Electronics Made Easy

Okay, so this is what I do- i come in from work and lo and behold i want to watch some TV while I'm waiting for Daughter to come over so we can switch cars. Ummmmmm Hmmmmm.....


So, then I turn on the TV and the volume, and the cable- and the TV is on Video 2. Now i KNOW that it has to be on Video1 for it to work- so i hunt down the stupid controler(we have four-each one for a different thing PLUS the master controler) and try and put it on video1. It won't do it.
DAMN!!!!

I take the back off the controller and then roll the batteries- sometimes it wont work unless you do that cause the batteries shift slightly. Still nothing.
DAMN!!!!

So I try turning the TV on manually and seeing if the menu on IT will let me switch it. Nothing.
DAMN!!!!!!

I give up because I'm about to get the freaking baseball bat and beat the everliving HELL out of the damn thing and then toss the little pieces into the yard and then run over them with the car.

Why can electronics not be simple? Turn it on- It works.
Why does everything have to be complicated?????......

Turn on the cable box to channel 99 then turn the TV on Channel 3. Turn the home theatre system on and plug the green cable into the back of the TV, unless you have a converterbox J1945-WTF69 and in that case plug in the RED cable into the back of the remote VCR box. Now stand in the direct center of the northern corner of the far eastern room of the house, make sure the room is painted split-pea soup green, and whistle yankee doodle while balancing a broomstick on your elbow while washing your hair and painting the boy dogs toenails Avon Fuscia #w895hdye98732. Hop three times backward, then plug the orange cable into the wall socket of the kitchen outlet, unless you have no orange cable. If that is the case, find your husband and let him do this because you are obviously too stupid to possibly understand any of this.

Amen to THAT brother!!

Dammitt!!! I burnt my fries while I was writing this!! And the one I didn't burn I poped into my mouth and then spit it back out because I could HEAR my tongue sizzling when the fry went in.

Oh this SUX all round!!!!!


PAULLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honey, will you come tur......................