Things My Husband Doesn’t Understand About Me.

Okay, so there are a few things my hubby doesn’t understand about me.

Okay, so I LOVE LOVE LOVE playing GTA. Hubby doesn’t understand why tho. I never really like stealing and driving the cars. I like to walk/run around the city annoying the people there... (Much like in REAL life). I like to run up to people and push them and when they inevitably yell something out- I turn around and go back and pick a fight with them. I also like to go round the underground areas and beat up the hobos. I like to do stuff to provoke the police on there too. I could walk around for hours playing the game like that and not rack up a single point actually playing the game like it should be- I mean like it was DESIGNED to be played. I don’t really care about the actual game as it was designed to be played- it’s pushing the limits of society and seeing the reactions that have been designed into the game that make me happiest. I suppose I also have a lot of pent-up frustration to take out and that game is a great place to do it. It’s also cheaper than buying a lot of ammo for my GLOCK- not to mention quieter as well.

I also love playing games like Lazer tag. Now, hubby likes to play it as well, but I don’t so much PLAY it, as make it a reality WHILE I’m playing it. I may be a girl who likes to wear heels and make-up and look hot for her man- but I am not the least bit put off by donning a pair of BLACK cargo pants and turtleneck with jungle boots and rolling around in the mud crawling around under the porch or in ditches or climbing up in the branches of the trees to be hidden from the other players and have the advantage of the element of surprise on my side. I get SERIOUS about my Lazer tag. That’s probably why I don’t wanna get into the much pricier game of Paintballing. I also don’t like the bruises the damn paintballs make when they hit me.

I’m starting to get into some of his games now. He introduced me to “MUNCHKIN” last year. Loved it- but it’s more a game designed for more than two people. Last week he introduced me to MAGIC-the card game. To me it’s just a more advanced game of MUNCHKIN. I know he’s hoping to be able to introduce me into D&D in the next few months. And I’m slowly figuring out the mechanics and the reasoning of it all. How it intertwines.

I love all sorts of board games already. I love Chess-unlike most girls. I like games that make me think and challenge me. My papa taught me to play poker when I was only 5 years old. And I was lucky enough to be the only girl in the entire family (as far as I have heard, anyway…no one else brags about it if they were allowed to) to be allowed to play actual poker games with the guys when they had their poker games. And I was/am DAMN good at it, too- WHEN I’m in the mood.

I’m very superstitious. I come from a long line of so called “Mountain Witches” and I know lots of mountain superstitions and remedies. I don’t think Paul quite believes in any of it. But I do. I know stuff. I know how to make stuff happen. So……be careful.

In Rememberance of Clayton.....

Three years ago -August 26th in the early morning- My baby boy, Clayton was taken from us in an auto accident.
I miss him just as much today as I did the day he left us. The pain of losing him has dulled, but never lessens.
******************************
I Remember:
*When you were a baby the only way I could get you to nap was to rub your back and sing Amazing Grace to you til you fell asleep.
*When you were two , waking up to you and your brother leaning on the bed staring at me with a can of oysters in your little hands wanting Oyster Stew for breakfast and me telling you it took a LONG time to make O.Stew and getting you you eat a bowl of cereal while I boiled a pan of water, and THEN making your stew for lunch for you.
*You riding that Power-Wheels truck down the drive way with your hair flying back and the biggest smile in the world on your face because you loved "driving" fast. I remember being so scared I threw the truck in the dumpster and you crying to your big bubba,Frank, when he came home from kindergarden and him getting it out of the dumpster for you and promising me that he would make sure you didn't ride it down that steep hill anymore. And you didn't.
*You never left home without hugging and kissing me and telling me you loved me- even when you was mad at me.
*The week you and I BOTH had an allergic reaction when we ate some chocolate.
*Our trips to Gatlinburg and that there was nothing you didn't want to try.
*How you hated my "Christmas Stick" as you called my slim tree and how you said it just wasn't a "mama" tree and how I promised I would have a real tree from now on. I'll keep that promise baby boy, I'm sorry I ever bought that slim tree.
*When you called me and gave me the news you and Kathy were expecting.You were so nervous- and so excited at the same time. You would have been a fantastic daddy, Son. How could you have not been?
* When you bought Kathy's engagement ring. I don't think there was a moment you were more happy than when she said yes.
*How you and bubba used to cover for each other when y'all got in trouble. I tried not to punish y'all too much cause I never quite knew who REALLY did it.
*How you and Julie always wanted to open Christmas gifts on your December Birthdays. And so the tradition began of you could choose ONE from under the tree to open on your birthday. And y'all always waited til Your birthday on the 11th and all opened one together- even Frank because his birthday was in May and you never wanted him left out of anything you did. You were the best brother ever!
*Most of all I remember how you always gave me kisses and hugs no matter what age you were or how many of your friends were around and I remember your sweet voice and how you called me "Sweetie" instead of Mama.

