Monday, March 30, 2009
So today I was talking with one of my BFFs and telling her that I had given it up. Well, I told her it had been a week and a half ago and that I was doing pretty well.
I was wondering just how many days it had been EXACTLY so I looked back on my blog here.......and crap- it's only been 4 FREAKING DAYS...5 if you get un-technichal about it because it was just after midnight when I wrote that stupid post.
Is that ALL it's been???? A FEW MEASLEY DAYS??????
OMG- this is going to be so much harder than I thought. When I gave up smoking it wasn't this hard or seem this long.
Well, I guess I'll be in good company...Paul is still not smoking and DIL Marie is banned from Sodas because it's running her BP up with the pregnancy and all. I'm not sure if daughter Julie is still trying to quit smoking still, or not.
We'll all be miserable together.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I haven't done much of anything except the things I actually WANT to do.
Like I got the urge to cook a few times......something that relaxes me......and so I did.
I wanted to see my son and his family, so I went for a visit and then gave my DIL a ride to work on the way home.
I would have gone to see my Daughter and her family as well, but it's her weekend to work plus a couple of the kids have had the flu recently so I couldn't risk getting the flu right now either.
It's rained all weekend here....now the sun is out but we seem to have winds of about 60+ miles per hour here. Should have expected it tho- March came in like a lamb and is going out like a lion.
I was thinking about the economy this weekend as well.......have any of you guys changed your routines because of it? I have to say that Paul and i have cut back on eating out more than once a week. We play more board games at home, and we watch less pay for view TV as well. He DID order me the movie "Twilight" over this weekend tho.
I adored the series of books and it was very sweet of him to watch it with me.
I really had planned on getting a bit of spring cleaning done this weekend, but I think Paul made the right call on insisting we keep it a R & R weekend this time round.
I feel so much better now.
I went last night and got Paul and me some ice-cream. Paul has been wanting strawberry ice-cream all weekend and so that's what I got for him. I'm not so much into strawberry ice cream as the real thing. I opted out for some Blue Bunny Banana Pudding Ice Cream. If you like Banana Pudding- this is DEFINITELY the ice cream for you. It has actual vanilla wafers in it and the ice cream tastes just like the bananas and vanilla pudding mixed together.
How am I doing with the chocolate abstinence? Better than i thought I would do to be honest. I have only had a problem once-........for tow years I've been looking for a chocolate cheesecake recipe that LOOKS like i want it to taste and have come up with NOTHING. Everything falls short in some way or other.
Now that I've given up(or rather am TRYING to give up) chocolate, my Better Homes and Gardens mag arrives in the mail and guess what it has in it?
Yep- you got it.
But I just looked at it, turned and showed it to Paul and snorted in disgust with one word..."Figures." He smiled, probably thinking that was going to be the end of my chocolate ban, but it wasn't. That was the end of it....I haven't had ANY chocolate in any way, shape or form since I made my decision. I can't say it will be forever, but I'm trying my best. Easter isn't the best time of year for trying to do it you know.........
WHICH brings me to a small rant I have been thinking on for the past few days.......I absolutely HATE how we have started just living from one holiday to the next...There are no down times anymore...Its Straight from New Years, to Groundhogs day to Valentines day to Prez day to St. Pattys Day, to Easter, to Mothers day to.....well, you get the picture...........First it was just from Thanksgiving straight into Christmas....but it grew and grew and grew and now I'm becoming one of those grumpy old people who gripes about it.
Anyway.......I'm off here to enjoy the rest of my weekend.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Giving Up Chocolate
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate.'
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I have come to the painful conclusion that as much as I dread it, It's time for me to say good bye to my beloved Chocolate.
For the past few months, my beloved Chocolate has made me painfully aware of my acid reflux whenever I indulge. And believe me- I have cut back SIGNIFICANTLY to try and avoid this very situation.
But alas, there comes a time when I have to put my sentimental feelings aside and just DO IT.
So, tonight, March twenty-sixth, two thousand and nine, Ive decided I'm giving up chocolate in any way, shape, or form.
I'm sure it'll be a LONG PAINFUL road, so please say prayers for Paul as he will need them with me going cold turkey. But I have to do it.
