This is HARD!

I told y'all I was a Type II diabetic now, along with my previous heart condition.
Well, Doc Barb put me on a 1200 Calorie a day diet.
It allowed me to have pretty much anything I want as long as I stay within the 1200 cal a day range. However, I am NOT known for my will-power when it comes to dieting.
SO, K(more about her later) and I found a diet on the Internet and copied it off and I ran IT past my doctor who said it was even better than the one she gave me and for me to GO for it and Good Luck!
(Only thing is I can't drink the citrus(grapefruit ) juice. I'm mildly allergic and get a horrible blistered mouth and a rash around my mouth and on my face and chest, but Doc says it's just that fewer calories to have to deal with and not to worry- to just take a multi-vitamin every day as well.)
So ,basically it's about the same diet but without the sugars and starches(less options equal less chance to mess up) but I have to stay strictly ON it for 12 days, then go off it for two days and eat what I want(within reason- meaning I can have a roll with dinner and a slice of toast with breakfast- and even dessert for dinner or a snack )BOTH days I'm OFF the diet. But then I have to return to the strict diet for another 12 days. Ad nauseum........

The diet is the one doctors usually give heart patients about to have bi-pass surgery and who need to lose weight relatively quickly. It pretty much cuts out all starches and sugars for the 12 days.

And THAT'S The hard part.
I didn't really realize how OFTEN I mindlessly reach for bread, or a soda, or a cookie or POTATOES!
For instance this morning(for me)(afternoon for you guys).....
On the diet for breakfast, I'm required to have 2 slices of bacon and two eggs- any style I want.
Well, I put the bacon on and it got all crispy brown and just the way I like it- and then I decided on easy over eggs. So I put them in the pan and while I was standing there I automatically went to the cabinet to make a slice of toast as well.
And caught myself.
So I walked back over to the stove and when the eggs finished I put them on the plate and then was looking around AGAIN for the toast.
I went and sat down at the table and ate a couple bites and, without thinking, got up and went to the cabinet to get a slice of bread to go with it.
Luckily I caught myself again.
So then I moved myself, and my breakfast, into the living room away from the bread storage......because face it- I'm far too smart to forget and go after bread again. (Not to mention far too lazy-it's a long walk JUST for a slice of bread. I get enough walking at my job every night.)

Or so I thought.....Once again I took a couple bites and let my mind wander off to what I should have been doing today instead of sleeping until almost time to go back in to work this evening, and I put my plate aside, got up and was halfway back to the bread storage area when I realized what I was doing, AGAIN.

Which got me thinking.....just how many times in the past two years I have been trying to lose weight have I done this? Sabotaged myself by just not THINKING about what I was doing- or eating?
Drinking sweet drinks isn't too hard to control......I drink LOADS of water anyway- and the vending machine at work NEVER has soda in it........it's the only one in the entire hospital, if you can believe that.
There IS a cafe but it shuts down for the night just as I am coming in to work(Blessing among blessings)- so that means no sweet tea- nor colas unless I bring them from home.

So I have a friend at work, K, who sometimes walks with me when I do my grand hourly tours. My diet buddy. Together we keep our minds off the temptations and I think we're doing a great job of losing a bit of weight together by being able to commiserate our failures and celebrate our successes. Much like my friends Lois and terry when we were all three on WW together. Nothing beats a good support system who will laugh and tease you out of temptations way without the scolding like your mom would do when you were little.
We've lost about 10 pounds since we started in January- but when I realized how much mindless eating I do, it makes me wonder how much MORE I could have lost just by keeping my mind on me meal instead of wandering off thinking about other things.

I'm keeping a closer handle on my eating habits from now on.
Some how, some way. This weight is NOT going to beat me.
Not THIS time. I have too much to live for.