For most of your life it had been you and me and Frank and Julie against the world. You were the rock baby boy and I don't know how we will learn to live without you. Our saving grace is that you will be in our hearts and memories all our lives and you will be there giving us direction and advice.

I love you, son. Be waiting for us when we come home to you.

Gateway.....Stuff.............

Paul introduced me to the game Munchkin last year. I loved it.

Last evening, he introduced me to Magic-The Game. I LOVE it!!

Gateway Drug(I mean GAME) to D & D, perhaps?
:-)
I hope so. I really enjoy being introduced to my husbands interests and finding out I LIKE, (or LOVE), them as well!!

And speaking of ........

*************************

I'm really looking forward to recording our podcast this week. I got to choose the subject- and luckily I came up with a topic that Paul had already been thinking about doing for a while.
(Great minds and all that rubbish....)

I have LOTS of questions and I'm sure he can educate me.....er....us, I mean.

*************************

Went to Greenwood yesterday and got my teefers relined. It was great- but....(you KNEW they'd be a BUT didn't you?)......now the lip of the denture that rides along my upper palate has rubbed a blister there. O-U-C-H.

So Friday it will be back down there to get them fixed and get my second set made.
They didn't want to make them for me til I asked for a partial refund...and then they changed their minds about my need for them. Good.

**************************

Is it my imagination- or is it starting to,if not cool down a bit in temps, then maybe the humidity is going down a bit?
I mean, I have gone out several times in the ...GULP....SUNLIGHT over the past couple days and I can BREATHE without it searing my lungs!!! OMG- OMG!!! Autumn is on the way- I just KNOW it!!!!!!!!!

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Man I tell you, this has been a roller-coaster of a month for me.
I'm either crying my eyes out, or I'm laughing like a maniac.

Gah!!!!!

Is there no Middle Ground?

Wrong!!!

Laughing My Butt Off at Paul's recording on our Podcast site...


Placing the blame for no podcast this week SQUARELY on my shoulders!!!


No Soup For Paul!!!! Come Back- ONE YEAR!!!!!! LOL...Too Funny!!!!!


No- he really is sick- as you can hear from his voice- and altho I think his voice is still sexy, The coughing and sneezing and such...not so much. And I'm still coughing as well, so it IS best that we not try and do it this week....even if we felt better, I have to work the rest of the weekend, too.

Ugh- I'm SOOOOO ready for this week to be OVER, Already!!!

Awwwwwww, Darn.

Well, unless Paul decides to do a solo podcast- there won't be a new one this weekend. I have to pull FOUR twelve hour shifts in a row beginning Thursday night.
I COULD get up a couple hours early and us do one- but Paul still isn't feeling well PLUS we usually record them about 2 AM- when there's no trains going past every twenty minutes, and at that time I'll be in the middle of my shift at work. We recorded the last podcast about 10PM and we still had to stop three times in the hour it took to record it. And that SERIOUSLY threw off our rhythm even tho I think it's the best one we've done yet.

It's nice having something like that we do -and enjoy doing- together!

I'm hoping our friends MC & Michelle start doing one soon too! They been talking about it for a while and I really would like to hear them do one, even if it's on a bi-weekly or occasional schedule.

Speaking of...I need to go see if I can come up with MY topic for the next podcast.
Later Y'all!!!!

Update.....

Migraine Headache 95% gone.

I can live with that, so it's off to work with my bad self this evening!!!

HOT!!!! Hot!!!! Hot!!!!

Almost 4:30AM and it's (still/already)












here in South Carolina.

Dammitt- when is cool weather gonna get here, already???????
I'm ready for some weather I can wear some long pants and turtleneck sweaters in.

Re-Do!!!!

Three years ago I posted this after answering these questions. So I'm gonna do it again. today......My how time changes some things.