Pray for me too.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I usually choose the photos for my little projects like this- but this time I requested that he choose one of our wedding photos. Being the photo-shop god he is, he decided to do a bit of "editing" on some of the blemishes in the photo he had chosen.
He called me over to look it over before he printed it out and showed me what he had shopped.....not much to be honest..if he hadn't pointed it out to me I probably wouldn't have even been able to tell you what changes he had made to it.
I looked critically at the photo, ....I was about 50 pounds overweight from all the stress/emotional eating I had done the 2 years preceeding our wedding....and had always regretted not having been able to be my "Perfect" size for our wedding, and jokingly began telling him while he was at it he should make me skinny. He smiled, he knows how sensitive i have always been about my weight gains, and a few minutes later he called me over and had done his majik and made me ....well, not my perfect weight I had dreamed of being for our wedding....but made me slimmer in all the right places.
He had made my horrible double chin go away, slimmed up my waist a bit, and also slimmed my arms for me.
He made me about fifty pounds lighter- the exact amount of weight I had gained from the time he asked me to marry him to the time we FINALLY got to say our vows.
And altho he didn't want to do it- he printed out THAT version of our wedding photo for me to put in the frame for the gallery instead of the original one where I looked like a beached whale to myself altho there wasn't that BIG of a difference except in my disheartened eyes. In other words- he made me perfect in my eyes because I needed it.
How many men do you know that would do that for their wives?
I say it again.....I have the world's most perfect husband.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Well, now.....there's an ODD tradition in our family....I'm not exactly sure how it got started- but a long time ago I began calling everyone up on their birthday -at midnight- and singing the Happy Birthday Song to them...in a loud and horrible obnoxiously off key voice.
So, at precisely midnight, my sister Tee(The raven-haired one in the pink top) calls me and tells me to hang on for a minute. I ASSUME she's handing the phone to my Baby sister, Nina(the brown-haired one in the white top), the Birthday Girl.
Tee says, "Okay- go ahead....." and so I commence singing ...not quite as horribly off key as I normally do- but hugely bad nevertheless.....and it lasts a long two minutes the tortuous way I do it.
After it's over I hear dead silence....and then thunderous applause and a lot of hooting and hollering and hysterical laughter from a voice I darn well recognize as being Tee's.......WTH???????
Turns out, my darling DRUNKEN sisters have put me on cell-speakerphone and I have just sang Overly Obnoxious and Horribly Off-Key Happy Birthday to my Baby sister for EVERYONE in the Karaoke Bar where they have been celebrating for a few of hours already.
I couldn't be mad and had to laugh with them...it was a fast one to pull and hardly anyone has pulled off a Prank like that on me.......EVER. Well DONE Sisters!!!!
I hope they enjoyed it....because they WILL pay for it. And when they least expect it.
Bratty Little Sisters....you gotta love 'em.
Happy Birthday Nina......Hope it's a wonderful one...and I really truly mean that. I only wish I could have been there to celebrate it with you two NUTS!!!!! I love you, BOTH!!!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
I've been getting a bit of R&R these past few days and really haven't felt up to posting ....so I didn't.
Y'all MISSED me, didn't ya??
Anyway, That Cardiologist's appointment and the Cardiac Cath the next day really kind of knocked me for a loop. And I think Paul as well.
It scared the hell out of me to be honest. I mean when you get an appointment in FOUR DAYS with a cardiologist that usually takes a month or more to get an appointment to see......then at that appointment you collapse and he schedules you to have a Heart Cath the very next morning, you start to look at things with a different viewpoint.
Like.....Why the rush?????Am I going to die??????
I'm not going to get all morbid and go any further with that line of thought, but you get the gist of it.
The whole experience was kind of surreal....especially after they gave me the 2 Benadryl, the Valium, The Atavan, and then the "Twilight". I was actually kinda looking forward to being awake for the procedure like the video said I would be...watching the dye go into my veins and then spread as my heart pumped.....but after all the good drugs they gave me and the added bonus of only having slept 1 and a half hours in the 48 before the proceedure because I was so worried (and worked to try and keep my mind off the matter)........My butt was asleep before the doctor got to the procedure room to start.
And I don't remember much other than tiny bits and pieces of the next two days.
Paul has been telling me about it tho......between smiles while describing my antics.
I don't remember them- so I won't tell them. (That's my story and I'm st-sticking to it.....)
