Jealousy Issues.

Yeah, I'll be the first to admit I have a problem when it comes to trust and jealousy.

And here are a few reasons why.....

In high school, my fiance was an orphan and had to work as well as go to school. When I was sick I would stay out of school to keep him from getting sick and missing work. One day I was out with the flu, had caught it from my best friend, Toni, who KNEW why I stayed away from said BF when I was sick, and when I got back to school I found out they had cut class and went off together for the day.
I asked Toni about why she had done it, being my best friend and all, she replied that she was about over the flu and since I wasn't there she saw nothing wrong with her and said BF going to his place and spending the day smoking pot and "hanging". Don't get me wrong, but her idea of "hanging" was to take off her clothes where ever she was when she got smoking dope. I had to rescue her several times when we were "hanging" with some of her friends.
I'm not stupid. I know what went on....especially after I asked BF about it and he wouldn't look me in the eye while denying anything went on.
Whatever.

Fast forward a few years to first man-slut I married.
Walk into my bedroom after coming home from work. Hear shower running and think"ahhhhhh a shower sounds nice" so I go to step in.
Oops, already occupied by him and his second cousin. Enter lame excuse about working in the yard and conserving water and "nothing happened" followed by "you're too suspicious" and "have jealousy issues- she's my COUSIN".
Yeah- whatever......ALL cousins take showers together no matter what age they are.


Fast forward a few years.
Going to work. Forgot access badge at home and can't get into facility without it. Turn around and go back. Husband has showered, shaved, dressed and is walking out the door when I pull up. Ask where he's going and as he is telling me he was just going out to get some cigs, an auto I don't know starts to pull into the drive. He turns white, begins walking to my car and tries to wave off the female sitting in the unfamiliar auto without me seeing it.
It's the girl from the convenience store down the street. Later his best friend told me that it had been going on for about 4 months while I was at work.

Fast forward a few years.
I befriend a girl who is in an abusive relationship.
I try to help and be there for her because I had been thru the same thing.
She starts seeing a married guy. And laughs and tells me that his wife is such a dumb bitch because she thinks he is over there helping her "fix" her van and do stuff(repairs) around the house since she has no man. I tell her she is horrible. In a bad way, not teasing. She takes offense.
Few weeks later, my husband at the time, told me she had asked him to come by and help her pack some stuff because she was moving soon and asked me if I minded. I said lemme think about it and told him-( Mind you- we (me & Darleen)were still friends), she hadn't mentioned anything about a move, (nor had she included me in the invitation/request for help.)
I gave her a couple days to mention it to me. Then when she asked him again if he was coming over to "spend the day with her" Her words, there.......I went over and asked her wtf was going on?
She got all red in the face and couldn't answer any of the questions and I told her in NO uncertain terms that my man would NOT be coming over to "spend the day " with her and she needed to remember that just a few weeks before she had been doing the same thing and using the same excuses with her other man and LAUGHING to ME about what a stupid bitch HIS wife was and his wife thought she was Darlene's friend too.
Don't Fuck with me. I may be blonde but I am NOT stupid.


So with a track record of back-stabbing friends like that, yeah I have trust and jealousy issues. So if I see someone telling my man "hugz"...thats fine....even "luv ya" is okay- friends TELL each other that. But when it graduates to "love you" and talking about certain subjects and spending time alone together without an invitation to the significant other, that IS inappropriate, no matter how good a friend you are, unless you have known each other for a VERY LONG TIME.

What brought all this on?
One of my friends had a married guy friend ask her a question about his infatuation with a woman friend and about the advisability of having coffee or dinner with her. He admitted he found her interesting, no, I think Facinating was the word he actually used, and wanted to "cultivate a relationship" with her.

My advice.
Leave it alone. Don't tempt fate. If you love your wife, think about how YOU would feel if the situation were reversed and SHE was wanting to cultivate a friendship with a "facinating" man.

Think about it.