* What Was I Doing 10 Years Ago?
I was working as a Receptionist/Specialist at Lockheed Martin Employees Benefits Building..(ie- I was Security Receptionist there)

* What Was I doing 1 Year Ago?
I was doing about the same thing I am now- wondering how the hell I was going to get my Christmas shopping done on time with everything that was going on!!!

* What Was I Doing Yesterday?
I was trying to get a bit more enthusiastic about doing a podcast after being sick for a week. Little did i know it was going to be the most fun of the ones we have done so far!!

* 5 Snacks I Enjoy
1-snow cream
2-pound cake
3-Subway Oven Roast Chicken Sammiches- toasted, with provolone cheese, Lettuce, olives, Parmesan, & lite mayo. I could eat those every single DAY!!!!
4-baked chips
5-fruit

*5 things I Would Do If I Won 100 Million Dollars
1-get my debt paid up and my credit straight
2-buy a car
3-buy a moderate house with a pool
4-Help my kids out a bit
5-set up a fund and build a homeless shelter with a kitchen

*5 Locations I Would Like To Run Off To
1-Montana
2-the Bahamas
3-Great Britain
4-A remote cabin in the Blue Ridge mountains
5-A remote deserted Island with all the amenities

*5 Bad Habits I Have
1-telling people to shut up...I've never liked that phrase but find myself saying it when I'm extremely frustrated now
2-emotional/stress eating
3-apologizing for laughing..I have no idea why.
4-expecting the best of people/trusting too much
5-thinking before speaking.

*5 Things I Like Doing
1-taking long rides in the car
2-baking
3-reading
4-cuddling & talking with my hubby
5-taking pics and playing on PICASA

*5 TV Shows I Like
1-Army Wives
2-True Blood
3-M.A.S.H.
4-Biggest Loser
5-DEXTER(on Showtime)

*5 Things I Hate
1-loud engines revving,lawn-mowers and loud music when I'm trying to sleep
2-couples arguing in public
3-parents who don't discipline their kids
4-bad table manners
5-having a migraine

*5 Biggest Joys Of The Moment
1-Looking forward to my first visit EVER out of the USA!!!!
2-having a very supportive and understanding husband who loves me and isn't afraid to show me.
3-Having a job
4-Having lost 50 lbs and still losing!!
5-having good friends who listen-(I have the BEST friends ever!!)

I Can Handle It....

The 3rd anniversary of my son's passing is coming up on the 26th of this month.
And he's been visiting me in my dreams all week long.

When it first happened, I didn't dream of him. It was if my mind had completely shut down at night. I dreamt of getting the news of the accident. I dreamt of searching for him and not being able to find him. I drempt of the funeral. But I never saw HIM. I wept every time a thought of him passed my mind for the first year- and that was pretty often...several times a day. The second year, I cried a bit less, usually only breaking down when I saw or heard something and immediately thought, "I gotta call Clay and tell him about that- he'll think that's hilarious!!"...and then I remembered I couldn't call him and share with him....he was gone.

This past year I finally a dream about him. It was around my Birthday. He came for a visit and we sat and talked and he said he was happy and not to worry about him so much. And I got a hug from him too. He gave great hugs.
When he was little, I would get on my knees so we were about the same height and he would wrap his little arms around my neck and hug...Not too hard like some little kids do- not too loose and tentative like he wasn't really happy about it- it was a hug that let me know he loved me and was happy just being there hugging me and everything else could wait a minute til we was finished. Unhurried. And when he grew up to be the 6'3 man he was...his hugs didn't change. No matter where we was or who we were with- whenever we ran into each other, at the mall, at the supermarket, where-ever, he would give me a hug like that. Once, when he was a teenager, he was with his friends "cruising" at the local shopping mall...(actually they was just sitting around in the parking lot on the hoods of their cars talking and having fun- but they called it "cruising")... and when I pulled in the parking lot a few lines over from them, he trotted over and gave me a hug. His friends tried giving him a hard time about hugging his mom at his age- but he turned around and told them that he didn't care-that was HIS MAMA and if they didn't hug THEIR mama's they was stupid cause no one took care of you and loved you like your mama did. That shut them up.
It was a proud moment in my life too, because He wasn't led by the crowd-he spoke his mind, he was the leader. And he had sense about him, too. And I was happy when he met his Kathy. It was love at first sight for him- seriously, he came home the very first day he met her and told me he had met the girl he was going to marry- and he did.