Anyway, My arteries showed no sign of blockage and my heart is strong so that's the good news.
I have a follow-up on April 1st..(What a DAY for an appointment) and we'll see what he has to say then.
I know for a fact that for mine and Pauls anniversary in May, we are definately taking a long weekend and going off somewhere quiet and fun to relax for a few days. No phones, No computers, No jobs, no bills arriving in the mail, no stupid dog annoying the crap out of us to be let out and then be let back in two minutes later and repeating every half hour, no cooking, and no housework to worry about.
Our biggest worry will be what to eat, what time to wake up, what time (or IF) we want to go to bed at night and if we want to take a dip in the jaccuzi.
And THAT sounds like a little slice of HEAVEN to me.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
We've just got back from the hospital. Sunny's heart cath procedure went off without any complications and the good news is that the doc said her heart was perfectly healthy and strong.
Anyway, sorry for updating you all through her blog, but she's asleep, I'm exhausted and I figured this was the easiest way to let everyone know.
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10.. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
If it's minor- they'll give me some meds- if it's a bit worse, it'll be some sort of angioplasty or worse-case scenerio- bypass surgery which I do NOT expect.....I have some problems but I doubt they are that bad.
I'll be at the hospital for most of the day tomorrow- and recuperating the following day.
I've decided that March is a bad luck month for me- therefore I won't be DOING the month of March anymore.
I'll update after I get home tomorrow.....maybe the morning after if I feel too out of it when I get home.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sure- I smile and laugh and try not to think about how crappy I feel now....I try and ignore the tightness in my chest- and my stupid heartbeat that races like a freaking thoroughbred horse sometimes and the absolute total exhaustion I feel. I force myself to go on about my daily life as always. I don't have time to be sick. I have a job, and housework to do, and bills to pay, and a family and wonderful husband who I want to spend time with and do things with.
I'm not going to stop living just because I'm having health problems..... if anything- it makes me think about my life being probably half over- if not a bit more than- and all the things I have left to do on my "Bucket List". I can't just give up and become an invalid, can I??? No- I certainly can't. And I won't.
What I will try to do- and am doing more of- is to take it a bit easier, not stressing so much about all the things I can do nothing about...... and letting things work themselves out more, rather than trying to be Super Mom, or Wonder Woman or Mother Theresa and fixing all the Worlds Woes.
I've realized that I'm only one person and I just can't do it all- altho nothing would make me happier than if that were possible.
I'm only me....Not the Goddess I claim to be to any & all who will listen.
I wish it were different- but it's not.
I'm only me...Plain old ordinary Sunny, Vada, Sissy and Mama. Just me.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Well, this morning I was awakened by two phone calls.
One from the head of security at the hospital campus where I work asking how I was doing- and the other from my immediate supervisor informing me that I would need a release form from my family physician before I could come back to work tomorrow.
If I hadn't been so out of it from the medication they had given me at the hospital Sunday when I was released, I probably could have gotten the ER doc to sign me off then to return to work tomorrow- but I didn't and so that opportunity has passed me by.
Anyway, as soon as I heard that bit of news- I called them to confirm I would absolutely be required to have that release before being allowed to return to my job- and after being assured that yes- it was standard procedure and especially since I was transported by EMS when I was ON the job, it was definitely required because of liability reasons.
*Sigh..........*.......so despite my resolution to never return to my regular physician after that last debacle- I shall be returning for that visit this afternoon at 2PM. I tried to get one of the other doctors, but they were all booked up so I'm stuck with her again.
I'll just try and bite my tongue and get that release form.
Where is Doctor Who when I need him???????
Doc visit went well...B/P still 160/100 and doc is sending me to Cardiologist-BUT I'm clear to return to work tommorrow.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Well, last night wasn't a particularly outstanding one.
After that lovely ride to work I blogged about last night from the job....my blood pressure suddenly jumped up to 175/122 with a heart rate of 120. I was dizzy, alternating from sweating to freezing, and queasy.
The Nursing Administrator called my work supervisor after taking my B/P and advised him that I needed to go home, I called my brother to ask him to come pick me up, and while I was waiting for them to arrive, the on-call Hospitalist came and talked to me about my symptoms.
