrangements this week- it's going to happen-unless a bona-fide miracle happens.

I look at you guys pages as often as I can- and I have a request....
Could you guys tell me some funny stuff? I don't know about what.....what was the funniest thing you have seen or done this year, maybe? At work- at Play...on a date.....It doesn't matter!

I need to laugh for a few minutes.

Thanks a bunch!
Love yall!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Two Posts- One Day......

It has been a very strange couple of days for Paulius and myself.
The weather here is cooling down now(thank GOD).

We were at the hospital yesterday for a LONG time. My Dad is dying of Cancer for those of you who don't know. He is in his final days with us. The doctors gave him a choice yesterday morning. He has been saying how he wants to go home. The doctor told him he could certainly do that if he wanted- all they are doing right now is to try and keep him comfortable. We thought we had a while left with him. The thing is- they found two more types of VERY aggressive cancer other than the one he already haswhen they did a new battery of tests a week ago. He has declined significantly in the past three weeks.
He told the doc that he wanted to live 10 more years- and she told him it was NOT a realistic goal- he knew that LONG ago. He smiled and said he knew that- but it didn't change the fact that altho he is ready to go home to his Lord- it doesn't mean he wouldn't like to live 10 more years with his family here.
She told him that there was one last treatment that they hadn't given him,because he was so weak, but if he wanted to try it, there was the slightest possibility that it might give him a little extra time with his family before he was called home.
She also informed us all that as weak as he is there is a good chance he wouldn't make it thru the treatment because it even made much stronger people deathly ill.
My daddy made the decision to try the treatment.
I can't say all of us approved of the decision he made because it wouldn't be the truth. We want to have him with us as long as possible and the chances of him not making it thru the treatment didn't seem great enough to take the chance of him being taken from us sooner.
On the other hand- we didn't want to say anything because well,
one- it was what HE wants that counts- it's his life after all and we don't want him to lose hope and give up-
two-we didn't want him to think that we want him to die by saying we didn't want to take the chance of the treatment not working, when it might prolong his life for another few days. Yes- days is what they say MIGHT be given to us.

It was a hard thing to discuss between ourselves- we can't talk in front of daddy because we get too upset.
And that upsets him, which in turn upsets us even's a viscious cycle.

Anyway, he wanted to try it- and so they started it up yesterday afternoon. He actually came thru the first phase of it better than they expected.
He has two more phases of it today- and again tommorrow. And then we have to wait about a week to find out if it actually DID anything to help- or if it had no effect. IF he lasts that long.

And I can't understand why he GOT Cancer in the first place.
No one has lived a healthier lifestyle than my dad. he has alays been active- never been sick other than a small sniffle in the winter-not even a bad cold til this cancer came along. He never smoked- didn't drink except the odd beer on a hot summers day after mowing the lawn(all 8 acres of it)- never did drugs or ate much processed foods(an occasional Big Mac Meal maybe once every 6 months)- always had a big garden and ate lots of fresh veggies and fruits.

Daddy has always been our rock. Always there when we needed anything. Not when we WANTED anything- but needed. My dady believed in making your own way in the world- but if you needed him- he was always there to make things better and right.
Over the years I have fallen many times, and my daddy was always there to help me up and dust off my backside and dry my tears on his shoulder.

Now I sit by the hospital bed and dry my tears on his hanky and just hold his hand because so many tubes are run in his body I can't find a spot big enough to put my head to cry. Sometimes I just want to crawl up on the bed and curl up like I did when I was 5 or 10 and wrap my arms around him and beg him to please don't leave us- we're not ready. But I can't. I can't do that to him. He needs to focus on what he needs and wants to do rather than worrying about us now.

I know this has been a long post- it's not interesting and probally not what you all want to be reading. Nor am I sure I should have written it on here. But I can't sleep- and as you can see from the last post- my mood shifts every 10 minutes.

I didn't even write about what I started out to write about- namely about the nice weather we had yesterday -how cool it was even tho it was bright sunshiney and the wind blowing thru the trees made me think of angel wings beating and how I was thinking they might be there to take my daddy home and I thought to them to go away- it wasn't time yet. And how my brother told us he had been thinking about Daddys service and if we wanted anything written down and said at it we might want to start thinking on it and writing it down now because when the time came we wouldn't be able to think clearly.

I agree with him. But I don't think I can do it.

I'm sorry guys,
I'm a basketcase right now.


VooDoo and Hexes- Any Takers?

Damn Spammers.

I can put a hex on them AND throw in a bit of VooDoo to boot, if you like.
Anyone wanting me to hex'em from your sites just let me know.

Don't get me wrong- they'll still comment and spam your posts- but you will be able to take GREAT joy and happiness in the knowledge that VERY soon thereafter they will met a painful,dark and horrible accident that will allow them to SPAM NO MORE as a result.

I normally don't like to use my powers for such mundane things, but in this case the Spammers are getting totally out of control and it's the least I can do for my beloved blog-friends.