I've told you about mine and Clays last visit, and I'll probably again on the 26th- I repost because I usually don't feel up to writing that day.
But to be able to dream about him and be able to see him again in those dreams and to get hugs again....I can handle it now. It makes me happy instead of terribly, terribly sad.

He is still with me in my heart.

L-O-S-E-R-S!!!!!!!!

I SO need one of these.
Maybe there IS more GAMER in me than I previously thought......

Damned Insomnia.

So here it is...5AM, and I'm still here wide awake. I surfed the web a while, I watched TV a while I took something to make me relax and went to bed for an hour.......and nuthin'.

I got a blood sugar drop so I got up- went into the kitchen and ate a bit of my leftover dinner and then contemplated baking a cake. I got the stuff out now getting ready for baking but I don't know that will happen til later in the morning.

We got a load of stuff to do this morning- regardless of how much I do or don't sleep- and regardless of whether or not we feel like doing it. Taking the full trash bags to the recycling center in the summer is a MUST DO chore- you wait- you got big, bad STINKY problems that can last you WEEKS! So no can be a slacker on that one. We also HAVE to go get groceries. NO FOOD is NOT an option. Same for getting cat food and kitty litter. No is not an option for either of those things either.

Also, I have to go get some Estro-Blend from Wal-Mart. I ran out about three weeks ago and haven't replenished my supply- and the hot flashes are SO back!! I swear that stuff is a miracle pill.

Sooo...... Now I'm just sitting here, as Hubbys Tee Shirt says....Busy Being Bored.

Gamer...............................Or Not.

If you were stranded on a deserted island with a couple friends, and only had ONE game to play, what game would you want?

Now my first choice would be Chess. It's a THINKING game. It would never bore me. Ever.

My second choice would be a deck of cards....obviously because there's a LARGE variety of games you can play with a deck of cards- not nearly as much a thinking game as chess- but they still give you strategy to think about.

Now Hubby says probably D & D would be his choice.

But for the life of me I cannot fathom the mindset of the D&D fanatics. Hubby has tried explaining D&D to me many, many, MANY times...he even got Munchkin to introduce me into the D&D mindset--baby steps, you know. I LOVE Munchkin and after a few minutes I TOTALLY get it....but D&D is a totally different story for me. Paul explains it to me, .....but instead of seeing it as what he's trying to get me to understand, I see it as a game with a few rules and regulations dice game-...but mostly I see it as a social game- where the imaginations and storytelling part is very important but....not as RIGID as a game of...say....Monopoly.

I-Just-Don't-Get-It.

I'm not very good with the verbal storytelling stuff as some people are.
(I know- THAT's hard to believe, huh?? As much as I love to talk and make up HUGE imaginary LIES at the drop of a hat-usually just to see what reaction I get before ROTFLMAO-*I could NEVER be a serious liar, I can never resist laughing when I lie*- I just ain't good at doing it to play a game.....weird)
I have sat and listened to a group of people sitting around PLAYING D&D- and it just sounds to me like a long boring conversation and I cannot for the life of me tell what is their D&D game-play and what is "sideline" conversation.

Maybe I'm ADD/D&D.

I'd still choose Chess.........or cards.

Sick as a DOG.

Where did that phrase originate, I wonder???

Anyway, all week long I've been sick...with what I'm not sure. It started last weekend with a stomach bug I got from someone at work...or someones...it's been making the rounds. Rainbows- but no Flowers Thank GOD!!!!....(Thanks AA!!!)
Then Monday morning I started coughing and sneezing. And I haven't stopped. I've felt so tired I can barely keep my eyes open at work, I haven't felt like walking at all-altho I did manage to do just over a mile extra during the two days I worked and could have logged more than that but they kept me hopping there too all night long...figures. The times I do NOT feel like working is when I am especially busy at work.

Anyway, I've been sleeping the sleep of the dead all week long too- and when I wake up- I STILL feel like eating, drinking a bit and then going right back to bed again.
Paul and I are recording our podcast tonight and I'll probably sound like HELL.....
But unless he does it solo this week -which he wont- cause I really am LIKING doing it- altho I had my doubts at first....you know how shy and retiring I am, and all......
:-)

Anyway.......I hope I'm over this- whatever it is- by Monday.