I asked my friend Karen to walk with me down to the lobby to wait on them to arrive, but after walking about 25 feet -for no particular reason- my world suddenly went dark and spinney.
At that point, they called EMS to come pick me up and EMS came and took me to the ER(our hospital is an elective surgery hospital only) and I remained in the ER until about 8 AM this morning when my B/P finally stabilized and they let me go home.
And I've been asleep for the rest of today til now. When I got up I took off my bandages and saw I'm covered in little bruises from all the sticks where they tried to find veins to put the IVs in and the veins kept blowing out. UGH. One bruise is huge- about half again as big as a silver dollar and it hurts like the dickens.
Luckily, I do feel somewhat better now- still shaky but not spinney, thank goodness. My boss has my shift covered tonight at work and then I have the next two off and so I have three days to rest and recover.
Sigh..............I wish we had PTO to accrue ......just when we're recovering from the last bout of medical debt- this happens and we're back to square one with more medical bills coming plus the added bonus of me having two days off work with no pay. Sigh.......
On the other hand, I'm just VERY happy to be alive today.
My thanks to everyone who helped me and called or came to the hospital to check on or be with me.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Man....ever had one of those days when you just did NOT wanna go to work?
Today I had one of those days. I slept an hour and then went to do some errands. By the time I got back home the weather was all sunshiny and warm(not hot) and just SO glorious I didn't want to waste it and go to sleep. But I did the responsible thing and went to bed. When I woke up, the sun was still shining, the birds were singing, the air smelled GLORIOUSLY clean and fresh and then I REALLY didn't want to go into work.
At that moment I wanted more than ANYTHING to just be able to stay home and just sit in the sunshine and fresh air and enjoy the rest of the day with my husband.
But duty called...so I dressed and started off to work.
I rode along with the windows down, my hair blowing in the breeze as I tooled down the highway with the radio blasting at full volume- Fun tunes that get the blood pumping and make you wanna get up and dance...or ride down the highway til you run out of road.
Well, as if that wasn't bad enough....About halfway to work I was joined on the highway by a group of about 25 bikers. And for the rest of the ride to work I rode along with them - in my mind on my own bike just headed out to no particular destination- just out able to enjoy my freedom and the wonderful weather. The heady smell of bike exhaust and leather was absolutely intoxicating and brought back fond memories of the distant past and my bikes.
All too soon, my exit ramp loomed and I left my daydreams behind and with a great sigh of reluctance returned to the reality of life.
Sometimes Life Just SUX.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
A couple of my girlfriends have recently become single again. They've begun dating and they're almost totally clueless about how to flirt with their new boyfriends....or potentially datable men.
I was actually speechless that these girls(who are younger than I am, btw) needed suggestions on how to flirt. Not only how to flirt- but how much was too much to be considered acceptable and how much was too little to be effective.
Tossing their hair, gazing into his eyes, tossing a mischievous smile over their shoulder, leaning towards their object of affection when they talk to him.......it was amazing the suggestions I gave them that they just didn't think about themselves.
And the questions about the suggestions I gave them(above) these girls asked about.
How far leaning is too far? Is touching him when I lean towards him too much? When we go out to eat- should I sit across from him or beside him? Should I call/text him or should I let him call/text me? And when I do, do I let him wait awhile or do I answer back immediately?..........The questions went on and on.
I supposed I shouldn't be surprised. In this day and age of Hoochie Outfits that leave no QUESTION as to what a girls thoughts and intentions are, women who have been in a relationship for a few years might not know where to go with flirting nowadays. Especially when they don't want to dress like strippers- and don't get me wrong....there is nothing wrong with strippers- they do what they have to do to pay the bills in this day and age...but believe it or not- lots of the strippers don't always dress like they're ON stage when they're OFF the stage. Especially if they want to be in another career later down the road. They still know how to act like a lady if the need arises..... unless they're just out and out whores.
And you can tell them apart. Indeed you can.
Anyway, back to my beginning thoughts....
Flirting doesn't have to lead to anything else. It doesn't have to go any further than a toss of the hair, or a quick glimpse and a smile as you walk away. It hurts no one unless it's done on a more than regular basis and goes over the top or leads to something more than that look or smile.
Flirting IS fast becoming a lost art. Maybe I should write a book.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Bella comes to mind for the Toyota. Don't MOST people have nicknames for their cars? I always have.)
