Thursday, March 06, 2008

having a rough day

I'm having a bad afternoon.

My heart just feels like it's about to break into a thousand pieces.

My baby boy is in my thoughts and I can't work myself out of this mood.

I just keep seeing his smile, trying to remember the way his hugs felt.
All I can find in my mind tho is the accident site and his cemetary headstone.
My heart is breaking all over again.
Why did it have to be my baby that was taken?
What did I do to deserve this heartbreak/
What did HE do to deserve to leave us like this?
Nothing...
We did NOTHING to deserve this hurt.
I watch the sunsets,
I watch the sun rise......I see the days pass in a blur.

Will this hurt never end?
I need a cigarette and a drink................

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Sunny. I can't imagine the depths of your grief. Sometimes it amazes me that you can function at all.

I hope you have time to go see Kathy and CJ this weekend. Get a big dose of sweet little baby smell? Spend lots of time with Julie and her kids too. Nana needs some hugs.

My love and prayers are with you.

Hugs,
L

Anonymous said...

Thanks sis- i feel a bit more...stable today.
Good thing since I have to go to work in a while.......

Thanks for the encouragement sis...I can always count on you.
XX-OO
Sunny