Sunday, June 19, 2005

The Fair Share

Why is it that when we live alone, we do all the chores automaticly. We clean up eveything without question- just because it needs doing.

But when we get married or live with someone(not a room-mate) we automatically begin griping about having to do the exact same things we did before?

Why does it suddenly become a big THING that each does "their fair share"?

I realised hubby and I were crabbing alot at each other about that very thing, and I just started thinking. What difference does it make if he or I takes the dishes to the kitchen at the end of the day? What difference does it make if he or I cook when it's mealtime? What difference does it make if he or I empties the bin?

What difference does it make that I empty the ashtrays even tho I hardly smoke at all? What difference does it make that he does my laundry when he doesn't wear it?

I am just happy we are together and are happy. Those issues are minor insignificant things that make no difference in the grand scheme of our universe and I refuse to bicker about them anymore.

Unless he doesn't do his fair share.



serendipity said...

Perhaps the fact that their are still only the same number of chores but two of you to do them should count?

Besides, if only one of you is working then it should be the other persons "job" to make sure the housework is done. Whether that be the male or the female in the relationship. If both work, then it's gotta be equally shared.

I'd gripe too if I felt put upon.

Sunny said...

That's my point- I DONT really feel put-upon. There's not that much mess to gripe about- certainly not anymore than the messes I would make when I lived alone. Yet, we both have the compulsion to gripe about the other not doing their fair share- which we do if we just think about it. Why the need to catalog everything and it be exactly equal? Why can't we just see something needs doing and just DO it? BOTH of us?

Humans are strange creatures sometimes.

Very strange.

Paulius said...


no one ever wants to do housework, and why do it at all when you can say (over and over again):

"(Theatrical sigh), I moved 3500 miles, gave up my friends, family, 20,000 dollars and everything I knew to be with you...and you won't even do the dishes for me."

Evil? Yes
Mean? Definately
Effective? Damn right

serendipity said...

Paulius that is THE lowest emotional blackmail I ever heard LOL