Anyway, we started out going to buy a lottery ticket in a little town about an hour away....and on the way there, we saw a sign that said "Clayton-27 miles". That's in Georgia, in case you're wondering.
So we decided to go there instead. And when we got there- I erroneously thought we were about halfway to Gatlinburg, Tennessee- one of my favorite places ever. (Hey- I haven't been there in over 12 years!!! How was I to remember exactly how far it was....???) I only remembered it was a beautiful drive up there so Paul programed it into the GPS and off we went.
I got thinking about it tho after a few minutes, and thought, "We should go here for our anniversary instead...it's not the type place you want to drive to and then just ride thru ." So I voiced that opinion to Paul and suggested that we go to Pigeon Forge instead. That way we were in a state he hadn't visited yet, but we would save Gatlinburg for our trip when we were more prepared for it. After all- Buddy was home inside and we had no one to go let him out, besides the fact that we're on a budget that definately didn't include an overnight stay in a hotel overnight.....so Paul agreed that was a great idea and he re-programmed the GPS for Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
So off we go, enjoying all the lovely scenery as we rode further and further into the Great Smokies Parkway. And there were some spectacular sights to be seen. The mist in the valleys and hollows of the mountains looked almost otherwordly and we lamented we hadn't thought to bring the camera.
Well, it didn't occur to either of us, so distracted were we with the views, that we were heading straight up INTO that beautiful "mist" in the mountains....until we ran into the fogbank on a road that didn't allow for room to turn around and head back the way we came.
I have never been so happy as I was that night about buying anyone a gift as I was with having bought Paul that GPS for his birthday.
I couldn't see ten feet in front of me and so Paul acted as my co-pilot by watching the GPS and giving me instructions on the direction of the upcoming curves and turns. We went about 10 miles an hour for about an hour and a half or two hours in that deadly fog....catching the occasiona terrifying glimpses of the ice covered granite cliffs beside us as we drove along in the fog, in the dark, in the drizzle that towards the end became the occasion snowflake....
But Finally we came out of the fogbank. Just like THAT we were in it one second- and out of it the next. We could see a signal light about a thousand yards ahead and as we drove closer, my mind registared exactly WHERE we were.
Sure enough, I pulled up to the light and stopped and looked to the right. And I began laughing. Poor Paul thought I had finally snapped. I just pointed to the right and when he looked over he saw the reason for my laughter.........The GPS was taking us to Pigeon Forge, alright.....via GATLINBURG.
Yep, we were in Gatlinburg Proper, so we drove thru slowly, letting us get a glimpse of all the fun things we could be doing if we were staying.
And then, regrettably, we drove on thru to Pigeon Forge where we stopped, re-fueled, and ate dinner at Shoneys.
Oh My Gosh- I MISS having a Shoneys in South Carloina.
Anyway, after a wonderful dinner and bit of a stretch, we got back in the car and traveled thru P.F. and plotted a few stops we want to make when we go back in May for our Fifth Anniversary.
(I can't believe we have been married for FIVE years already!! My how time flies when you're having a wonderful married life!!!!!!)
And the drive home after we left P.F. was joyously uneventful. And after all was said and done- we spent about $20 TOTAL on fuel for the car and about the same for dinner. Not bad for a wonderful day/night of spontanious fun and relaxation, because even tho we ran into that fogbank, I was more relaxed than I have been in the past five years...since our honeymoon.
But, like Paul, I wonder....why is it every time we do something spontanious we almost die?
We FINALLY got a few inches of JUST snow here on Sunday. Yay!!
It was pretty and didn't make too much of a mess. I would be over the moon if we could get one like that late Christmas Eve night or early Christmas Day.
Due to recent events with a few of my girlfriends, I have begun to wonder.....is flirting a lost art???? I'll think on that one and go into that more later.....but for now- it's time for me to dress and go to work.
I wanna post about our latest trip- but it's too cold to post more than 5 sentences.
Maybe this afternoon after it warms up a bit....right now- it's 24 degrees....inside.
(Okay- outside- but it feels only marginally warmer inside to me after parking the car at my brothers house and trekking home from there....alone....in the dark.....)
Do I sound pitiful enough?
Sorry.......that's my five sentences.