Crybaby......

I have stuff on my mind.

I detest my job. I thought I was getting used to second shift but I was wrong. I detest it, Paulius and I never seem to have any time together now. He usually sleeps til time for me to go to work and he's either already asleep when I come in or up after I go to bed.
I told my bossman that I want the first third-shift position that comes available. We didn't spend all this time and money and energy to get Paulius over here and us get married to be communicating by chatting on the phone or but to say bye or goodnight.
We go on Tuesdays to run errands and that's bout the extent of it til the weekend. I don't like it at all. I adore my husband and love spending time with him.........

I completely broke down yesterday and just bawled for about an hour....and when Pauli got up to say bye to me before I walked out the door to go to work, I started crying again.

I have more worries too- but those are just something I am going to have to work out myself.
I have begun having dreams of my dad again, too. Not helping my mental state in the least.

Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to have a nice, quiet, normal life again.
I need a break. Or meds.
I just don't know what to do to make it all right again. I just don't know.

I finished reading HP this morning as well......It did nothing to make me happier.
Altho it ended much better than I thought it would- I wasn't very happy with the entire book.
It had a few moments that made me chuckle- it had a few moments that made me cry....but it wasn't at all what I had expected. And I am sad because it is over.

Remember The Great Darkness I published on my blog awhile back? That feeling is back.