I hate being sick.

Waiting...

Does it ever seem to you like we spend the biggest part of our lives waiting on one thing or the other?

Me too.

Candy Porn

I think that pretty well covers it.

Home Again

Well, our stolen camera is back home again...finally.

I'm not going into the details again- I just get more and more upset every time I discuss it- but I just wish the person who took it would have just come to us and admitted they had taken it.
But he is still denying he took it.

Deny all he wants- it's our camera- the same model- the same serial number- and I know the EXACT progression of how it came to be where it was.

This is the LAST I have to say about it.
I hope, some day, some way, this person gets his life in order....gets off the drugs and drinking and gets his life right- with his family, his friends, with God... And I hope someday, miracle of miracles will happen and this person will come to us, Man Up, and admit he did wrong and stole from us. Trust is a VERY fragile thing. It takes a lot to regain it once you've lost it- and I am completely shattered by this betrayal.
Of all the people in my life- he is one of the ones I would have trusted with my life- I never thought he would ever steal from me/us.

Never.

This Week...Day 1 SUX So Far

Okay, so this week not starting out not so great and it's only day one.

Last night I was throwing up since about midnight....one of the patients relatives had a stomach bug and she was spreading the effing joy. Lucky me- I seem to be the one who caught it even tho I was around her the least of any staff member.

As a result- my throat is now so raw I can barely swallow.

When I got home, the cats seemed to REVEL in making, not a LOT of noise, but what noise they did make was in close proximity to where I was trying to sleep......also we have some stupid little gnats we cant get rid of in the house and they enjoyed buzzing around/up my nostrils all morning/afternoon as well.

I finally gave up even TRYING to sleep and got the hell up.

I thought maybe eating a bite would put me in a better mood- but no. Not so much.

I'm in need of several things at the moment...I need the cats to leave me alone so I can sleep- not that it matters much now cause I gotta head off to work in about 30 minutes. I need a nice stiff drink-or three. I need a cigarette...or a pack. And I need another vacation. And not exactly in that order.

At least my hubby was sweet and was trying to keep things quiet for me. He's my silver lining in this black cloud of a day.

Havin Fun!!

I tells ya- I'm having so much fun this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why??? ......Because I'm working with all my fav people at work this week...PLUS I got to have Lunch with Rhonni and my hubby, AND I got a NOOK, AND I got to eat out at Subway(my fav place for sammiches), PLUS I got to see my sister and niece and nephews from IVA and spend some time with THEM, AND I got to spend some time with my Aunt Belle and cousin Chris down from New York & North Carolina, AND I'm having a BUNCH of fun making some special photos on the PICASA application.

It just gets better and better and better!!!!

Best Hubby EVER!!!!!

OMG- today my darling Husband sold one of his guns- and bought me the ebook reader I wanted.
He got me a NOOK and I LOVE it!!! I haven't fully figured out how to do everything on it- but I'm sure it won't take long to figure out. While he was napping tonight I took the opportunity to play around with it a bit.

I'm sure Paul will play with it and figure it out soon and any questions i might have he'll be able to answer for me.

Now i will never have to give up my books/library again!!!
I LOVE YOU PAUL!!!! Thank you SO much, Baby!!!!

FOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!

Read Odie's blog-post where he mentioned some of my FAVORITE foods ever.
Was fine....but now......Starving........ Had enough strength to put on Chicken Dish he mentioned...don't know if I'll have the strength to hold out til it's ready to eat...in 4-6 hours.

If you don't hear from me again- you'll know I expired.

Kindle-Less......

Do any of you have a KINDLE or one of the electronic readers? What do you think of it? My sister , Nina, has one and last I heard- she loved it!!!


On the one hand, I would LOVE to have one- especially now that with moving I'm having to give up all but a dozen of my books. I can see where an electronic reader would come in so handy in space and storage....Some of them hold like 500 or more books....but on the other hand, there's just something SO relaxing and satisfying about actually holding a book and turning the pages.......and nothing (except coffee brewing or Thanksgiving day dinner) smells quite as nice as a room full of books. Preferably leather bound ones.

It's just breaking my heart I'm having to let go of my library.

I think I'm going to ask Santa for an electronic reader for Christmas.
And that's ALL I'm asking for.