Any Takers? You have 24 hours to respond and then the curses will be unleashed on the spammers.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

A Blonde State Of Mind.

I have been catching up on my reading of the blogs today. I actually have a day off and have used very little of it to actually catch up on my rest and sleep as I was planning to do.

I read Serendipity's blog and saw where she had decided to color her hair. Go blonde. I did a similar thing back in February. Only I went RED- and cut my hair which was almost waist length at the time.

I had colored my hair red once before- more of a strawberry blonde actually- and I absolutely loved it!
I was enough of a blonde to be able to blame my ditzy moments on THAT- and enough of a redhead to be able to blame my outbursts of temper on THAT. The best of both worlds.
But alas, my hair wouldn't hold the color and after about three weeks it was completely back to it's original honey blonde.

However, this time the color took wrong and I ended up with a pinkish-burgandy streaked mess. (Maybe the fact the hubby and I were consuming spirits at the time had something to do with the way it took- or DID'T take, rather. Maybe it was the full moon. It could have been any number of things.)
After a few days it faded to a horrible pinkISH-PeachISH color. It took me a hundred and fifty dollars to have that mistake corrected.
I vowed then:
A) Never again would I color my hair anything but my natural color
B)Never would I cut my hair again, except for the occasional trim to keep it healthy.

Now by TRIM I mean no more than a half inch.
Once I went to the salon and requested a "trim" and the stupid woman took of about 6 inches. I avoided the salons until this latest disaster.

My neice is another female who has changed the color of her hair. Tasha had the most beautiful blue-black hair I have ever seen. Soft and full as a silken cloud.
And she decided to go blonde.
I CRIED when I saw her hair. It was a reddish-copper color and had the texture of straw. It took her a year to decide to grow it out. By that time she had come to her senses and decided to return it to her original color.
Thank God.

My daughter, Julie,on the other hand, has always been a honey blonde. She got a wild hair and decided to go a few shades darker- to an almost ash blonde- and when I say ASH- I mean cigarette-ash blonde. I just couldn't get used to it.Her hair color made her look older than me. Luckily she let that wash out and went back to her original color too.

I understand the need for SOME women to change from a churchmouse brown. Or from a dishwater blonde. Or from a grey templed color.
But I don't understand how someone with a beautiful color can want to change it so drasticly.

Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.
I do know that my personality changed drasticly when my hair color did. When it was the strawberry blonde I loved- I became less ditzy- and more agressive. I had more confidence to say what was on my mind. When I went the OH-SO-WRONG RED, I was absolutely a basketcase. I was unsure of myself and undecided about everything. It was as if my whole sense of self was somehow connected to my hair color.
I am by no means that vain- or shallow. I have a sense of self-confidence that would allow me to do ANYTHING I put my mind to. And I do mean ANYTHING.- But when that happened, I had to take a step back and re-examine what made me who I was.I just couldn't understand why I was acting like that.

Does our looks make that big a difference in our outlook on our lives and the control we have in our lives- not to mention our confidence level?

Anyway- I am glad Ser has made a change in her life. I sense that she will return to her natural color after a few weeks tho.
Regardless of what people say- Blondes don't nessecarily have more fun. It's a state of mind.....not hair color.

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Thank God for that!

Nothing like a forced exile from something you love doing to make you realize how much you really love doing it!

Long story short- Lightning storm- Big Flash- no phone or Computer. Phone comes back on after several days- computer still didn't work- Huge upset-Calls to Paulius' parents to explain why he hasn't been in touch for several days- Bless parents who then offer to send Christmas cash so we can add to what we haveand buy new computer. Bless them......many times over!

Bought computer, came home, Paulius set it up- posted his blog......and is now hovering (VERY IMPATIENTLY, I might add) while I finish this.
Picture 10 year old in car after an hours driving time going to theme park asking the age-old question....."Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Only in his case it's "Are you through yet?"
Are you throughh yet?"
Are you through yet?"

NO!!! But soon. I promise.


Our trip to the theme park was super fantastic, BTW!
WE had to wait thru horrendous lines(close to an hour for EVERYTHING) but it was a super day. I didn't scream the first time on ANY of the coasters(I kept my eyes closed for the entire ride- it felt like I was having one of my dreams about being able to fly- Harry potter style) and it was SOOOOOO much fun and soooooooo not scary doing it that way. The water rides were a different story tho- I screamed my head off on those.

My kids went with us- we all got sun-burned a bit- but it was fantastic anyway.

I think we will try and go together a few more times to different places....McCaddenville is one place- Gatlinburg is another- Charleston, ......I can't wait......those places will have to wait a while tho. Paulius and i are going to have a new place to live soon.

Also my dad is still in hospital.

Anyway.......I have to go now before I have to smack Paulius.

More later!!

Oh- and thanks for the suggestions for the music for the BBQ!!